transcript

Speaker 1:
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Speaker 2:
[00:24] Price guarantee on top text and data.

Speaker 1:
[00:26] Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See tmobile.com for details.

Speaker 2:
[00:30] Last Podcast on the Left is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the Name Your Price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

Speaker 3:
[00:54] There's no place to escape to.

Speaker 4:
[00:56] This is The Last Podcast on the Left.

Speaker 1:
[01:02] That's when the cannibalism started.

Speaker 5:
[01:10] Yeah, I know, but it was truly a wonderful time.

Speaker 6:
[01:12] It was a great time.

Speaker 5:
[01:13] But yeah, I was saying, like, one of the, one of my alligator buddies got bit by a crocodile.

Speaker 2:
[01:18] It just shows it's real.

Speaker 6:
[01:19] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[01:22] No, no, this is a crocodile bite.

Speaker 1:
[01:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5:
[01:25] Luckily, it was a really small crocodile, and it only ripped one tendon, so everything's gonna be okay. He's already back up. He said, they said that he went to the hospital, they pushed, like, the tendon inside of him, they put him in a boot, and he was back at work that night. I was like, the crocodile's gonna live.

Speaker 7:
[01:40] Yeah, dude.

Speaker 5:
[01:41] You don't gotta get right back in there.

Speaker 2:
[01:43] Yeah, I think by that point, we were like, maybe we could take a break.

Speaker 5:
[01:45] They've been around for millions of years.

Speaker 4:
[01:47] So it's this animal people, man, it's that badge of honor. They want to get hurt and then be able to go back to work, like, yep, I got my crocodile back at work, two hours.

Speaker 2:
[01:56] You should be like, nobody cares that you're bragging.

Speaker 4:
[01:58] Yeah, it's the same thing with my father, the same shit.

Speaker 2:
[02:00] You're the only one who knows.

Speaker 4:
[02:02] Yeah. You know that, right?

Speaker 2:
[02:03] You're the only person who knows that you're doing this to yourself.

Speaker 5:
[02:04] Days off are allowed.

Speaker 2:
[02:07] Yeah, and guess what?

Speaker 5:
[02:08] Really, this is a workplace injury.

Speaker 2:
[02:11] Yeah. And you know what else is good? You need it? It's like, you know, like friends and family and other people who might know you. You might want to leave for a second.

Speaker 5:
[02:17] I'm almost kind of jealous. I don't think I can get a workplace injury.

Speaker 2:
[02:20] No, well, you can get a workplace injury.

Speaker 5:
[02:22] How fat do I have to get to get a workplace injury here?

Speaker 2:
[02:24] I know how. You know how, Eddie, honestly? It's getting shot outside.

Speaker 7:
[02:30] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[02:30] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7:
[02:31] I feel like that's how it is.

Speaker 5:
[02:31] If I'm outside, I'm fucked. You guys have plenty of... If I'm on the sidewalk, I feel like that's Burbank territory.

Speaker 4:
[02:38] If he's on the sidewalk, I ain't paying for shit.

Speaker 7:
[02:40] No, of course not.

Speaker 5:
[02:41] No, no, no.

Speaker 2:
[02:41] But all you'll hear is like, Mr. Larson.

Speaker 7:
[02:44] That's how you know he's coming. And the man shoots you through his trench coat. It's like, please do it on property. I just drag my body over there.

Speaker 4:
[02:53] Welcome to Last Podcast on the Left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with Henry Zebrowski, the cold capitalist Henry Zebrowski.

Speaker 2:
[03:01] Yes. All I think about is exceptionalism. Everywhere I go, as you can tell. Obviously, because I flipped our humble little network here into an absolutely massive business empire.

Speaker 7:
[03:17] Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[03:18] We're rolling in it.

Speaker 2:
[03:22] How does someone make this money?

Speaker 4:
[03:28] We have the man who wants to eat himself out of a job, but has the strength to not do it. It's Ed Larson.

Speaker 5:
[03:33] That's right. I want to thank Mark here from Alaska. Send me all these canned fish.

Speaker 2:
[03:40] You know, what's really great about getting all this help me get sick.

Speaker 5:
[03:43] You know, if I eat this and get sick, is that a workplace hazard? No. If I didn't ask, would it have been?

Speaker 2:
[03:49] Yeah, it's a workplace hazard.

Speaker 5:
[03:52] See, this is good.

Speaker 2:
[03:53] Thank you. Sending this to Alaska before we went.

Speaker 5:
[03:57] We're going to Alaska in the morning.

Speaker 7:
[03:59] Tomorrow.

Speaker 2:
[03:59] We're going to Alaska, but this will allow me to remember Alaska when we're home.

Speaker 5:
[04:04] You know what would be great is I'm actually just going to put all of this in my backpack and then pretend like I bought it for Julie.

Speaker 7:
[04:10] Oh wow.

Speaker 5:
[04:13] Look at all these gifts.

Speaker 4:
[04:14] I brought you seven jars of fish.

Speaker 2:
[04:17] Yes, wait. You know what? Wives, if there's one thing I know wives love, is jars of smoked fish. Love it. Ladies can't get enough of, they love the smell of it.

Speaker 5:
[04:29] It really, looking at this, it really does make it hard for me to not open it right now and eat it. But I won't because I respect you.

Speaker 2:
[04:36] It will devastate this room.

Speaker 5:
[04:37] Yeah, it'll devastate, probably upstairs as well.

Speaker 2:
[04:39] Yeah, very much so. So 100% full disclosure, total transparency here at LPN.

Speaker 5:
[04:44] We love disclosure here at LPN.

Speaker 2:
[04:46] Yes, I love that film. Demi Moore. Now I want to be clear with you that we had a series that we were just about to do. We had a two-episode series we were going to do and we're going to do it still.

Speaker 5:
[04:57] Eventually.

Speaker 4:
[04:57] We're definitely going to do it. I mean, right now I'm looking at my laptop and I certainly have tabs open for Synonym Psychotic and Synonym Unpredictability.

Speaker 7:
[05:06] Great.

Speaker 4:
[05:08] That's a little hint.

Speaker 2:
[05:09] Another little hint is that we just spent three weeks going through probably some of the most harrowing material I've read since we did Mengele. So now that we went through Jimmy Savile and then with this next series that we were going to do, as we popped the hood on it, we realized how much molesting was happening in it.

Speaker 7:
[05:30] A lot.

Speaker 4:
[05:30] In fact, it was most of the first episode was going to be dedicated to that because it is an incredibly important to the story and it is a motivation. It is a it's a big part of it.

Speaker 5:
[05:40] Spoiler alert.

Speaker 4:
[05:44] And I wrote, you know, like 14 pages on it.

Speaker 2:
[05:46] But then Eddie, we sat there and we were looking at it. And I sat and Marcus and I looked at each other in the face. And I was like, if I see if I have to read the sentence, he parted her lips one more time this month. I'm going to need I just need a break. I just need a break.

Speaker 4:
[06:02] So Tuesday was the closest. I came to buying a pack of cigarettes in probably ten years.

Speaker 2:
[06:07] Which is honestly, you know, I've been there with you.

Speaker 4:
[06:10] Yeah. Yeah. No, I pulled into the gas station. I was about to get out of the car and then I pulled away again.

Speaker 5:
[06:16] Well, I said no, I didn't even get gas.

Speaker 4:
[06:18] I did not. Nope. I didn't want to die.

Speaker 5:
[06:20] Even expensive.

Speaker 4:
[06:21] I'm going to sit there. Couldn't afford it. Not at that moment. Couldn't afford the gas.

Speaker 2:
[06:27] But due to this change, this is a little bit of a gap stop. We have another series coming right after this. I'm going to lead a series and we also have a book. We have another massive series that's coming. I just wanted to like figure this would be a good time for us to have a silly little talk about cryptids. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[06:42] That's just a fucking palate cleanser.

Speaker 4:
[06:44] Yeah, cleanse the palate for us, cleanse the palate for the fans. We really, we needed it.

Speaker 5:
[06:50] You know, and I got to feel like if we're going to talk about one thing on the show and cryptids seem to be like a big thing in our community. Everywhere I go, people always got the Mothman shirts on, we got the Mothman, the Butterfly Dude coffee.

Speaker 2:
[07:04] Thank you. We will be soon.

Speaker 4:
[07:05] springhilljackcoffee.com, please go buy SpringHill Jack Coffee, it's still wonderful.

Speaker 2:
[07:09] Yeah, that's what this episode's really about.

Speaker 5:
[07:10] I got my little squonk here, but since I've been a part of the show almost three years now, we've only done one Cryptid episode.

Speaker 2:
[07:16] You know what I find interesting is that you entered into this after we've done so much of the silly stuff, and it does really feel like because the world is currently not super silly and it has not been super silly for a fucking minute, that it does kind of feel like when we were talking about Cryptids, we didn't quite know how to do it with enough meat.

Speaker 4:
[07:39] Yeah, well, think about it like movies. There's not a whole lot of silly 70s movies. It's not a decade for silly movies.

Speaker 2:
[07:48] Putney Swope!

Speaker 4:
[07:49] It's not... I wouldn't call that... Yeah, you've really brought that up twice.

Speaker 2:
[07:53] Why is Putney Swope on the top of my mind?

Speaker 4:
[07:55] I have no idea.

Speaker 5:
[07:56] I don't even know what it is.

Speaker 2:
[07:57] Robert Downey Sr.'s parody of the advertising company. Oh, okay.

Speaker 5:
[08:02] I watched that.

Speaker 4:
[08:03] Yeah, no, it's got a great soundtrack, too. Fantastic soundtrack. I don't know why you keep bringing that up.

Speaker 2:
[08:07] I don't know.

Speaker 5:
[08:08] I think you need to get this out of your system and just watch it.

Speaker 2:
[08:11] I had seen it not that long ago, about a year ago.

Speaker 5:
[08:13] Oh, really?

Speaker 4:
[08:14] So shut up about it.

Speaker 7:
[08:17] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[08:20] But, and I think that is where we're at right now, of course. You know, things are, we're in a darker time. So what we're covering is going to be a little bit darker. And it's, it is hard to find a good angle on cryptids that's going to satisfy us and it's not going to feel stupid. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[08:39] You know, because like the Squonk, right?

Speaker 5:
[08:41] He's my boy. He's my favorite cryptid. He's the only one I learned about, but it was in that episode that we did.

Speaker 2:
[08:46] But it's an example of a, which now just kind of become like, I'm not nothing to besmirch the Squonk people because we met the people that run Squonkapalooza.

Speaker 5:
[08:56] Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[08:57] Like, you know, we know it's a whole thing. We know now that these little kind of, kind of, I would say almost proprietary cryptids are used to kind of prop up local economies.

