transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:20] Have you been manifesting something for a long time and it's not coming through? Or it's starting to come through and then it goes away? Or do you just have a big vision or goal for your life and you're like, why do I feel like I'm at this stage? I feel like I should be further along than I actually am. This episode is for you. I have been there in many seasons and with a manifestation that I had been calling in for four years and over this recent between our Return to Magic Challenge and our seven day Nervous System Reset, it has finally landed and I have learned some key things on surrender, on trusting the timeline, on releasing control, on really what to do when you're hitting that wall with control, with surrender, with things not being where you want them to go and how to actually move from a place of alignment and abundance and really trust the timeline for you. Stay tuned to the end of the episode because I'm going to give you a little recap of a protocol you can go to if you're navigating this and what tools to use through TBM. And if you haven't done our seven day Nervous System Reset yet, highly recommend it. I'm telling you, this is like the, not even the cherry on top, like this is such an unlock for everyone in this work where we're doing the unblocking, we're taking the line action, we're expanding, but our Nervous System needs that recalibration. I'm telling you, this reset so fricking good and has changed my life so massively in so many ways from launching my next YouTube episode to manifesting our dream wedding venue. After four years, we'll get into it in this episode of what went into it, what blocks were in the way, how I was navigating it. But if you are someone who's sitting there, who's like, I just don't know what the piece is, and you haven't done any sort of dedicated nervous system work, meaning like practices where you're just attuned to the sensation in the body and building up the tolerance for discomfort and uncertainty over time. This is the best place to start. You have 70 eyes. They're all under 10 minutes and you can use them anytime during your day to just expand that window of tolerance and allow your body to metabolize and hold more without pushing things away or self-sabotaging. OK, let's get into it. And you can grab a journal or notebook if you want to take down any notes, because I do feel like there are a lot of good protocols and insights in this one for you. And now a word from our partners. I am going to give you a massive beauty hack that a lot of people don't talk about. Our stress, our tension, our unprocessed emotions show up on our face. Our clenched jaw, our froward brow, overstimulated nervous system. Oftentimes we don't even realize we're doing it. But the more I've created space to feel my feelings and actually feel intentional into my face, into softening my jaw, my eyes, my skin, my face transforms. And one of my absolute favorite products for doing this is the Bond Charge Red Light Face Mask. It's become one of my favorite ways to signal safety into my face and into my system and supporting my skin at a cellular level. Bond Charge's Red Light Mask uses red and near infrared light, which has been studied for its ability to support collagen production, skin repair, circulation, cellular energy, really bringing new life, new energy, new felt sense to your face, which makes you glow. So whether I use it at night to unwind, I usually pair it with a little deep imagining or some TBM work, and I can fully allow my body to relax and get the nutrients from the red light it needs. And with so many red light devices on the market, I trust Bond Charge implicitly. They are so science-backed. They rigorously study and have the highest quality, lowest EMF, best quality red light in all of their products. In fact, they were even awarded the winner of the Beauty Shortlist Awards. If you're curious about supporting your skin and glowing from the inside out, check out Bond Charge's red light face mask at bondcharge.com and use code MAGNETIC, all caps, M-A-G-N-A-T-I-C for 15% off your order. Again, that's bondcharge.com. Check the link in the show notes and put in code MAGNETIC, all caps, M-A-G-N-A-T-I-C for 15% off. And now, on to the episode. What do you do when your manifestation is taking way longer than you thought it would, longer than you wanted, and you're in that position where you're kind of racking your brain on what could be going on that is delaying this so much? I know at To Be Magnetic, we say so much how your manifestation's timeline is both divine timing, but also how unblocked, expanded, and how much aligned action you're taking towards it. And because there is an element that is in our control, the unblocking, the expansion, the aligned action, there can be a sneaky way that we use an elongated timeline to point to some sort of flaw within us. If we were smarter, if we were better, if we were good enough, if we were more unblocked, if we didn't have this issue, I would have what I need. And I first want to name that right off the jump, because even I who has done this work forever, who has been developing these tools, who has been building this business, also have fallen into the trap of those longer term manifestations being like, well, wait, I must be blocked. Something must be wrong here. And it's really important to catch yourself in those moments and correct that narrative. Because if we're approaching our manifestations from a place of shame, a place of lack, a place of brokenness, we're not actually going to see the divinity of the timeline playing out in front of us. And it won't allow us to get into that really true state of deservingness. And when we talk about deservingness at TBM, it's really a state of surrender. It is trusting that thing is coming. I will do my unblocking, my expanding, my aligned action. But I know I have a feeling of certainty. I have a feeling of deservingness that that thing is coming. And when we can get to that state, we know, okay, I don't know how long the timeline is going to be, but I just feel it in my, well, I feel it in my chest and my stomach, which is like in my soul. Like it just knows. I don't know why. I don't know how I might not have evidence for it, but I just know that feeling of deservingness. When that enters the chat, that's when surrender can happen. If you are someone who is manifesting something big right now and it is not moving at the timeline you want, it's not moving at the pace you want, I want you to really take in that you're worth, your capability, how high you can fly, your enoughness is not on the table with this manifestation. In fact, you stepping into your power and being able to see how insanely worthy you truly are is only going to bring it closer to you, but you're not doing anything wrong if you're not fully in the energy of your manifestation right now. I personally think, especially from doing this work so many years, that the ones that take longer are giving us so many blessings in the messy middle of it all that we're not clocking because we're so excited for that next leap where like, I don't understand why I'm not here. Something must be wrong with me. And I really want us to reframe what lessons am I getting to learn here so well that it's going to set me up so much on the other side when inevitably that big manifestation does come through. So I want to share a long term manifestation that I've had on my list now for four plus years. I've shared a little bit of the journey with you guys, but this is one where I found myself in these cycles of feeling stumped of what was the hold up, what was taking so long. And I now being on the other side of it, one, I think part of it is I needed one of these long-term ones to be able to help you guys through the process, to help speak to that experience, to understand what's going on, to how to navigate it, all of the things, but also because I just needed time to move through my own journey. And I am so glad that it's coming in when it's coming in because this version of myself receiving it can hold it so much more than the version that could have four years ago. So four years ago, I got engaged to my fiancee, Daniel. You guys may remember the engagement story that I had an episode with him. It was a dream come true. So excited, worked through so many blocks even to get to that point of getting engaged and taking that relationship to the next level. And the next big puzzle piece was finding our dream aligned wedding venue. We wrote out our list together. We took a line action and booked, you know, reservations and tours and checked out all these places and got really clear on what we wanted and what we wanted to look like and feel like and all these things. And in a lot of places, we'd get really close. We'd be so expanded. But there would always be a big missing element. And it just after a while felt like there was an invisible brick or a visible wall that just was like, stop. I couldn't figure out what it was. We had this cycle where this manifestation, where we would put in a lot of action. We would like look up places and find all these things. And we'd see all these things and we'd get so close. And then there would be this almost fatigue that would set in where I was like, okay, this is feeling like so much effort. And it's almost exhausting me. And I'm not excited about the wedding process at all. It's just feeling like homework. We're going to put it down for a minute. And then a couple months would go by. And then we'd start to feel that percolation of getting excited about the wedding again. And then we'd pick it back up. And then the cycle would repeat itself. And in 2023 Speaking Tour, we released the Blind Spot Deep Imagining. If you guys haven't done that yet, I highly recommend it. But it takes you through different archetypes. And at the time, and I remember talking about this on stage there, at the time, I felt like there was some deeper deeper shedding I needed to do around what I was associating with marriage with legal marriage with this commitment from my family origin and really go back to that initial story and see there's still some wounding here that is playing out in this block that something about finding the venue meant the wedding was happening. And so part of me, I think, was having the venue be at close but not everything. My energy towards the wedding wasn't 100% clean because I still was bringing all these old narratives in with me. And so I started chipping away at it and I started looking at it. And from anyone who hasn't heard my story before, my parents divorced when I was, I want to say between the ages of like 11 and 13, 14, in those tween to early teen years. It's a very messy divorce. And one of the narratives that I took away from it is that don't ever get divorced because it is the most painful, horrible, excruciating thing. Your life will collapse on the other side. You know, everything will be in question, money, home, lifestyle, your family. That was just like the fear that imprinted from one of the fears that imprinted. And, you know, at first with this wedding venue journey, that was the first one I went after. And I was like, OK, let's pull the shame back from the divorce. Because I have tons of people who have gotten divorced, I have friends who have gotten divorced. They went on to the other side of that, having the most incredible lives, so fulfilled, so happy, and so much more themselves. I had to start seeing those narratives. And that helped immensely. We have a really good episode with Janelle Nelson on divorce. We've had many people in our community get divorced. And just de-stigmatizing any shame around it, not from outside opinion, but from this fear that you were somehow unable to rebuild a dream life that you wanted on the other side. And I also had to take back this narrative that maybe I had projected even onto my parents that, like, my dad went on to remarry and he had a great life. You know, my mom is so fulfilled and thriving with so many of her friends. And so there were so many things for both of them that they went on and had a beautiful life on the other side and I had to really allow myself to witness that and see that even though they did both go through really hard times afterwards. Initially, now fully being on the other side, they're more themselves than they ever were. And so I really had to let my inner child witness that. A lot of the inner child deep imaginings helped here. A lot of them blocking deep imaginings helped here. And to really allow that part, that was kind of like one of the main parts of like, can we not be afraid of divorce? So this cycle would contain, I would pull back layers and I would chip away at things. And when I was able to chip away at things, that's when we had the resurgence of energy to start looking at venues again. And we got really close with some, very