Speaker 4:
[09:07] I'd call them cottage cryptids.

Speaker 5:
[09:08] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[09:09] It's like, it's like there's so many of these like little cryptids that, you know, towns will build festivals around like Squonkapalooza. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[09:16] Because Squonk is.

Speaker 4:
[09:17] Certain other places will get way too fucking protective over their cryptids.

Speaker 2:
[09:21] Oh, and then ensue you and then come at you and then pretend that they can own an entire cryptid, which is a thought form.

Speaker 7:
[09:29] You know, like you're just making up.

Speaker 2:
[09:31] You know what I mean?

Speaker 7:
[09:31] It's kind of interesting that you're. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[09:34] So the Mothman people, they came at us for the coffee. They, so they create like the myth of Mothman. Are we supposed to say that Mothman isn't real because they own it?

Speaker 2:
[09:44] We can't talk about it.

Speaker 5:
[09:45] So is Mothman real and is there slave?

Speaker 2:
[09:48] No. That is a bit of a slander.

Speaker 4:
[09:54] He's asking questions and I'm refusing to answer.

Speaker 2:
[09:58] I can think it legally we can say what they believe is that the company that came for us on our coffee believed, well, they were the first ones to name a coffee Mothman coffee. Oh. And then they decided that.

Speaker 5:
[10:11] Well, that actually makes sense to me.

Speaker 2:
[10:13] Niss.

Speaker 4:
[10:14] Sure. Sure. There's a reason why the new coffee is called.

Speaker 2:
[10:19] But look, they added all this fucking art to it. Look what they did, Marcus.

Speaker 7:
[10:23] They had none of that shit before.

Speaker 2:
[10:25] It just said Mothman coffee before. And now it's got fucking red eyes on it.

Speaker 4:
[10:29] Yeah. And a couple of...

Speaker 2:
[10:31] A couple of people from the 1920s.

Speaker 4:
[10:32] Flappers?

Speaker 7:
[10:33] Yeah. Yeah, they did. But then they added the red eye thing recently.

Speaker 2:
[10:37] But honestly, good on them. I don't mind it.

Speaker 7:
[10:39] You can take it.

Speaker 2:
[10:40] Please. Take the idea.

Speaker 4:
[10:41] It's fine.

Speaker 2:
[10:43] We lost the case.

Speaker 4:
[10:43] You know, and I love Butterfly Dude.

Speaker 2:
[10:45] I love Butterfly Dude coffee. It's better coffee.

Speaker 4:
[10:47] It's great coffee.

Speaker 5:
[10:48] It is, yeah. It's much better. Ever since we dropped the Mothman thing, there's something gross about that. Now, Butterfly's beautiful. You know, Moths, you know, I always think of Sons of the Lambs. Butterfly's, I'm thinking of coffee. Thinking of waking up, thinking of the morning. Thinking of good times.

Speaker 4:
[11:05] Spring Hill Jack coffee for when you want to wake up in the morning and think of something nice.

Speaker 5:
[11:09] Man.

Speaker 2:
[11:09] Something nice.

Speaker 5:
[11:11] All right, so here's the deal with me and Cryptids. I don't really know much about it. You know, a big fan of Harry and the Hendersons.

Speaker 2:
[11:17] Sure. We just actually kind of got that it does have some true things in it, like the hunter in the Harry and the Hendersons is based off a real big foot guy. The French guy is based off a real big foot hunter. There was some real research done on that.

Speaker 5:
[11:31] Hell yeah. That's great. I said I seen incident at Loch Ness, the winner hurts all comedy, which is great. I really do like that movie.

Speaker 2:
[11:38] Have you ever seen that?

Speaker 4:
[11:39] I've never seen it. The only hurts out comedy I've seen is even dwarves started small, which is incredible.

Speaker 5:
[11:45] I never seen that one.

Speaker 4:
[11:48] It's a very strange movie, where it's a bunch of little people on an island, and it seems like the world has ended. It's the movie where... You ever seen that clip that I got obsessed with a few years ago, where it's the little person laughing at a camel for like three minutes straight? He's just sitting there going, ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha, because the camel is chewing. He finds it very, very entertaining.

Speaker 5:
[12:10] Hey, I mean, different strokes.

Speaker 4:
[12:12] Yeah, there's a motorcycle in it. It's a hurts out comedy. It's very, very bizarre.

Speaker 2:
[12:16] But Incident Locknest is a mockumentary that he made.

Speaker 7:
[12:20] That's pretty great. It's very goofy.

Speaker 5:
[12:22] It's not his movie. He's just starring in it. He's just acting in it? Yeah, he's just starring in it. Oh, is this the clip?

Speaker 2:
[12:27] There's a little guy, there's a little kind of, there's the tiny maniac laughing at the camel.

Speaker 5:
[12:31] Yeah, he does find it hilarious.

Speaker 2:
[12:33] See, that's a tiny maniac.

Speaker 4:
[12:35] Oh, no, this movie is nothing but tiny maniacs. In fact, that's the whole point of the movie, is a tiny maniac society. And what do tiny maniacs do if they are given their own society? I'm sorry.

Speaker 2:
[12:45] Well, yeah, they laugh at camels all day.

Speaker 5:
[12:47] It looks like it has broken him completely in a mind melter.

Speaker 4:
[12:51] He does have a coughing fit at one point and you think he might die because he is quite old.

Speaker 2:
[12:55] Well, you know, he's smoking.

Speaker 7:
[12:56] Yeah, yeah, because he's trying to relax.

Speaker 5:
[12:59] But the thing with Cryptids is, you know, like I never really got obsessed with them like a lot of people do. You know, I think like you were saying, like certain towns, they take on Cryptids to sell merch and I love merch. So I'm a big merch guy, you know, I think it's unbelievable. And so I want these towns to make their money. But it feels like sometimes they just claim that Bigfoot's from there and he's not.

Speaker 2:
[13:25] Well, Bigfoot has got like, there's so many places that claim him between the Pacific Northwest, Maine.

Speaker 5:
[13:30] That makes sense to me. When I look at the trees around Portland, I'm like, Bigfoot could be in there.

Speaker 2:
[13:36] Well, there's so many different stories around Bigfoot and types of Bigfoot and then a lot of different, you know, Native American groups have like, indigenous groups have stories about the man of the mountain and guys walking around and there's all, and we know that there's many different types of what you'd call Bigfoot's.

Speaker 4:
[13:52] Yeah, just off the top of my head, you know, this Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Skunk Ape, the folk monster, that's the Arkansas Bigfoot. Yeah, that, you know, I can just.

Speaker 5:
[14:01] Yeti, Abominable Snowman.

Speaker 4:
[14:02] Sure.

Speaker 5:
[14:03] Yeah. They're in the same same category.

Speaker 4:
[14:06] Yeah, yeah, but large, hairy humanoids.

Speaker 5:
[14:08] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[14:08] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[14:09] So it just always seemed like something that could really. When people get obsessed with these things, it just seems like something you could like lead to like a serious psychosis.

Speaker 2:
[14:19] Well, I think people want life to be more than it is.

Speaker 5:
[14:23] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[14:24] And I think that cryptids are a great kind of almost like loophole in between aliens and ghosts and stuff like that, where you can ostensibly believe that a cryptid would be based upon some strange physical animal, like something that's around.

Speaker 5:
[14:40] And I love animals.

Speaker 2:
[14:42] Yes. And I think that's why it would make sense that you would like cryptids because there are legitimately, like if you wanted to get into cryptids, there are care bears. You know what I mean? It's all these different types of people making up things after staying in a weird shadow and then kind of putting them all together or needing other reasons. Like one of my favorite alt theories about the Mothman was that he was entirely fabricated by the mafia families of New Jersey that had weed fields in West Virginia and they created a fake story for people to not want to go into the weed fields. So there is like a story there which that kind of makes sense to me. It kind of attracts.

Speaker 5:
[15:21] And the moonshine, too.

Speaker 2:
[15:22] Oh yeah, and people getting like sick on moonshine, on bad moonshine.

Speaker 5:
[15:27] But that's why they wanted people to be scared of those woods.

Speaker 2:
[15:30] I get it, and they make sense.

Speaker 4:
[15:31] Yeah. And there's, I mean, people losing their minds about it. There's this incredible story line in Department of Truth, which is, you know, it's about a Bigfoot hunter losing his, a guy who sees a Bigfoot and then spends his entire life looking for it again and it's all told through letters to his son and it's incredible.

Speaker 5:
[15:50] It's so, I remember reading it, it was very depressing.

Speaker 4:
[15:52] It's very depressing, but I think it's one of the best comic book story lines of the last few years.

Speaker 5:
[15:57] Oh, it truly was unbelievable. To me, like, cryptids are on, like, par with the Mandela effect. As I think a lot of people who get obsessed with cryptids and proving that they're real are just like, are people who get obsessed with the Mandela effect. It's like, instead of just admitting that you were mistaken, you'll go through all these lengths. You'll go through all these crazy lengths to prove that it wasn't a hairless bear.

Speaker 2:
[16:22] But look at where we're at, honestly, even politically now. It's a way people's brains work. You have to create a way, no matter what, you have to kind of validate yourself, I think. Like, walking around, you have to validate your reality.

Speaker 4:
[16:37] You have to validate your actions.

Speaker 2:
[16:38] Yes, and you figure out why you are the way you are.

Speaker 4:
[16:41] And a lot of cryptid stories, usually, like, they start from, usually, one insane night. Especially, like, the groupings, like, when you talk about, like, the, what do you call it, the melon-headed kids?

Speaker 2:
[16:56] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, what was it, the, oh, the best ones.

Speaker 4:
[17:00] Yeah, I think it was melon-headed kids or the melon-headed boys. Basically, you get, like, a family or a group of people that are isolated for a single night, and they imagine that they're being attacked by a group.

Speaker 2:
[17:15] Pukwudgies!

Speaker 4:
[17:15] Pukwudgies, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They imagine they're attacked by a group of, or a single animal, and so they spend all night, usually, firing guns, and then they have to explain that behavior later. And it's a lot easier to say, like, oh, well, there was, it was a bigfoot, it was a monster, it was something I didn't know, rather than just, like, I got really paranoid, and my family got really paranoid, and we created something out of nothing.

Speaker 2:
[17:42] And also, I think a lot of this is-

Speaker 4:
[17:44] That's embarrassing.

Speaker 2:
[17:44] It is, and I think a lot of it also is attached to what we'd call, like, a pan theory about the entire, quote unquote, capital P phenomena. Where, like, people would also do the... I believe some people see aliens, some people see angels, some people see ghosts, some people see the Dover Demon. And they're all the same. They're, like, all the same thing. And that you are...

Speaker 5:
[18:13] Hallucinations?

Speaker 2:
[18:14] Or is it, is it, is a hallucination fake if it's in front of you? You know what I mean? Like, it's the idea of you're creating something that's kind of coming up.

Speaker 5:
[18:24] I mean, just by, it is an hallucination makes it fake.

Speaker 2:
[18:26] But yeah, unless it's physically standing in front of you.

Speaker 5:
[18:29] Well, then it's not, if it's a hallucination, then it's not standing in front of you.

Speaker 4:
[18:32] Yeah, it's not physically standing in front of you.

Speaker 2:
[18:34] Which is how powerful your reality is.

Speaker 5:
[18:37] Well, how would you categorize cryptids? Is it, like, documentary, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, comedy? Like, what is it?

Speaker 4:
[18:43] I usually, it would be sci-fi. And with a little bit of, with horror, you know, mixed into it. You can, I think any cryptid can be a horror story. Like the, what is it, the Max Brooks book, The De-Evolution. It was, it's the same author as World War Z, and Mel Brooks' son, by the way. Oh, okay. Yeah, incredible horror novelist. But he wrote it through like blog posts of, or diary entries of a woman who gets stuck on a mountain outside of Portland, I think, during a volcanic eruption. And the volcanic eruption causes, like, all the big foots in the area to kind of descend on their location. It's fucking incredible. It's really cool. But that was a horror story because, you know, they were attacked by the big foots. But then you get Harry and the Hendersons. That's comedy.

Speaker 5:
[19:39] Yeah, you just want to play with them. It's a family movie.

Speaker 4:
[19:41] Yeah, yeah. But there are others that wouldn't, you know, like, you can't really make The Jersey Devil necessarily anything other than horror. It's hard to make that other than horror.

Speaker 2:
[19:50] That's just an evil thing. Like, it's just an uncertain presence. It's a thing that you're looking at, and you don't know why it's there, and I think that's a part of the idea. It's you're seeing something that's completely alien to your understanding of your world.

Speaker 4:
[20:02] It's threatening. You know, usually they're threatening, you know, but like, but Chupacabra, like, Chupacabra really isn't that threatening.

Speaker 5:
[20:10] It just eats chickens and shit.

Speaker 4:
[20:11] Yeah, goats. I mean, that's what Chupacabra means, is goat sucker. But there's also different, there's different types. There's the Puerto Rican Chupacabra. There's the Texan Chupacabra, which are two entirely different species, or like, species, but they're considered, like the Puerto Rican Chupacabra is a little more lizard-like, and the Texas Chupacabra.

Speaker 7:
[20:30] And they have the parade.

Speaker 5:
[20:32] Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[20:34] You know, it's just like, the Puerto Rican Chupacabra just has a horn inside its chest, that it can just honk, honk, honk, honk.

Speaker 5:
[20:40] And the Texas one just has guns on its head. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[20:43] The Texas one is a dog with mange. Yeah, that's what it is. It's almost always a dog with mange.

Speaker 5:
[20:49] Are there any cryptids that you guys believe in?

Speaker 2:
[20:52] The only one that I ever come close to still to this day is Bigfoot, only just because every single culture, that especially in the United States of America, like in North America specifically, has a story of this type of thing. But I personally believe it's not anything 100% physical.

Speaker 5:
[21:13] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[21:13] I believe that there is a mixture of something that used to be there, mixed with something that we want to be there, and that we put those two together with our brains, and that we make Bigfoot ghosts real.

Speaker 4:
[21:31] Possibly.

Speaker 2:
[21:31] That's what I believe. I believe Bigfoot, I believe in Bigfoot ghosts.

Speaker 4:
[21:36] Bigfoot might also be a time, a man in a time travel suit. That's one of the things that people say about Bigfoot.

Speaker 2:
[21:43] Well, also that he's an truly, when you get enlightened.

Speaker 4:
[21:46] Yes, the psychic Bigfoot.

Speaker 2:
[21:48] Yes, the idea is that you go through, like the Himalayan Bigfoot stories, are all kind of this idea of like, once you shuffle off this existence through enlightenment, you transform into this other thing. And so they are considered to be wise, and they have like, and that's the reason why they're not entirely corporeal, and it's the reason why they hide, because they know that we are all corrupt.

Speaker 4:
[22:12] But the cryptozoologists, there are certain examples that they point to when they have to kind of justify their existence. They point towards like the giant squid. They say like, no one, like that always- Yeah, giant squid's real. Like for years, the giant squid was just a legend.

Speaker 5:
[22:29] Duckbill platypus.

Speaker 4:
[22:30] Exactly.

Speaker 2:
[22:30] Thunderbirds are probably kind of real. Condors.

Speaker 4:
[22:32] Possibly, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, possibly. And there are very possibly like massive gigantic birds that existed in the recent past. You know, there are certain animals that were just about extinct by the time we started writing shit down. And also by the time we, like humanity, started to explore every nook and cranny of the earth. Like we gotta remember, it's fairly recent that not just of humans explored every nook and cranny, but also that humans have all have the ability to all talk to each other and all gather up all of the knowledge, coalesce information, to have all of the knowledge that we have worldwide in one place. That's what, 15 years old, something like that. And that is throughout the whole of human history, that for just the last 15 years, do we have all of our knowledge in one place?

Speaker 2:
[23:29] I also believe that there's a lot more roving troops of evil little people than we want to talk about. I think that little people, if I were them, if I was a true little person, I would get together with my other little people friends and I would dress in scary outfits in the night and I would use that presence and that shock factor in order to scare little neighborhoods.

Speaker 5:
[23:51] Or you get a job.

Speaker 2:
[23:54] That's a job. And then I'd hire you. I am going to, I'm looking for my own tiny maniacs.

Speaker 5:
[24:00] We know, we know.

Speaker 2:
[24:01] But they won't, the problem with a lot of them is they die early and they have a lot of bad opinions. And most of them in America, they do, yeah, they just end up kind of, I think they just, they don't come out right.

Speaker 5:
[24:14] I think you need your own island of Dr. Moreau.

Speaker 2:
[24:18] I really do, I really do.

Speaker 4:
[24:21] The problem with that is the maniac. Is that once someone's a maniac, whether they're tiny, large, normal size, skinny, fat, it's like, I mean, fat maniac is gonna be bad. Skinny maniac's gonna be bad.

Speaker 2:
[24:31] Tiny maniac can pick up. Just like my fucking, that's why Karmie's okay. That's why I don't have to train Karmie. You're like, just pick her up.

Speaker 5:
[24:37] She's a tiny maniac.

Speaker 2:
[24:39] Tiny maniac, you just scoop her up. You can just go and you hold up and go, you put him in air jail.

Speaker 4:
[24:43] Yeah, you do.

Speaker 2:
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Speaker 2:
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Speaker 5:
[28:51] So you guys ever hear of hypertrichosis?

Speaker 2:
[28:54] That's being super hairy.

Speaker 5:
[28:55] Yeah. Do you think that that could have something to do with Bigfoot? Like someone was super hairy and they ran into the woods and someone saw him one day?

Speaker 4:
[29:01] Definitely. Yeah. I mean, well, again, you've seen Jojo the Dogface Boy, right?

Speaker 5:
[29:05] Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Speaker 4:
[29:06] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[29:06] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[29:06] Yeah. There are whenever we've talked about Bigfoot in the past, there's, there's always the stories of the wild man of the forest.

Speaker 2:
[29:17] The wild man of the wood, the wise man, man on the mountain.

Speaker 4:
[29:21] But not even, I'm not even talking about the wise man. I'm talking about the wild man. And usually like that's, that's a big American thing where I think at certain points, they did just sort of let guys go. Oh, definitely. You know, when you didn't, when they didn't, if a guy was very large and also, you know, may have, you know, had some sort of condition like the hypertrichinosis, hypertrichinosis, right?

Speaker 5:
[29:44] Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[29:45] Yeah. Like hypertrichinosis, if he was not useful, I think in many places like say, Arkansas.

Speaker 5:
[29:52] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[29:53] I think they just sort of left him in the woods at a young age. And some of these guys did survive. I mean, they survived because humans survive.

Speaker 5:
[30:00] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[30:00] They become feral. And so you have a very hairy, very large man who only knows how to go.

Speaker 2:
[30:10] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[30:10] And, and that I think is where some big foot legends in America begin.

Speaker 2:
[30:16] You know, and then America's huge, you know.

Speaker 4:
[30:20] So fucking big. Like I recently saw Alaska being put over the whole of America, and it's over half of our country.

Speaker 2:
[30:29] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[30:30] Like that's the size of just Alaska.

Speaker 2:
[30:32] And unincorporated America. Like I do think there was a lot more people living between the lines like in the United States of America. But when we were expanding West, like people were just going out there and just living. So I could see there being guys just like in a hut, in the swamp that sees you coming in with your family. And he's like, Oh, I'm gonna get their food. I'm gonna get their food. And that's what he does. And all of a sudden you have a whole like legend built because the man with hypertrichinosis who was given up by his family who now lives alone in the middle of the swamp steals her food in the middle of the night.

Speaker 4:
[31:07] Like a yogi bear. That's what they essentially become.

Speaker 2:
[31:10] But I was looking right up here. I was trying to find, you know what I find interesting? In Europe, cryptids are very different in which they use like in America. We have a lot of amorphous animals and blobs, squawks, hoedads, we don't know what the Jersey Devil is. The Dover Demon kind of looks like a thing. Thought it was a monster to look like nothing. Europe, it's all worms and dogs. Worms!

Speaker 4:
[31:38] No, worms are a big thing. I know what it means, I got a big cat too.

Speaker 2:
[31:42] Yes, the phantom cat.

Speaker 4:
[31:49] Well, there's always this, when you're looking into these sorts of things, there's a difference between cryptids and legends. Like Europe especially, and it's like Scotland is big on legends, legendary creatures.

Speaker 5:
[32:01] So like a dragon's not a cryptid?

Speaker 4:
[32:03] No, dragons, well, some people do consider a dragon a cryptid.

Speaker 2:
[32:06] I think if you think a dragon's a cryptid, you might be kind of fucking stupid. A dragon is a character in a fantasy thing, like it's a made up thing.

Speaker 5:
[32:17] But then why was it in every culture? Why were dragons like in China and also in Britain?

Speaker 2:
[32:24] Probably because they saw a fucking dinosaur skull.

Speaker 5:
[32:27] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[32:28] That is one of the big theories is that they've dug up a dinosaur skull somehow and extrapolated from there of like, what does this creature look like? Just by seeing the big fucking skull, like, okay, let's extrapolate from here. Dragons, so on and so forth. Because the big dragon in Europe, is it St. George?

Speaker 2:
[32:47] Well, yeah, it was the one that he killed the dragon.