close. And I'll read you my list just in case it's interesting to anyone. When we first made our list four-ish years ago, there were a lot of things on there that I think our young 20 selves thought were like cool. And we were more focused on the party and our friends. And while that's still really important to us, I want so much spaciousness to be alone on that day. Like I want the morning to myself. I want to be in my energy. I want to connect to like the property and the land and, you know, go on a nature walk. Like there's so many more points of reflection and slowness and stillness that really got added to the list over the years, which is just a reflection of me stepping into myself and feeling more confident in myself and not needing these external things to drive the show to really letting it be about like, how do I want to feel in these moments? How do I want to experience them? But we wanted the venue to have a resort-like feel. We wanted it to be in nature. We wanted it to be a weekend getaway. We wanted a ceremony in nature surrounded by trees and plants and flowers. We wanted a fun party reception with our friend that was able to bring in music from different generations. And music is such an important part in Daniel and I's life. So believe me when I tell you we have been curating our wedding party playlist for years at this point. I wanted vastness of the grounds or the area it was so I could take a nature walk in the morning and really calm and ground. That is when I feel most myself is my walks in nature. So that was a non-negotiable. And friends and family were able to attend easily. Some of the venues we saw, the ceremony spot was like the most beautiful thing, but it was so cumbersome to get to. And we wanted something where either everyone could all stay on property or they could stay very close by and we could have this like kind of tight knit event based thing. Yeah, no, no people pleasing. I truly wanted to just be myself. And there was always this vision in my mind's eye because I was never someone who was like, I want a wedding and this is what it looks like. Like I was not a bride girly at all. You know, for so long in my teen and college years, I was like, I'll never get married. It's fine. So this concept of having this party and all this attention on you, it just didn't feel aligned. It felt like showy in a weird way. And I had to actually sit with, OK, well, what would my authentic version look like? There were some traditional elements that I'd want to pull in. But a lot of it was just the energy, like the energy of being sturdy and in my power, not people pleasing or trying to show off or trying to do anything. I could just sit and witness and like taking the beauty of the day and taking the beauty of the moment and have all the spaciousness. So that evolved into that more just beautiful, timeless kind of chic feeling of the day and of the event where it was really a day of taking in beauty. And I don't mean like makeup beauty. I mean beauty of a scenario, like the beauty of having two families connect, the beauty of seeing friends I haven't seen in years, the beauty of getting to be in nature and be in a beautiful space, the beauty of getting to feel my best in my skin and my body and my outfit and all of these things and not from a place of force. So as I said, we had this cycle of I'd clear out some blocks, Daniel would be working on anything on his end, and then we'd go see places and we'd get super close. And then again, it would just something wouldn't stick. And last year, we knew we wanted to get married sometime between the fall, like a spring wedding was not for us. Summer wedding wasn't for us because Daniel is allergic to too much heat. Not really, but kind of. So last April, we started our process of looking again. We found some places that felt potentially aligned. And then when we went to check dates with all of our friends, people were officiating weddings, things were happening on that date, it just again, felt like this boulder, this lack of ease has entered the chat again. It felt like we were pushing this thing up the hill to make it happen. And I had always wanted to do couples therapy leading up to the wedding as like, in a lot of religions, you know, they'll do religious counseling for a couple. I wanted to just merge on the same page of like, what is the vision for this, for this marriage, for this future? Like how, how do we want to interact? How do we want to clean up things from our dating phase and grow even more in our marriage phase, you know? And so we're like, look, why don't we do, why don't we do couples counseling? Why don't we do therapy and really see what else is under the hood here? Really move forward, like figure out what's in the way of this feeling like ease, cause something's here. So we started going here and within a couple sessions, I realized that on my end, there was, it's going to get me a little emotional thinking about it. There was a protector part of me who was trying to, even though I knew that divorce would have been a completely fine option if we ever chose to get there, I was working through these blocks. I know I could, no matter what happened would be okay. I was still bracing for certainty in my relationship. For me, what that looked like was before I could remove any inner conflicts and have this clear signal of like, yes, I'm ready for these doors to open. There was a part of me that was like, the way I described this protector part, it's like a controller part of me, but it's one who's like micromanaging flaws. And it like sits in the back and it's like, oh, that's okay. Let's clock that, write that down. That could be an issue. And this protector part has been of me probably since the age of my parents' divorce, but it basically scans for threats that could come back to bite me in the butt or could come back to hurt me in some way. And so this protector part basically was sneakily saying, okay, well, you guys had that argument that one day, you can't have any arguments if you go into the marriage. My higher self knows that's not true. My higher self knows that you can have an argument and then repair and actually bond more on the other side. But this protector part was slowly keeping this list in the back of her mind, saying, I want to make sure everything's crossed off. We've checked all the boxes. This is a perfect relationship. There is no doubt in my mind that they will not have the most success and