Speaker 4:
[32:51] But yeah, dragons do exist across cultures. But yeah, it's theorized that it's most likely dinosaur bones. Okay.

Speaker 2:
[32:56] Or I also think there's a symbolic edge. If you look at old maps, like, so the idea that all of these things were, that the ocean was filled with things that were going to destroy you, they were filled with monsters and mermaids and things that were going to destroy you. And I think partially it's because the unknown is, we conjecture a lot of stuff out onto the unknown, right? In order of just the first being like, cause like with having to convince a guy to give you a bunch of money to get in a boat and just go west, right? Requires some kind of pitch, right? It requires like a thing of like, we're here, we're going to handle the sea monsters, we're going to go out there and it kind of gives you something to push against. I also think that the monsters symbolize you staying home. That's the scary outside world. This is your home. When you leave here, you go out into this other place. So here is actually where you're safe.

Speaker 4:
[33:48] Even on like the old maps they used to write, here there be monsters, beyond the map, beyond the edges of the map to keep people close.

Speaker 2:
[33:56] I also think the dragons are a poetic device. Quite often, they're used to kind of symbolize conflict and they're supposed to be like, they're used a lot in Christian symbolism and they're used in a bunch of different places where they're used as kind of like literally just kind of imagery of hassles.

Speaker 4:
[34:14] Yeah, and I also think that the legends and things like this are legends and cryptids and such as part of a product of the age of exploration. A time when Europeans especially were discovered-

Speaker 7:
[34:26] What's Chinese like?

Speaker 4:
[34:30] If you look, I love drawings of say like lions, like a guy who saw a lion once and then tried to draw it two years later and then everyone thought like, oh, that's what lions look like. And it always looks stupid. It always looks insane. It doesn't look anything like a lion. And you saw that over and over again. And especially when they started exploring Africa, when they started exploring the Americas. And they're seeing all of these animals that are nothing like anything that they've seen before. Or they might be like slightly different versions of things that they've seen before. And I think the imagination, people's imagination just fucking runs wild.

Speaker 5:
[35:09] Yeah. In Florida, they tell us that mermaids were manatees.

Speaker 2:
[35:13] And it's just been like, how horny are these fucking sailors?

Speaker 7:
[35:15] They saw a manatee and they're like, I'll make one inside of it. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[35:26] Rob just brought up a picture, an old picture of a lion and all of the... The lion has a beard and a giant tongue that's sticking out.

Speaker 5:
[35:33] Yeah. He's got a man's face for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[35:36] It's cute. They almost always have a man's face. But you also got to remember this is a time when, back in the day with art, it really cannot be overstated how much abundance has an effect on art because that guy only had enough materials to draw that lion once. You know, like he couldn't practice it over and over and over again. He couldn't just go out and buy new pencils. Like he had a very limited...

Speaker 7:
[36:01] He had very little blue. I drew the lion already. That's what he said.

Speaker 2:
[36:05] They're like, I have some notes. And he's just like, I drew the lion already.

Speaker 5:
[36:10] Yeah. So going back, I want to go back to Bigfoot because I had some more questions about that. What is the difference between a Bigfoot and a Yeti and an abominable soul man? Just where they're from. The location.

Speaker 2:
[36:19] It's all location.

Speaker 5:
[36:20] And white, right? And the snowmen are white. They blend in with that.

Speaker 4:
[36:23] Yeah, Bigfoot's like it. Yeah, Bigfoot's...

Speaker 2:
[36:25] That's how they've been depicted in cartoons.

Speaker 4:
[36:27] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[36:27] But not necessarily how they're depicted in reality.

Speaker 4:
[36:30] You know what I watched recently? The Yeti Duck Tales episode. Y'all remember that one?

Speaker 2:
[36:35] No.

Speaker 4:
[36:36] There's a... It's a horny female yeti that spends almost the entire episode trying to fuck Scrooge McDuck.

Speaker 2:
[36:44] Interesting. No one tries to fuck him. And I know.

Speaker 5:
[36:46] You figured he would settle.

Speaker 4:
[36:48] Yeah. Well, Goldie... Scrooge has a girlfriend. Goldie.

Speaker 5:
[36:52] Oh, he has a girlfriend?

Speaker 4:
[36:53] Yeah, he met her during the gold rush in the Klondike.

Speaker 5:
[36:55] Oh, I don't remember.

Speaker 4:
[36:57] Well, I'm a big...

Speaker 5:
[36:58] You're a big Duck Tales fan.

Speaker 4:
[36:59] Well, I'm just a big duck. I'm just a big duck man in general. I'm a big Donald Duck guy. I love them big Scrooge McDuck guys. Scrooge McDuck specifically. Yeah. But yeah, the Yeti... No, that's the new one, Rob. That one. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[37:13] Oh, she does have a girlfriend.

Speaker 4:
[37:15] Yeah, it's a sexy Yeti that makes sexy noises throughout, like...

Speaker 2:
[37:21] Oh, so it's Jackie.

Speaker 7:
[37:23] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[37:26] It's your sister. But yeah, Yeti and Abominable Snowman are the same... It's the... It's two different words for the same thing. It's like Bigfoot and Sasquatch.

Speaker 2:
[37:35] Yeah, just different locales, different styles.

Speaker 5:
[37:38] Gotcha. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. So I've heard Bigfoot's an alien.

Speaker 2:
[37:41] That's one.

Speaker 4:
[37:42] Possible.

Speaker 5:
[37:43] Possible.

Speaker 2:
[37:43] Sure.

Speaker 5:
[37:44] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[37:44] Why not?

Speaker 5:
[37:46] I guess it looks like Chewbacca.

Speaker 2:
[37:47] Well, you know, to the idea that he is some form of, like... You know, when you go deep into UFO lore, these things always pop up. Like, there's always... How many times I've read in an abduction scenario where a guy says, it was me, and I was there, and there was, like, three grays, and there was a tall white, and then there was a little blue guy, and there was a Bigfoot there. And they always kind of talk like this.

Speaker 5:
[38:10] So are there hairy aliens?

Speaker 2:
[38:12] No. I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 5:
[38:13] I've never heard of a hairy alien.

Speaker 4:
[38:15] If we go from the... I guess we call, like, the standard alien roster. You know, like, if you're talking, like, Pleiadians and so on and so forth.

Speaker 2:
[38:25] They're light beings. You got the tall whites that have just long hair.

Speaker 4:
[38:30] I don't think there's any, like, hair-covered alien.

Speaker 2:
[38:33] But that's just... that's limiting to this idea that... Oh, well, David Huggins... This is what I'm talking about. David Huggins has done several of these. He wrote this concept of watching a beam of light coming down and then dropping a Bigfoot there. And that's happened a lot. Like, you know, when we did the UFO Bigfoot flap of... I believe it was right outside of Pittsburgh.

Speaker 4:
[38:56] The Pennsylvania Bigfoot Flap in 1973?

Speaker 2:
[38:59] Yes, and they were all put together in one big thing. Bigfoot and UFOs are seen together a lot.

Speaker 4:
[39:05] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[39:06] I don't know.

Speaker 4:
[39:07] That is true. Often Bigfoot sightings are followed by UFO flaps or vice versa.

Speaker 5:
[39:13] We just had all those Bigfoot sightings in Ohio right after those comets were flying right over.

Speaker 2:
[39:18] It was very interesting. But also find that those guys, we found those guys that were following all the Bigfoot stuff, they were kind of attaching real Christian iconography to it. They were legitimately talking about Bigfoot as the progeny of Cain, that they are walking around with Jesus' secrets. That's kind of a thing too. There's a little bit of more Bigfoot showing up.

Speaker 5:
[39:38] But Jesus was into confession.

Speaker 2:
[39:41] No, that was not Jesus. That was all the horny men after that. Oh, good. Bigfoot might be a sign to some of these people that the end times are coming and Jesus is going to come back.

Speaker 4:
[39:52] But those people are also the types who are looking for any sort of sign of the end times. They want the end times so badly.

Speaker 8:
[40:00] Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[40:01] They literally thought Mike Huck would be doing the baseline. Is it like when he was doing that for Betanyahu's fucking birthday party or whatever. They're like, that's what we've been looking for.

Speaker 5:
[40:12] That's the end of the world.

Speaker 2:
[40:14] I knew the Bible would say what happens.

Speaker 5:
[40:18] I heard Teddy Roosevelt thinks he saw Bigfoot.

Speaker 4:
[40:21] Teddy Roosevelt had an incredible like conservation career. Like that was this whole thing was hunting and conservation. Like he wanted to, he wanted to protect nature.

Speaker 5:
[40:33] He kind of started national parks.

Speaker 4:
[40:35] Absolutely.

Speaker 5:
[40:35] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[40:36] Yeah. There is a story. Yeah. I'm remembering it where he wanted to kill it because that was the thing with Teddy Roosevelt is that like he wanted to conserve it. He wanted to conserve everything, like every animal, but he wanted to kill it first.

Speaker 2:
[40:50] This is a great little section on this. I had no idea.

Speaker 4:
[40:53] Because Teddy Roosevelt was an incredibly violent man.

Speaker 2:
[40:55] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[40:56] He kept it under control most of the time. But the whole reason why he went to Cuba and the rough riders and all that is like he wanted to kill a man.

Speaker 7:
[41:05] He was a rich boy.

Speaker 4:
[41:06] Yeah. He was a rich boy. I like all the Roosevelt to her.

Speaker 5:
[41:08] What was it? Even his biggest catchphrase, walk softly, but carry a big stick.

Speaker 7:
[41:13] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[41:14] Well, my favorite line for him is get action. That's what he wrote when he was a kid. He's like, that's what he wants is to get action because Teddy Roosevelt also, in my opinion, had extreme undiagnosed ADHD.

Speaker 2:
[41:26] Well, yeah, that's why he made the rough riders.

Speaker 7:
[41:28] Partly. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[41:29] Yeah. Because if you look, he had extreme hyper focuses like conservation, hunting, Navy. Did you know that Teddy Roosevelt was a naval historian before he held any public office at all? He wrote like this four-volume history of the United States Navy that was taught in schools for decades, a very long time.

Speaker 5:
[41:50] What a horrendous waste of time. He had more time back then. It's true.

Speaker 4:
[41:55] If you look at pictures of Teddy Roosevelt, he's always got his hand into a fist. They said that he was like a coiled snake that was always looking for something to do, always.

Speaker 5:
[42:05] My favorite is he got shot in the middle of a speech and then finished the speech.

Speaker 7:
[42:09] Yeah, he did.

Speaker 2:
[42:10] He used the original Cloutmaster. I love this, because he called it a goblin story.

Speaker 7:
[42:17] Yeah, I once listened to a goblin story, which rather impressed me.

Speaker 2:
[42:22] Uncle Isolde, weather-beaten old mountain hunter by the name of Bowman. I was born and had passed all his life on the frontier. Because he did have a high, little thing voice.

Speaker 4:
[42:29] He had a very high-pitched voice.

Speaker 5:
[42:30] So Henry said he would be willing to believe in Bigfoot. How about you, Marcus?

Speaker 4:
[42:38] My instinct tells me no.

Speaker 5:
[42:40] What would it take?

Speaker 4:
[42:41] What would it take? Scat?

Speaker 5:
[42:43] Like actual shit?

Speaker 4:
[42:44] Yeah, like shit. It would take bones, scat, any-

Speaker 5:
[42:49] We've never found bones.

Speaker 7:
[42:50] It's because they disappeared.

Speaker 5:
[42:51] That was the hardest part.

Speaker 7:
[42:52] Because they literally go back to heaven.

Speaker 4:
[42:55] It's bones. Because if you start getting into the world of Bigfoot Hunters specifically, and we talked about this many, many, many years ago. If you get into Bigfoot, get ready to read about Dermal Ridges constantly. Because that's what these guys always point towards when they- Because the only thing we've ever found with Bigfoot ostensibly is footprints. Yeah. And so they always, they talk about-

Speaker 5:
[43:20] It's always like one footprint.

Speaker 4:
[43:22] Yeah. It's like one footprint.

Speaker 5:
[43:23] That doesn't make any sense to me.

Speaker 4:
[43:24] Doesn't make any sense at all. And they'd say like, if you look at the Dermal Ridges, you can see that this is actually, if it was a biological creature, then you could see that this is sort of a Dermal Ridge.

Speaker 2:
[43:35] And it must be at least 400 pounds.

Speaker 4:
[43:37] At least, yeah. They do that over and over again. But yeah, it would take, like, yeah, I don't need a picture. I don't need a video. I need the evidence that we would have for every other animal that we know exists on Earth, which is bones and shit.

Speaker 2:
[43:54] Well, because the main issue is we're also saying, like, where do they eat? You know, like, a large 450-pound animal, a pack of 450-pound, eight-foot animals are going to eat a lot of food.

Speaker 5:
[44:07] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[44:07] Where's all the fucking examples of the food that they're eating? Where's all the trees cleared out?

Speaker 5:
[44:13] Like, we've seen starving bears, like, search for into the middle of the ocean, even.

Speaker 2:
[44:18] You would see the trees cleared out, right? You'd see an area, you'd see a bunch, like, you'd see more of that. You'd see more like, oh, they must all get together and feed, or they all do this thing, they eat this thing. You could tell that they're going through the woods.

Speaker 4:
[44:30] The migration area for a pack of Sasquatches would be massive. We would know about the migration of the Bigfoots from one location to the other. There's no way that they could just stay in one location.

Speaker 2:
[44:46] And then what I view is, unfortunately, and I'm saying it's my solution, but I also understand that it's a cop-out to many people. But that's why I believe we're seeing something, when people are doing and talking about cryptids, we're talking about something past an animal, past an idea of it. And I honestly don't think that everybody's lying.

Speaker 4:
[45:06] My opinion is that if cryptids are, if Bigfoot's real, the Jersey Devil's real, if Chupacabras are real, then that will change the entire nature of reality. Like the way we see reality, the way we experience it, the way we think reality works, as far as dimensions and so on and so forth, it's completely different from what we think. So that's kind of what it would take. It's like, okay, show me, like, prove M-theory to me. You know, prove that there's, that we can, that creatures can cross dimensions, that biological entities can cross dimensions. Prove that, and then maybe we can talk about Bigfoot. But until then, it's a nice idea. It's a fun idea. Like, they're very fun. Like, Cryptids are very fun. It's a very fun idea.

Speaker 2:
[45:54] That's kind of why we wanted to talk about it, is because it's something nice. It feels very hopeful. I think people love Cryptids because it is this, it is a way into another world. It feels like you're talking about a fun fantasy world that you want to exist. Much like how, but I also feel like it's the same people that actually follow Q, right? It's the same thing, where it's like, that's all they're really looking for, is something that's past them. Something that makes them feel like life is a little bit more exciting, a little bit more involved. But I feel like more people need to know that it's fucking all in here. It's in the center of our brains.

Speaker 4:
[46:31] Yeah, I think the difference between cryptid believers and Q believers is that, I think Q believers are looking for a narrative to life, and they're looking to be a part of a narrative and a part of a story and a part of a game.

Speaker 2:
[46:42] And they can join.

Speaker 5:
[46:43] I think they're also looking for a reason why their lives are so bad.

Speaker 4:
[46:46] Of course, that's also, well, that's the base motivation for looking for that narrative, for looking for that story. And it also, it's a lot, like we're all so, you know, brained into wanting to be a part of entertainment. You know, Q was the perfect entry point for that. I think people who are in the cryptids, that are really in the cryptids, it's more of an environmental thing rather than a story thing. Like, they just want the world in general to be a little bit more magical than it actually is, or that we actually know it to be. I wouldn't say that it actually is, but as we know it to be, they want to be a little bit more magical, like they want to be able to go out into a forest and maybe something will happen. Maybe something will happen, maybe there's more to this world than we see. I do understand, I now see as a man who is now 43 years old, I see why most cryptid hunters are older. I see why they're in their 40s and 50s.

Speaker 2:
[47:47] It's for retirement times too.

Speaker 5:
[47:50] You've also accomplished very little in your life. You're trying to find that one thing that's going to make you, break you.

Speaker 4:
[47:56] There are some cryptid hunters that are incredibly successful people, that have spent their entire-

Speaker 7:
[48:02] Gave up their actual careers to do it.

Speaker 4:
[48:04] Yeah, gave up their careers. Because I think as you get older, you look around at the world and you have so much experience being in the world, that you see, like, shit, all right, this is all there is. And I think some people might replace religion with cryptids.

Speaker 2:
[48:25] It's literally exactly what I was like. It sounds like you go to look for God, you don't find God.

Speaker 4:
[48:31] No.

Speaker 2:
[48:32] And so what you want to do is have a thing that you can aspire to that's bigger than you, and Bigfoot's right there. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[48:42] And it's here on Earth and there's a possibility that you might see it without having to die. You know, because none of us want to die. So if Bigfoot is real, if Chupacabra is real, you already like spending time in the woods. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And that also might be a part of it as well, is that it just you love spending time in the woods, you love exploring, and this just sort of gives you a goal. It gives you something to do out there.

Speaker 5:
[49:07] Oh, yeah. Yeah, because you're not going to hunt.

Speaker 4:
[49:10] Yeah, exactly. Because you're not going to hunt. That's the thing, is that very, very few cryptid hunters are actual hunters.

Speaker 2:
[49:18] Well, they don't want to kill it.

Speaker 4:
[49:19] Yeah. Well, actually, I read a little back and forth of that the other day. Someone asking, is there a way to hunt without killing something, without hurting something, because I want the sport, but I don't want to hurt anything. It's like, yeah, it's called wildlife photography. Yeah. Yeah. It's like that. That's.

Speaker 2:
[49:39] But I also want to fire a gun.

Speaker 4:
[49:41] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[49:41] So all you have to do is take a picture, shoot a bullet in the air. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[49:45] Yeah. That's it. That's all you have to do.

Speaker 5:
[49:46] I like bird watching. Bird watching is like, it's not something I've gotten into yet, because, you know, I haven't, I haven't gone. I want.

Speaker 2:
[49:53] Well, you still have too many things to do.

Speaker 5:
[49:55] That's the thing. You need a lot of less things to do. Yes. But what I love about bird watching is that like, how popular it is, and it's still just like all on the honor system.

Speaker 4:
[50:05] Always.

Speaker 2:
[50:06] You know, they talk about that too, that there are so many, there are scandals within the bird watching community.

Speaker 4:
[50:12] Huge.

Speaker 2:
[50:13] Of people being like, yeah, I saw that warbler.

Speaker 4:
[50:17] When we were in New York, there was that massive thing where someone said they saw a certain bird in Central Park, or they saw it on a building or something. And there was a huge scandal. It's like, are they telling the truth? Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[50:32] I mean, like they would have to be, and they were all like, I think that they ripped them apart. They were like, there's no way that bird would have been here, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 7:
[50:37] We don't know how it got here.

Speaker 2:
[50:38] It's never been seen here before.

Speaker 4:
[50:39] Caused a big schism in the bird watching community. I think there was a whole like half an episode of How To with John Wilson.

Speaker 2:
[50:45] How bird watching biggest record threw its online community into chaos.

Speaker 7:
[50:49] Yes, that's right.

Speaker 2:
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Speaker 5:
[53:41] Fly from your grave. All right. So speaking of things that can fly, Mothman, don't know much about the Mothman. Unfortunately missed the episode. I'm sorry. Fuck you. So here's what I know about Mothman and like help me fill in some blanks when I'm done. I know that Mothman is from West Virginia. I know that...

Speaker 2:
[54:02] Well, at least he, that's where he hung. He hangs out. Okay.

Speaker 5:
[54:04] And I know that Mothman has red eyes can fly.

Speaker 2:
[54:08] Yep.

Speaker 5:
[54:08] You're right. It has attacked some cars and destroyed a bridge in the 60s.

Speaker 2:
[54:13] It did not destroy the bridge. It was warning them that the bridge was going to collapse.

Speaker 5:
[54:17] Okay. Okay.

Speaker 4:
[54:18] All right. All right. It showed up just before the bridge and a lot of... That's why people see the Mothman as a portent of doom. As if the Mothman shows up, something bad is going to happen because the bridge collapse was quite tragic. What, like 50 people died or 100? Like it was right in the middle of...

Speaker 5:
[54:35] So the Mothman's good.

Speaker 4:
[54:37] That's what some people say.

Speaker 2:
[54:38] Yes, he's scary, but he's a harbinger of doom, but that's good for us.

Speaker 4:
[54:43] Yeah, we actually did have an idea for a Mothman story for a while that the Mothman over the years was just depressed because he didn't stop Oklahoma City.

Speaker 7:
[54:53] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[54:54] Didn't stop 9-Eleven.

Speaker 2:
[54:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7:
[54:56] We had all these things where we were going to try to warn people over and over again.

Speaker 2:
[55:01] We know when we fucking believe them.

Speaker 5:
[55:02] So is there more than one Mothman?

Speaker 2:
[55:05] No.

Speaker 4:
[55:05] No. Mothman is, that's a big cryptid thing, is that there are certain cryptids that are singular, like Mothman, Jersey Devil.

Speaker 5:
[55:14] Oh, there's only one Jersey Devil?

Speaker 4:
[55:15] There's only one. Yeah, there's only one Jersey Devil.