they can go through with the wedding. That protector part was the one that was so subtly, even though probably 95% of everything was on board, everything was moving smoothly, I was unblocked in so many ways, that last protector part was still micromanaging the situation. I was optimizing my current self for my future self's peace and safety, but I was costing my current self peace and safety. My nervous system was running constant due diligence to figure out what could potentially future break the relationship. It would garner, okay, would I lose myself in this? Would this happen? Would this argument make us disconnect? Is this goal or this habit misaligned? Like, I was scanning for any threat that would potentially make our future relationship unsustainable or not the ideal that we wanted. And it wasn't just that it would lead to divorce, which I had processed, but it was also that I was optimizing for the fear that my future self would get lost in the relationship. That a part of my independence, my joy, my freedom, my fluidity would somehow get dampened in a future scenario. And so that threat detector was coming up, noticing any places that I could potentially lose that in the future. Even though in the present that didn't exist, I was living fully free and myself and able to do and live as I wanted in the container of my relationship currently. So why was I so fearful of losing that just because we put this label on marriage on it? And that's what I really had to break down. And I want to talk about this. Because I think this dynamic shows up a lot with our manifestations. If you are someone who has ever felt anxiously attached to something, if you are someone who has control issues or optimize for certainty, or you see your future self and a part of you is scanning for all potential outcomes to figure out what could get in the way, let me make sure if that doesn't happen to you. It is a really loving part of us that wants to do it. And it takes us out of the present moment and scans for threats and points to flaws and tells us tiny little ways in which you may not, a hundred percent certainty have everything you want because that dynamic was present, because you had that argument on that weekend, because this thing looks not aligned in this moment, because you guys aren't perfect individuals, because, because, because, because, because. And it's this whack-a-mole energy. And that's how it's showing up in my relationship for you guys. Think about the manifestations you're calling in. Is it optimizing for your future self's certainty, but you are giving up your current self's peace and safety by having this threat detector on? And so, I had to really realize, it's all in the now. We hear this a million times. We know this. Every, I mean, Ram Joss, every spiritual leader has talked about like, be here now, it's in the now. And in the now, I was like, I am scanning to make sure that the future me will be secure. Meanwhile, current me wasn't fully embodied and present. I was scanning. And it was so sneaky because, like I said, 95% of the time, this wasn't popping up. But that last 5%, that was the part that was coming in and dictating control. I had chipped away at this. It may have been, you know, 95% was getting run by my protector parts in the beginning, but after doing so much unblocking, it was only that last 5%. But the 5% needed to be addressed. I had to sit with that part and be like, okay, I'm going to need you to do something that you're fricking terrified of doing. I'm gonna need you to sit with the uncomfortable feeling that the future in this marriage is uncertain. You can do everything you want right, perfect. You can optimize, you can check every list. You can make sure everything is the most aligned. But in your heart, if you look at who this person is today and who you are today, there is so much love, there's so much alignment. You need to take a leap of faith, and that's what they say marriage is, a leap of faith that even though you don't know for certain that things will not work out the way you want them to, can you at least stay present to that you can trust yourself if and when any of that comes? Can you trust yourself that you can be held in this relationship, that you guys can move through adversity and challenges and what gets thrown your way, and you can actually heal through them? Can you trust that? Can you take that leap of faith? Can you actually notice this protector part coming up and say, can you sit down for a second and sit with the discomfort in your body of letting go of control, of the fact that you do not know for certain, you cannot know for certain, and you can take it day by day, step by step. That, sitting with that piece, that was my anchor through our Return to Magic Challenge, which is like our inner child workshop. For those of you that don't know, it goes through every single developmental phase. I sat with that part of me that wanted certainty. I sat with that part of me that wanted a concrete 100% answer. I sat with when it started to get, I could feel it in my body, craving that certainty and I said, we are future projecting right now, we're not living in the present. Let's go back to the present. Let's go back to the present. Do we feel uncomfortable? Okay, let's feel uncomfortable for a second. We're allowed to feel that in our body. I moved through this again and again, and then coming to the top of the year, we started Couples Therapy. I was able to voice this. It was met with such love and openness and lack of judgment or shame or anything. There was just like this calm space that I had to express this part in those sessions. And it really unlocked so much for me. And also having a trusted authority figure to reflect back, you're okay, you know, like you're going to be okay. You can always trust yourself. You don't need certainty before you trust yourself. You can just listen to what your heart says. That was massive. And it pulled me back to living in the present moment again. Within another birthday just passing, I've been thinking a lot about how I want to age, not just how I feel right now, but how I'm supporting my brain and body long term, especially when it comes to cognitive health. There's so much emerging research around things like inflammation, memory, even dementia. And it keeps bringing me back to fatty 15. Fatty 15 is a pure form of C15, the first essential fatty acid to be discovered in over 90 years. It was originally identified by Dr. Stephanie Van Watson while working with the US Navy studying dolphin health. And what they found is when levels of C15 were low, it linked to cellular fragility, which means our cells age faster. And since our cells are the foundation of everything, our brain, our metabolism, our sleep, it makes sense that supporting them at that level can have a ripple effect on how we feel and function now and long-term. Within a few weeks of first starting fatty 15, I noticed less inflammation, I felt significantly less anxiety, much calmer and my sleep got noticeably deeper. So if you're someone who's thinking more long-term about your health, especially around brain function, energy and aging well, as well as your health right now, this one felt really aligned for me. Fatty 15 is on a mission to optimize your C15 levels to support your long-term health and wellness, especially as you age. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription starter kit by going to fatty15.com/tbm and using code TBM at checkout. Again, that's 15% off with code TBM at checkout. And then we did our nervous system reset. So I've been doing those DIs at this point now, or I had been doing them, I'm still doing them. But at this point, I had been doing them for about a month. And so I was finding the window of tolerance with my certainty piece, with that protector part that wanted to pull up a threat detector. The window for what that threat detector went off about was so much wider, so many less things triggered it. It felt safer to relax. It felt safer to even see my partner in a new light. Like I was able to see him more lovingly, more kindly, more supportively. Like anything he did wasn't held up against this scale that, okay, does that mean he's going to be a good partner in this way? And that like all of that was gone. It's not even that I was ever confused about it. It was that the threat detector was preemptively trying to say like, okay, if that does that, then, you know, it was like mental gymnastics going on that I wasn't even super, I was aware of, but in the moment it would just like take over, take over, take over. And I was able to say, A, create space from it, but also B, to not let it run the show. And that nervous system reset gave it so much space for tolerance. It's like a little kid on my shoulder now. Like that 5%, it doesn't run the show at all anymore. I just see when it's coming up and I talk to it and I'm like, OK, I see you, I understand. We got this. But my true self, my higher self knows this feels correct. This feels in alignment. And then we manifested a very discounted stay at one of our favorite resorts. Daniel and I went. And this is the place that we consider for a wedding venue before, but for whatever reason, we kind of pulled it out of the mix. And when we stayed there, we both kind of had this moment where we looked at each other and we're like, this really checks all the boxes. What are we doing? Like, should we just see? Like, let's see what dates they have available. And we checked in with them and they had a plethora of dates. And of course, I ran every date through the astrology and the moon signs and all of that. We got very close between these three dates. We're asking all of our friends, making sure they're available. And two of the dates had like a little bit of conflict with people, nothing major, but was like a little bit more challenging. And the most astrologically auspicious, the most glorious day to do it, I was sort of pushing for, but it would have been sooner and it would have put a lot of stress on us to get it done so quickly. And the date that Daniel was pushing for was further out. It was still a good date astrologically, but it wasn't perfect. And I realized, oh my God, this is my optimizer part. It wants the wedding to be so certain that it will go well, that it is willing to battle and show up and make the wedding more stressful just to be on the auspicious day. It took me a day to clock, but once I did, I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, I see what's happening. Let's do the further out date. And it went up being the date that was a better financial option. It gave us way more time to get everything done. And every single person was available. There was no conflicts. This just massive heart opening unleashed for the first time in four and a half years. I was excited to plan this wedding. It felt like ease. It didn't feel like homework. It didn't feel like this big mountain. It felt like, wow, we're going to take it one step at a time. We're really in this together. And so now we have an official wedding date at a dream, dream venue. Our planner came in, who was a close friend, and she was available. Like all the puzzle pieces just started click, click, click, click, click. I really, really feel like that block that was there for so long just needed me to continue to chip away at it. It wasn't that I was flawed or wrong or broken or any of those things, just need a little, little more time to soften. It needed more time to be pulled apart from different angles. I needed to unblock it from different angles. I needed it to feel safe. It needed more nervous system capacity to hold when I felt it coming online. I needed to get back to that energy and that frequency that I felt when we had first got engaged, which was this expansive, abundant sensation. And with this chapter of unblocking and chapter of going through the nervous system regulation, like it is back. Like I genuinely did not think I would feel ease thinking about my wedding. I actually, because it had been so long, I thought, will I even feel excited about it? It feels like so much hard work that I feared that I would feel numb or just stressed about the whole thing. And I wouldn't even have any fun in the process. It didn't feel exciting at all. And through that Return to Magic Challenge, going through it with the Inner Child, and then through the Nervous System Reset, this creative, abundant spark aspect came back online. And the night that we signed the contract, I started making my mood board again and going, I'm like, hey, what's the version of my mood board now that I want? What's the feelings I want? And oh, it feels so clear and I feel so excited and I can't wait for this day and this moment and I actually am excited to try on dresses and I'm excited to do this. The energy of just hope and love and excitement came pouring back in. And I also say this, I really did need