Speaker 5:
[55:18] Oh, I thought there was a bunch of Jersey Devils.

Speaker 2:
[55:20] No.

Speaker 4:
[55:20] No, no, no.

Speaker 5:
[55:20] Trooper Coppers was a bunch.

Speaker 4:
[55:21] Trooper Coppers, there's a bunch.

Speaker 2:
[55:23] Trooper Copper is a type. Bigfoot is a type.

Speaker 5:
[55:25] Is it Bigfoots or Bigfeet, by the way?

Speaker 4:
[55:27] Bigfoots.

Speaker 5:
[55:27] Bigfoots, okay, so Bigfoots, there's...

Speaker 2:
[55:29] Don't you fucking get it wrong for a second, you fucking bastard.

Speaker 5:
[55:32] This is why I don't care. So there's only one Mothman. Did the Mothman kill people?

Speaker 4:
[55:41] No.

Speaker 2:
[55:42] No.

Speaker 5:
[55:42] From what I remembered, the Mothman killed people inside of cars.

Speaker 4:
[55:45] No, he scared people.

Speaker 5:
[55:46] Scared people.

Speaker 2:
[55:47] To get them away from the dynamite fields.

Speaker 5:
[55:49] To get them away from the dynamite fields.

Speaker 2:
[55:50] Where the weed was, where all those gangsters were.

Speaker 1:
[55:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[55:54] As far as I know, I don't think there's really a cryptid who has a body count, from what I remember.

Speaker 2:
[56:00] Let me see this. Let me look that up. Actually, that is interesting.

Speaker 5:
[56:02] Yeah, not that I know of. I'm trying to figure that out.

Speaker 2:
[56:05] That's kind of the problem with cryptids is that no one's ever touched one. Okay, for Halloween, here's the list of cryptids that have allegedly killed people. All right, so here we go. A giant jellyfish.

Speaker 5:
[56:18] Well, yeah, that would have happened.

Speaker 2:
[56:19] The Black Panther.

Speaker 5:
[56:20] Yeah, that's a real animal.

Speaker 2:
[56:22] Yeah, Mongolian Death Worm.

Speaker 5:
[56:24] That's what the thing in Doom is based off of.

Speaker 2:
[56:26] I don't know.

Speaker 4:
[56:27] Yeah, Mongolian Death Worm is a... That's a whole other can of worms.

Speaker 2:
[56:31] People here, the Jabba Joffi, the Mengua, the Dobhar 2, the Cave Cow.

Speaker 4:
[56:40] I mean, that's the thing is once you start going worldwide with cryptids, like it starts getting really weird and really, really insane. African cryptids are really interesting.

Speaker 2:
[56:51] Also, in Japan, they have that whole world of like demons and little animals and shit from like all that stuff. So fascinating. And we were going to do an episode on those, but you're just listing things.

Speaker 4:
[57:01] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[57:01] That's like the problem with that. It was just like, and this thing, it looks like this, and it does this. Yeah, it looks like this. It does that.

Speaker 5:
[57:07] So the bridge did collapse, though.

Speaker 4:
[57:09] Oh, God, yes. Yeah, it was December. It was during, it was right before Christmas.

Speaker 5:
[57:14] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[57:15] And a lot of people were on this bridge and they just started hearing horrible noises and the whole fucking thing just, and it was a bad, bad traffic. So the entire bridge was filled with cars from beginning to end.

Speaker 5:
[57:28] So people like the Mothman. They're not scared of the Mothman.

Speaker 4:
[57:32] They were scared at the time, but he has since become such a, he's become like such a kind of character.

Speaker 2:
[57:39] He's the ICP of Cryptids.

Speaker 1:
[57:41] Yeah, you know, he started scared.

Speaker 5:
[57:42] When he started, he was very popular. When I was a kid, Lockness and Bigfoot were the most popular. Now I feel like Mothman might be the most popular.

Speaker 4:
[57:49] Yeah, I think Bigfoot's still up there. Lockness has got totally fallen out of favor as far as the kids go. But I think Mothman, as far as American Cryptids go, yeah, yeah, Mothman definitely gets one of the top spots.

Speaker 1:
[58:05] Whoa, look at this.

Speaker 2:
[58:06] So I just found this. The Beast of Gauvaudin, the Betty de Gauvaudin. This is from the 1760s in South Central France. It is a bunch of beasts, right? They somehow say they're somewhere between a lion, a hyena, a wolf, and a wolf dog that killed a bunch of people in France.

Speaker 5:
[58:28] No.

Speaker 7:
[58:28] They say this is real.

Speaker 4:
[58:30] Yeah, there's been...

Speaker 2:
[58:31] It's France.

Speaker 5:
[58:32] I think, yeah, there could be big dogs that kill people in France.

Speaker 4:
[58:35] Yeah, we covered this once.

Speaker 7:
[58:36] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[58:36] Yeah, Gauvaudin.

Speaker 2:
[58:37] Yeah, yeah, Gauvaudin.

Speaker 4:
[58:39] Yeah, it's a big...

Speaker 2:
[58:40] The Betty de Gauvaudin.

Speaker 4:
[58:42] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[58:42] It's a wolf.

Speaker 4:
[58:43] It's a horrible creature.

Speaker 2:
[58:44] I think it's a wolf, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[58:45] Yeah, it might be a gigantic wolf.

Speaker 2:
[58:47] Yeah, despite the general consensus that the beef was a wolf or other wild canids, several alternative theories for its identity have been proposed. I'm thinking it was a subadult male lion.

Speaker 4:
[58:56] Okay. Yeah. Because, you know, there were lions in England.

Speaker 2:
[58:59] Yeah, they brought them in.

Speaker 5:
[58:59] Yeah, they get loose and they start fucking.

Speaker 4:
[59:02] Yep, that's true. And I mean, really, I mean, you can see how cryptids get... Like, my dad created a cryptid when we were kids. Yeah, it was like, he called it the Guy-Anthor. He said it had the head of a mountain lion on one end and the head of, I think, a lion on the other. And he said, watch out for the Guy-Anthor because it was so mean, because it couldn't take a shit. Because it just ate and ate and ate. But because it had a head on each end, it was so angry because it could never take a shit.

Speaker 2:
[59:36] Your dad didn't even know that he was literally creative.

Speaker 4:
[59:39] Yeah, you know, he's an incredibly creative man. But yeah, but yeah, that was a story that he told us when we were kids. So you can see how cryptids get created everywhere.

Speaker 2:
[59:51] Dude, this is a fucking weird one. What is this? It's called the Treque Wekufi, right? The Treque Wekufu, it's a meter. It's from the Puche mythology from southern Chile in Argentina. It is a moving piece.

Speaker 4:
[60:03] Could you say Argentina?

Speaker 2:
[60:04] Argentina. Argentina. It is a moving piece of leather that goes through the water and attacks people. Huh.

Speaker 7:
[60:15] Interesting. The Treque Wekufu. That's cool.

Speaker 4:
[60:21] That sounds more like a ghost or like a demon.

Speaker 2:
[60:22] Yeah, that's what it says, is a demon.

Speaker 4:
[60:24] Yeah, yeah, because that is another thing too. Is it demons, cryptids, like that, those sort of area, those areas can touch tips. There's plenty of people that say that cryptids are demons, plenty of people that say that aliens are demons.

Speaker 5:
[60:36] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[60:37] Like, for example, our generals, and our vice president recently said that he thinks aliens are demons.

Speaker 2:
[60:43] And that fat should probably keep his mouth shut before the Pope has been killed.

Speaker 7:
[60:46] Well, don't fuck with the Pope.

Speaker 5:
[60:51] Is that what a Wendigo is?

Speaker 4:
[60:53] No, a Wendigo is a Native American creature that's closer to a Bigfoot, or closer, yeah, it's a Canadian, I think it was a Canadian tribe that had the legend of the Wendigo.

Speaker 2:
[61:07] Yeah, and honestly, that seems a lot more, there's a lot of things attached to the Wendigo.

Speaker 4:
[61:12] Yeah, and there are a lot of...

Speaker 2:
[61:13] Like skinwalkers.

Speaker 4:
[61:14] There are a lot of really violent legends surrounding the Wendigo. Like, that is actually one creature that has actually had a couple of deaths attached to it, from what I remember.

Speaker 2:
[61:24] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[61:25] Now, you mentioned skinwalkers. Are they cryptids?

Speaker 2:
[61:28] No.

Speaker 5:
[61:29] They're aliens.

Speaker 2:
[61:30] No.

Speaker 5:
[61:30] What are they?

Speaker 2:
[61:31] They are evil, dark magic witches from the tribes people that have used dark rituals.

Speaker 7:
[61:40] The Paiute tribe.

Speaker 2:
[61:41] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[61:42] Paiutes, right?

Speaker 2:
[61:42] They became... They could turn into an animal after committing an atrocity. They had to do something horrible in a ritual in order to gain this ability to use an animal hide to turn into an animal. Okay. And so that's kind of what they're... That's one explanation for them. And that's kind of why they're also supposed to not... You're not supposed to talk about them.

Speaker 4:
[62:02] Navajo, that's what it is.

Speaker 5:
[62:03] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[62:03] They are not... You're not supposed to talk about them because they bring you bad luck.

Speaker 5:
[62:07] Oh, okay. Well, here goes that.

Speaker 7:
[62:09] You're not Native American.

Speaker 2:
[62:11] I don't think it counts if you're not Native American.

Speaker 5:
[62:13] So, Skinwalker Ranch, does that... Are they... Is it just the name of the ranch?

Speaker 2:
[62:18] So, it ended up getting that name. It was not actually called the name. It got that name because of all the writings about it. The reason why Skinwalkers were even talked about on that ranch was because it was in this place called the Uinta Basin, which is this, like, historic, kind of, like, essentially no-man's land for these various different tribes. So, we're all like, we don't go in there. Spooky shit happens in there. And it's always been like that. And so, all of a sudden, a bunch of white people showed up, carved up the land, right? They now live in the bottom of this Uinta Basin, which they're all scared to go into, because they say that's where the Skinwalkers walk back and forth. Skinwalker Ranch, I believe, was the title that Knapp gave it, George Knapp gave it, and that it went from there. But the Skinwalkers were supposed to sort of walk in this area, which is the things they saw, the giant dogs that they couldn't kill, the things that were in the sky.

Speaker 4:
[63:06] Sponko the Everything Dog. Yeah.

Speaker 7:
[63:08] Who's that?

Speaker 2:
[63:09] Sponko, the Everything Dog.

Speaker 7:
[63:12] He's got everything.

Speaker 2:
[63:13] He's got all these different parts.

Speaker 4:
[63:15] Yeah. It was a creature that... Was it the Gorman family? Yeah. The Gorman family were the ones who brought the Skinwalker legend, like, just... Because they brought the Skinwalker legend to life. You know, they were the ones that all the weird shit happened to. And there was a dog that they saw on occasion that seemed to be in and out, like, phasing in and out of reality. And that's... A lot of the ideas of cryptids phasing in and out of reality, I think a lot of that comes from Skinwalker Ranch. Like, it's like, that's where that idea kind of came from, because there was so many strange things going on, and some... There's some measurable stuff going on at Skinwalker Ranch.

Speaker 2:
[63:59] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[63:59] The cattle mutilations are the only thing that I can't, like, wrap my head around.

Speaker 2:
[64:03] And also the cattle, like, when they all were transported into that little shed, it didn't make any sense, and then there was another... There's a bunch of weird stuff. I still... What we're saying here, though, is that reality is a lot more difficult to pin down than we want it to be.

Speaker 5:
[64:18] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[64:18] And I think that the more isolated you are and the deeper you go into places like the desert and the forest and these liminal spaces in between our consciousness, that's where weird stuff happens.

Speaker 5:
[64:30] So, I know we're not talking about aliens, but we talked about it for two seconds. I want to, Skinwalker Ranch, the cattle mutilations and the note, so they would find the cattle from the docs that I've seen. They would find cattle with no footsteps around the cattle, totally drained of blood.

Speaker 2:
[64:47] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[64:48] This happened.

Speaker 2:
[64:49] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[64:50] And there's no explanation, right?

Speaker 2:
[64:52] According to that, yeah, we don't know. They'll always say animals. Everyone will always say animals.

Speaker 5:
[64:57] But there would be some kind of track.

Speaker 2:
[64:59] You'd think.

Speaker 4:
[64:59] Yeah, you'd think. But we don't know. And it's been happening for decades upon decades. Oh, no. All over the country.

Speaker 2:
[65:06] And dude, just fucking happened. We just had a whole flap of cattle mutilations in Oregon. There was one in Arizona. It's like, it happens, interestingly enough, and we don't quite know what it is. They everyone will always say it's wildlife, it's wolves, it's stuff like that. But it is very interesting.

Speaker 5:
[65:22] Yeah, it can't be wolves because they're not actually eating the animal. It's just sucking all the blood out of it.

Speaker 2:
[65:28] And there's like, their reproductive areas are carved out. They talk about their buttholes getting carved out.

Speaker 5:
[65:34] They talk about their faces. And it looks like someone took like a laser to it, right?

Speaker 4:
[65:37] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[65:38] It's weird. Who fucking knows?

Speaker 4:
[65:39] I don't know. I've seen coyotes go pretty hardcore on the butthole of a dead cow.

Speaker 2:
[65:43] I think that there is a wide possibility that animals can do a lot of it. And there's very little of it that is unexplained. But there are a couple of instances. I think Skinwalker Ranch is one, where it's super fucking weird.

Speaker 4:
[65:58] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[65:59] Loch Ness Monster.

Speaker 4:
[66:01] Not real.

Speaker 5:
[66:02] Not real.

Speaker 2:
[66:02] Ghost of a dinosaur.

Speaker 5:
[66:03] You think it's a ghost of a dinosaur? That makes as much sense as anything else I've heard.

Speaker 2:
[66:09] I think it's a ghost of a dinosaur.

Speaker 5:
[66:10] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[66:11] And I think that...

Speaker 5:
[66:12] A lot of people have... I feel like Loch Ness Monster might have some of the most sightings.

Speaker 2:
[66:17] There's been so many different sea monsters. There's so many that have been seen over the years. I usually think of what happened with Loch Ness is the fact that Alastair Crowley lived there. Oh, okay.

Speaker 4:
[66:27] That helped a lot.

Speaker 2:
[66:28] I think whatever happened there happened because of Alastair Crowley and whatever he was doing. But again, I still think it's just thought forms.

Speaker 4:
[66:37] Yeah. But you have a photo of the Loch Ness, the so-called surgeon's photo, which is of course fake.

Speaker 2:
[66:43] He's a gynecologist.

Speaker 4:
[66:44] Yeah. And I think Loch Ness... It's the plesiosaur thing. The idea is that there's some sort of underground, underwater, not underground, but underwater tunnel leading from the ocean to Loch Ness and the plesiosaur has come in and out of Loch Ness through that underground tunnel that's never been found.

Speaker 5:
[67:06] Is it saltwater?

Speaker 4:
[67:08] No. Oh. But there's also, what do you call it? There's Champ up in Lake Champlain.

Speaker 5:
[67:15] Yeah. There's a couple other ones.

Speaker 4:
[67:16] There's Ogopogo.

Speaker 2:
[67:17] Yeah, Ogopogo.

Speaker 4:
[67:19] Yeah. The secret, like, or the lake creature is a, it's a fairly common, it's a fairly common cryptid, which is why some people say like, well, that's, it's a plesiosaur, but I don't think so.

Speaker 2:
[67:33] They went looking for it, and it's too big. They can't fucking find it. You know, who fucking knows? I think that the sea is extremely mysterious.

Speaker 5:
[67:39] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[67:40] It's extremely mysterious.

Speaker 5:
[67:41] But the lock is a lock.

Speaker 2:
[67:43] Yes. Yeah. I don't think there's that much to it, unfortunately.

Speaker 4:
[67:47] It just means, like.

Speaker 5:
[67:49] Yeah. Montauk Monster. That was a thing.

Speaker 2:
[67:53] That was just a raccoon that was found.

Speaker 5:
[67:54] And it was a raccoon?

Speaker 2:
[67:55] Yes, it was.

Speaker 5:
[67:56] Because I've heard other things.

Speaker 2:
[67:57] No, it's not. No, it was a raccoon.

Speaker 5:
[67:58] It was definitely a raccoon.

Speaker 2:
[67:59] Yes, it was.

Speaker 5:
[68:00] Just hairless.

Speaker 2:
[68:00] Yep. And it was decayed.

Speaker 5:
[68:03] Did it have, like, alopecia?

Speaker 2:
[68:04] No, the hair had fallen off of it.

Speaker 5:
[68:06] Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy. Because it was small.

Speaker 4:
[68:10] Yes.

Speaker 5:
[68:10] They called it a monster, but it was tiny.

Speaker 2:
[68:12] Yes, it was small.

Speaker 5:
[68:13] Yeah, because they only showed us the picture with no...

Speaker 2:
[68:15] Yeah, you just drew it like, what was the Montauk Monster?

Speaker 4:
[68:20] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[68:20] And it just, like, drew it standing up.

Speaker 5:
[68:22] That's the dumbest thing. And there's never been another thing that looked like it, right?

Speaker 2:
[68:25] It did not look like that.

Speaker 4:
[68:25] Yeah. It could also have been some sort of, like, taxidermy project. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[68:31] We just kind of left there.

Speaker 2:
[68:32] The thing we know what it wants to talk about with that stuff is how they might have, what's this putz got leaked from there, that we wanted to do a whole episode series.

Speaker 4:
[68:41] Plum Island?

Speaker 2:
[68:41] We're going to talk about Plum Island eventually, the idea of, like, essentially...

Speaker 5:
[68:45] That is the island of Dr. Moreau, right?

Speaker 2:
[68:48] Kind of, but it's that Lyme disease was accidentally released. Like, there's this idea that Lyme disease was worked on as a thing and that it became leaked from Plum Island.

Speaker 5:
[69:01] But ticks have been around for eons.

Speaker 4:
[69:04] But ticks are how they spread it. Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[69:06] Oh, okay. I see, I see, I see, I see. Well, I mean... So, the only thing... So, if something is extinct, all right, and it can become a cryptid, like the Tasmanian tiger...

Speaker 2:
[69:20] I actually do think that that's true, is that we will see those. I can guarantee you, we will see a hundred years from now when something goes... Things that we see walking around regularly now could end up being cryptids later.

Speaker 5:
[69:30] OK, so if a Tasmanian tiger was found, that's just proof that it didn't go extinct.

Speaker 2:
[69:38] Yes, that's just science.

Speaker 5:
[69:38] It's not like someone found a cryptid. No, no.

Speaker 2:
[69:40] That's just science.

Speaker 5:
[69:41] No, it's like talking. It's like, hey, how are you doing?

Speaker 2:
[69:50] You know, I, again.

Speaker 4:
[69:51] Well, by definition, once a creature is discovered, it is no longer a cryptid. Because it then becomes part of zoology, because you have the body, and you have biology behind it. So once, yeah, once it's discovered, it's out of the, it's now a part of the record.

Speaker 5:
[70:09] Which, now, I'd like to close with a nice friendly question.

Speaker 2:
[70:13] Oh.

Speaker 5:
[70:14] What's your favorite cryptid?

Speaker 4:
[70:16] Oh, well, I've always got a soft spot for the Chupacabra.

Speaker 5:
[70:19] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[70:19] I love the Chupacabra.

Speaker 5:
[70:20] Yeah, he's adorable. All he does is trying to eat chicken and sheep. Who's hurting?

Speaker 4:
[70:25] Goats, you know. He's just running around, a little mischievous. And he could be real. There might be something out there. There might be some weird shit out there. I don't know. I always like the Chupacabra.

Speaker 2:
[70:36] Honestly, now that I'm looking at this, because I'm looking at this list, man, I haven't thought of Puckwudgies in a long time.

Speaker 4:
[70:43] Puckwudgies are great.

Speaker 2:
[70:44] I love the Puckwudgies.

Speaker 4:
[70:45] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[70:45] Because they're fun.

Speaker 5:
[70:46] You would like a Puckwudgie. I want to hang out with them.

Speaker 2:
[70:49] I want to fucking hire them. I want to cast them. I want to put them on the network.

Speaker 4:
[70:56] I also love the Melonheads. Yeah. I like the Melonheads. What's the difference? Well, Melonheads, it was a Connecticut thing and a Michigan thing. There's a theory that a bunch of children with hydrocephaly, gigantic heads, water babies, escape from a mental asylum.

Speaker 5:
[71:22] Oh, my God.

Speaker 4:
[71:25] And bothered somebody one night. I can't remember what the full story of the Melonheads is, but I just love that idea that it could just be humans, but humans that are differently abled.

Speaker 2:
[71:38] See, you notice nobody's going after these guys though. There's no Melonhead hunters, there's no Pukwudgie hunters, and I feel like that's where we could really fill the gap. And we can get in there, look for Pukwudgies. We just gotta call somebody a Melonhead.

Speaker 5:
[71:52] I mean, you start with it, I think some good old-fashioned Vietnam War traps.

Speaker 2:
[71:59] You're right, yes. Tagging traps, yeah. Dig out some rough, dig out some stuff, put some palm leaves on top and put leaves on top of the hole.