all that time. I could have maybe moved through those blocks earlier, but there's so many other things that I had been on blocking during this time with money, abundance, career, visibility, using my own voice, knowing what I love, knowing what lights me up, knowing what makes me feel so excited in life. Like I got to know myself so much over those past four years that that makes this experience feel so me in this season. Like the way that we're planning it, the way that we're going about it, there's no conflict on like, who am I, who am I trying to be? I'm so clear on that aspect of who I want to step into and feel into on that day because I've lived her, I've been her. It's so potent. It doesn't feel like something I'm reaching for, trying to be, it just feels like I am just me and this is solid and this structure is solid. And I needed that time to get there. And I'm so fricking grateful that I did. So if you are feeling control, if you are feeling a hard time surrendering to your manifestation, if you are feeling the need to have certainty, I would look at a couple of different routes. Let's chip away some actionables for you guys. Okay. So first and foremost, check any part of you that is trying to shame yourself for this not coming through. This is not about your lack. This is not about your not enoughness, not capable, none of that. That isn't on the table here. This is about the divine timing for you to feel in your highest self when this thing aligns. Can you trust that even though this thing may take longer than you want or you think it should be, it will come in in the exact moment you need it, in the exact moment that you can hold it, and it is going to feel so much better coming in at that moment than coming in earlier in the timeline you thought it should, but your nervous system can't even really let it land. So I just want you to release your judgment of self with the long timeline. And I also want you to take a moment and just allow spaciousness in your mind that what if it was certain that this was coming through? What if no part of you needed to scramble, control, optimize? What if it was certain that you were going to get exactly what you wanted in this category? It was just a matter of time. If you knew that to be true, how would you be showing up today? And how would you be witnessing the parts of you that may be still self-sabotaging, that may be on threat detection, that may be not seeing the small ways you may be blocking yourself, as the most loving invitations to come back to you? Not as ways that you're wrong or flawed, but as ways that, oh, I just needed this support, or oh, I just needed to see this thing through this lens, or oh, I just needed to sit with this discomfort because I've been always approaching things from gripping and fear and control, and I actually have to learn to take a leap of faith here and to trust myself. And maybe for you, your leap of faith isn't, can I open up into this deep relationship and this deep intimacy? Maybe for you, that trust is, can I give myself permission to know that I'm worthy? Maybe that feels uncomfortable for you. Maybe that is the growth edge you're at. Can you give yourself permission to know that you can have the things you want and doesn't have to look like someone else's route? I think the second we start comparing our timeline to anyone else's is where we immediately fall into a trap and we have disconnected from our authority, our authentic self, our authentic timeline. It's so important to know that you can use expanders to show you what's possible. But you're the hero of your story. You are the main character of your life. Your main character doesn't need to look into other people's movies and be like, well, what did that main character do there? You need to focus on what is present right now with me as the main character. And if I know me as the main character is going to get what I want truly from a sole place at some point in some timeline, where am I afraid to face parts of myself now that may be inhibiting that thing coming through in the time it needs to come through? And so I guess, you know, even looking back on my journey with this, I wouldn't have done anything differently. And that is a crazy thing to say, because I could have said, oh, this took four years. Maybe I would have done some blocking process sooner. I would have chipped away at this sooner. I would have, you know, gotten a couple of therapies sooner. I would have done this. Actually, I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have done any of that, because I think it actually was the perfect timeline for me to feel the way that I'm feeling going about this process right now. So could you also take that as expansion for yourself, that there's nothing you need to do to speed up the timeline, and you still need to be present in the ways that you need to look at those blocks and unravel that nervous system threat detection and unravel those things that may be pushing it away, not necessarily to speed it up, but just to do your part of the work. I want to say this again. So many times we talk about unblocking as a means of, oh, if I do this, then it will speed this up and I will get this. What if, especially for the people who really need to surrender, what if you looked at the unblocking process as a way to love and honor yourself deeper and to make your present reality richer and more grounded and more beautiful? Not to superspeed your manifestation. What if we trusted? What if we just trusted that it needed to take the time it took and we need to still be showing up for ourselves and still be unblocking and still looking at those pain points because that helps us unlock over time to get it when it needs to come through. There's one more actionable. I was thinking for you guys. Oh, this was another good one. When I stopped needing to make my relationship certain, I was actually able to make myself feel safe. Now apply this to yourself. When you stop trying to make your current manifestation timeline certain, you start allowing your current self to feel safe. This is huge. If all you needed to worry about was focusing of your present self feeling safe in this moment, not even optimizing for your future self, you are optimizing for your current self to feel safe in this experience, safe in this moment, grounded, held, trusting yourself in this moment. When you start optimizing for your current self state, instead of your future self's