Speaker 4:
[72:09] But what I really love is, personally, I am obsessed and have been since I was a child, obsessed with circus freaks. People like Jojo the Dogface Boy, Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man, the Crab Boy, all of these people that could have been considered, it's very possible that some of the legends of Cryptids may have come from people that-

Speaker 5:
[72:37] Just deformed people?

Speaker 4:
[72:38] Yeah. People who were deformed in one way or another. But those people and those careers I'm obsessed with. That's the stuff that I really love because it's real, it's people and their stories are always so human. Sometimes very funny and sometimes tragic.

Speaker 2:
[72:53] Also what I like about freak show stories and that kind of thing, is the examples of people doing the best with what they got. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[73:00] Like Zip, the What Is It? That was a guy, Zippy the Pinhead was based on this guy. I think it was hydrocephaly that his, what do you call it? Microcephalic. That's what it was. He had microcephalic.

Speaker 2:
[73:20] So yeah, he had tiny head.

Speaker 4:
[73:21] He had tiny head and he was billed as like he's the missing link, he's this, he's that, a lot of super racist stuff. But at the very end of his life, his last words to his sister, it's like he suddenly snapped out of it and he said, we sure fooled him for a long time, didn't we? Yeah, he just, he knew his entire life what he was doing. He was taking advantage of, he was playing everybody his entire life. That's wild.

Speaker 2:
[73:55] You know who's kind of like that a little bit because like the closest we have right now, to be honest and analog to this, is what Howard Sturden's Whack Pack, Beetlejuice.

Speaker 4:
[74:03] Sure, yeah, you know, Beetlejuice, because Beetlejuice also has microcephaly.

Speaker 2:
[74:06] And he does a thing where you could see some of it is not on purpose, but actually quite a bit is. You start to realize, like there's like one thing I was like watching, I was like, did Beetle just break persona? Like earlier on, like Beetle's way more like cognizant. Like, and then he kind of homerizes himself. He flanderizes himself, he had to do a lot of alcohol. He was having fun.

Speaker 4:
[74:32] Well, he also probably learned as time went on. He learned how to adapt. And that's what I love about the freak show, like the freak stories that so much of it is about adaptation and doing the best with what you got and figuring out how to survive. Because a lot of those people 10 years before would have just been, had their head smashed in as soon as they were born.

Speaker 5:
[74:51] Yeah, unfortunately.

Speaker 7:
[74:53] And then capitalism figured out what to do with them.

Speaker 2:
[74:55] No, thank you, capitalism. One more time, you saved a bunch of pinheads.

Speaker 4:
[75:01] Thank you, PT. Barnum. You only owned one slave.

Speaker 7:
[75:04] That's all.

Speaker 5:
[75:05] That's it. That's it.

Speaker 2:
[75:07] You can get a mulligan for that.

Speaker 4:
[75:08] Yeah, it was George Washington's nanny.

Speaker 7:
[75:12] Oh, really?

Speaker 4:
[75:13] He said he claimed that, yeah, he, you know.

Speaker 2:
[75:17] Then we talk about the Human Zoos.

Speaker 4:
[75:18] Yeah, we talk about the Human Zoos. Yeah, he purchased a woman. And so then she would tell stories in his American Museum of like, you know, Master George when he was a small boy and so on and so forth. But he also owned her.

Speaker 5:
[75:31] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[75:32] Yeah.

Speaker 5:
[75:33] Yeah, it does. It also doesn't make sense numbers wise.

Speaker 4:
[75:37] Well, she was said to be one hundred and twenty years old. She was incredibly old.

Speaker 2:
[75:41] She was just an old woman.

Speaker 4:
[75:43] Very, very old woman with a really active imagination.

Speaker 5:
[75:46] He wouldn't pay her, huh?

Speaker 4:
[75:48] No, he did not. I think he did actually. I think he did. No, she did not. He did not give her freedom because she died because she was so old.

Speaker 2:
[75:55] But is that not the most free you can be?

Speaker 4:
[76:00] Yeah, isn't death the ultimate freedom?

Speaker 2:
[76:02] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[76:02] Or cryptid hunting. Either way, seeing the world is a little bit more, a little bit more special than what we thought it to be.

Speaker 5:
[76:08] Well, this was nice, fellas. Thank you. I feel smarter and dumber.

Speaker 4:
[76:11] Yeah, that's cryptids.

Speaker 2:
[76:15] It's kind of amazing how long we could talk about them. Yeah. And how much you actually know in the end.

Speaker 5:
[76:21] I do like the squonk because of how sad he is.

Speaker 2:
[76:23] We all do. Everybody likes the squonk.

Speaker 5:
[76:25] I should like the skunk ape because he's Florida, but it doesn't mean nothing to me.

Speaker 2:
[76:29] It shouldn't.

Speaker 4:
[76:30] He just smells real bad.

Speaker 5:
[76:31] Yeah. That's just the water.

Speaker 4:
[76:35] I have a liking for Chupacabra being from Texas. You always heard about, the Chupacabra was the cryptid that I heard about growing up besides the guy in there.

Speaker 5:
[76:41] Does Texas have other ones?

Speaker 4:
[76:44] If I'm thinking.

Speaker 5:
[76:45] I feel like Florida only has the one cryptid, kind of, because everything can just live there anyway.

Speaker 2:
[76:50] Yeah. It's like literally filled with dangerous animals. Why do you need cryptids? Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[76:54] I mean, and hell, Texas is actually filled with, they had a lot of big cats. They're still on the family ranch back home. Every once in a while, someone will still see like a panther out there, because Texas used to be full of panthers.

Speaker 5:
[77:10] Really?

Speaker 4:
[77:10] Yeah, big cats.

Speaker 5:
[77:11] There's probably a couple left.

Speaker 2:
[77:12] Now, most of the cougars are more around downtown Austin.

Speaker 5:
[77:15] Yes, they are.

Speaker 2:
[77:16] From what I have seen, what I have saw with my own two little cougar hunting eyes.

Speaker 4:
[77:20] No, if there's a cougar town in Texas, it's San Antonio.

Speaker 2:
[77:24] Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5:
[77:25] All right, fellas. Thank you so much for this. This was good. I feel better now.

Speaker 8:
[77:30] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[77:30] And then next week, you'll ask more about milfs.

Speaker 8:
[77:33] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[77:34] We'll have a longer conversation, longer extended conversation about milfs.

Speaker 5:
[77:38] What age does the milfdom start, Henry?

Speaker 2:
[77:40] My wife and I have a singular disagreement about this. When we talk about how there are categories, yes, right? Obviously, there are real life categories.

Speaker 5:
[77:50] Don't you have to be a mother? No.

Speaker 2:
[77:52] No.

Speaker 5:
[77:53] See, that's fucked up. Yeah. Put in the time, put in the work. You don't get to be a milf. You're just a chick.

Speaker 4:
[77:59] Well, milf is just so much more fun than mature. Because that's what they used to use.

Speaker 2:
[78:03] You could just call them a yo-yo, because guess what makes a wife hornier than anything? Describe it how mature she is.

Speaker 5:
[78:09] Yes, you're a mature. I'd like to.

Speaker 2:
[78:11] I said a very funny thing the other day about, I was just like, well, you're vintage.

Speaker 5:
[78:19] Yeah, that went great. Good job, buddy. I'm proud of you.

Speaker 2:
[78:23] I do it so you don't have to, you guys.

Speaker 5:
[78:24] That's right.

Speaker 4:
[78:25] That's a real bad idea.

Speaker 5:
[78:26] All right. Well, come see us on the fucking road, man. We got some lot of shows coming up. We're going to be in, we got four more left for the old JK Ultra. Obviously, we're going to play Cincinnati tomorrow night, but we're going to be in Pittsburgh, Carnegie Music Hall of Oakland on Friday, May 29th, Grand Rapids, Michigan on June 27th at the GLC Live 20 Monroe, Tulsa, Oklahoma on July 17th, Kane's Ballroom, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, the Tower Theater on July 18th. That's it. Then we're killing JK. Ultra.

Speaker 2:
[79:02] Yeah, then we're going to come back with some new dates.

Speaker 5:
[79:04] That's right. And I'm hitting the road solo. You can go get tickets for that at eddytunes.com. Also, got to say, new YouTube channel in the house, Brighter Side. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're trying it out. So we got a whole bunch of other YouTube channels. Make sure you check them out someplace underneath. LPN Romanticy, The Foreign Report, No Dogs in Space, LPN TV, of course. And now the Brighter Side, LPN TV, Home of HGX2. That came out last week.

Speaker 2:
[79:31] Yeah! Now you can watch that on YouTube.

Speaker 4:
[79:33] Yeah, check out HGX2. We're all in it this season.

Speaker 5:
[79:36] Everybody's in it. It's so much fun. It really is the most chaotic game show we could have created. It's true Adult Swim. And shout out to Eric and Holden for really putting that whole thing together for us.

Speaker 2:
[79:47] Cannot wait. So go check it out and also see us live. And Hail Sweet Satan.

Speaker 4:
[79:51] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[79:52] We'll see you out there.

Speaker 4:
[79:53] Yeah. And also I forgot about the Wampus Kitty. Oh, wow. That's the Texas Big Cat. Oh, okay. Never heard of the Donkey Lady, though. Yeah, well. That's a new one.

Speaker 5:
[80:03] I'll show you. Donkey Lady's new.

Speaker 4:
[80:05] Donkey Lady. I'm sure there was one episode 12 years ago where I went crazy about the Donkey Lady for like 20 minutes, but that's gone.

Speaker 2:
[80:14] Yeah, Donkey Lady San Antonio.

Speaker 4:
[80:16] I don't remember anything.

Speaker 5:
[80:18] Wasn't she a cast member on Hee Haw?

Speaker 4:
[80:20] Oh, thank you. Yeah, her job was to blow the banjo players.

Speaker 5:
[80:29] Oh, that's so nice.

Speaker 4:
[80:32] Roy and such.

Speaker 5:
[80:33] Yeah, the jug players blow themselves.

Speaker 2:
[80:37] We'll see you next week with some aliens.

Speaker 3:
[80:39] All right.

Speaker 5:
[80:40] Have a good one, guys. Hail Squawk.

Speaker 2:
[80:41] Bye, fuckers. Butterfly Dude's Blue-Eyed Blend, nothing to do with any moth-based entity, don't even think about it.

Speaker 3:
[81:48] Why have I asked my HVAC guy I found on angie.com to change my grandpa's trachea tube? Because I was so amazed by how quickly he replaced our air ducts. I knew I could trust him to change Pop Pop's tube while I was on vacation. Make it quick, young man. Aw, see, Pop Pop trusts you.

Speaker 7:
[82:06] Uh, I think we should call the doctor.

Speaker 5:
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