material or external manifestation, that is where the real magic is. That is where the timeline, the quantum leaps are possible, are infinite. That's where miracles happen. So let's connect with the parts of us that want to control the timeline with compassion, with love, with honesty, with curiosity, but stop letting them run the show because they're the ones that are making the entire process feel like a finger trap. The more pull, the more pull, the more you're stuck. The more you have to ease in, come together, look and be honest, be compassionate is when you can really break free. If there was one practice that I could recommend to you that has transformed my life more than anything else, it has been the To Be Magnetic work. Obviously, I may be biased because I am the chief content officer, I'm the host of the podcast, I develop all the workshops with the brand, but it is also the tool that has helped my life the most. When I am in a season of doubt, when I am in a season of fear or tests or triggers, when I am trying to get clarity on my next chapter, when I am trying to design a life for my future that I want to be really deeply connected to my soul, to my potential, to my purpose, to my ambition, TBM houses all the tools and workshops that you need to connect deeper to yourself and not let your past patterning, your past programming, and your limiting beliefs run the show anymore. Because every time I get tripped up on one of those things, it is always younger versions of myself coming in, taking the driver's seat and running rampant. And until I can connect with them through the TBM work and really learn to process it in a new way and recontextualize the things, that is when my life actually shifts and I reprogram my neural pathways to be in alignment with what I truly want, which is how you manifest. If you are interested in joining the pathway, we have a special offer for our podcast guests where you can get the first month for $20 and then join our annual membership. You can use this work through our various workshops that we teach you how to manifest. We go through an inner child program. There's a shadow program, one for rot, rock bottom, money, love, you name it. Or you can use it as a daily tool to reprogram in the moment issues as they come up. To reset your nervous system, give you high self-worth, reconnect with your magnetic self, or talk to your inner child part that may be in the way and running the show and self-sabotaging. So if you're getting the ping to join TBM, now's the time and you can use code EXPANDED for $20 off your first month to join the pathway. One other piece, because I'm just reading through some of the questions that you guys sent in, someone said, how do I release control while staying engaged with the project direction goal and continuing to take aligned action instead of simply releasing it and not actually doing my part? Obviously, a dreamer girly, if you guys know our archetypes, one of them is the dreamer. You like to think about it, you like to prepare, but when it comes to rubber meets the road, there may be some disconnect. This person said they had a hard time actually releasing while taking aligned action. And I think this is a good nuance to bring up because so many times when we're really comfortable taking a line action, we're like, okay, like go, go, go. Here's how I can make this manifestation happen. People do the same thing with unblocking. They're like, okay, fine, chip away, chip away, chip away. But it's this balance between the two. It's also the undercurrent that's driving the action and the undercurrent that's driving the unblocking and the undercurrent that's driving the expansion. So are you approaching your aligned action, your unblocking, your expansion from lack, fear or scarcity, or are you approaching it from wholeness, abundance, expansion? That right there will tell you everything you need to know. Because when we were obsessively looking at venues, there was different chapters of this, but when we were like searching, searching, searching, Fnatic had a million tabs open, thinking if I put in more effort, if I put in more work, eventually the result will come. But the basis under it was I am forcing, I am pushing this. I'm not actually giving myself space to sit with the parts of me that are a little unaligned about this path, that's scared about this path. I wasn't sitting with it. And if I actually took a moment to get still and say, okay, this is feeling like force, I know this force is not the way that I want to have this process feel and go. And I know the force is coming from, I want to make it happen. And that's lack versus this feels so aligned, I just can't help but look at it. I'm so excited. I can't wait to search and search and search. If that was fueling me, it would be a completely different story. But what was fueling me was something's not working. I'm going to keep hacking away at it. But had I sat back and said, Jess, what's really going on? Like, what are you feeling? What's happening here? Let's actually sit with maybe the parts of us that are putting up some threat detectors that's almost unbeknownst to me in the time. And so for you guys, like, really look at, is your aligned action from fear? Is your aligned action from scarcity? Is your, you know, need to connect with expanders from lack, fear or scarcity? That's how you know, let's get out of that fear first and then connect to our higher self, the self that's compassionate, and address what's actually happening there. And when you can do that, then you can say, if I knew that I'm good with this manifestation, it's coming through, what are the actions that make me really excited to call that in? What feels like, ooh, these are the ways I can chip away at that action on my side that feel exciting, thrilling, beautiful, loving, all of the things. Check the energy underneath in the way that you're going about it can make such a difference. OK, and then someone said, would love to know any test or rock bottom that happened before my recent manifestation. There always is, you know, there is. Actually, it's funny. There was a very physical one that came through right when Daniel and I were going through the dates and I was being very rigid about the astrology date. I was like, no, it has to be this more auspicious day and getting very rigid about it. I injured my knee. I like got water on the knee, it like swole around my knee. And I overdid it a little bit on some hiking and strength workouts that day. And of course, as anytime I have an ailment, I searched what is any spiritual meaning or themes connected to knee injuries and knee swelling. Lo and behold, it was rigidity. It was control. It was needing to surrender and listen to your body and to listen to the path and to not be so constricted. When I read that, it stopped me in my tracks. Not only did I have to physically slow down, the week before we signed the paperwork actually has happened. I couldn't hike as much. I had to really rest my knee and I had to reconnect and slow down with my body. And that little last chapter of being really still in my body, doing the nervous system reset, it was like the last bit of it needed to clear off before that manifestation could come in with full ease. And then later that week we signed the contract. So that was probably a very obvious test before. And then I would say maybe three or so months before, more of a rock bottom of like, why is this taking so long? What's wrong with us? What's wrong with this? Like, what's, what are we doing wrong? What are we missing? Why isn't this not feeling good? And questioning that, what led to those questions led to us going to couples therapy and having the most open, honest conversations and figuring out that this controller part of mine was coming online, you know, and Daniel got to work with other parts of him that may have been coming online. And the other thing that was really beautiful about this was it allowed this levity and funness to come back to our relationship again, this like playfulness. We always have a certain level of playfulness just because of how we are. But it was just like a new level of just kindness and compassion. Maybe we were in such logistical modes or hyper focus on things for so long that that like softness and childlike play just came back in in such a beautiful way through this whole softening process. And I think that also shifted things a lot. And the last thing I will say that was really helpful in this was that with those longer manifestations, one pattern I have seen now with myself with longer manifestations, but with other people and manifestations that take a longer time, usually there is a split in the self. I guess this could be true for all manifestations in general, but especially the ones that take a little bit longer. There is a split in self where a part of you is trying to protect you from something about that manifestation landing before it happens. So whether that presents as like a controller part wanting to to dot all the I's cross all the T's before it comes through, that's maybe one route it could come through. It could also come through as like the manifestation comes through and then it drops off. There is an inner conflict meaning that a part of you really does genuinely want it and a part of you is not quite sure what is going to happen on the other side. It doesn't feel safe enough with the uncertainty of what that manifestation brings and so the work then becomes how do I sit with not even unblocking specifically towards the manifestation but with my relationship to the uncertainty in the manifestation. Some great DI's for that is Unblocked Inner Child, Unblocked DI, Our Entire Return to Magic, Deep Imagining Series. You don't even have to go in and do the journal prompts. I would just do the DI's with that theme in mind. Then the biggest thing with uncertainty is Nervous System. Can you expand your window of tolerance for sitting with the uncertainty that may come with your manifestation coming through? I feel like when people can do that, there is such a shift with what comes out the other side. There is this clarity, this lock-in alignment that just gets into place. Because now the signal you're sending out with your manifestation isn't distorted and diluted because this one protector part is running the show. I hope this is helpful. I'm so excited to be planning my wedding finally. Oh, what a time. And it just feels so me. Like the version of this wedding we're planning and what it's going to look like. I'm like, this is so me. This isn't like bridal content you see out there, whatever. Like this is just feels like me. And I think that is like the most exciting part. And I feel like the whole process, you know, even Daniel having like a weekly, Daniel and I have like a little weekly wedding planning date together just feels like us. It feels like we're like chipping away. We're playful. We're playing songs. We're dancing. Like it's just so us and there's space for both of us and there's space to fully be our authentic selves in there. And I'm just so good. So worth the wait on every, every level. And there's so much more ease coming through at this time. So sending you guys so much love. I hope there was a lot to learn from this one. You can take away some themes for yourselves and just know, you know, the more you just know for certainty, okay, this can come through in the way that I really want. How can I just sit with what's coming up right now? How can I sit with those protector parts, those parts of me that want to control those parts of me that are making this, you know, have me question things about myself? Can you sit in your worthiness? Can you sit in your truth? Can you sit in your authenticity and just so slightly sit with those protector parts bit by bit, expanding that window? And I can't wait to see what come through. So a couple of things that I mentioned in the episode, but I'm gonna bring up here again. One is our seven day nervous system reset. Any of those deep imaginings, there's eight of them. Mixing them into your routines regularly, just so when you get to a place of stress and overload or fear or scarcity, that you can come back to baseline, you can come back to abundance, you can come back to security, you can come back to that grounded state and expand your window for tolerance so you can hold more and not be operating from that fear protector part. Second, if you recognize that you have a part of yourself that is pushing away your manifestation to protect you, or maybe it's just scanning for threats to make sure when the manifestation comes in, life is perfect and you don't lose out on anything. If you notice a part of you is doing that, then I would go into the Return to Magic Challenge. This is a 15 day challenge. You don't even necessarily have to go through all the journal prompts extensively. You can really just use it as a DI challenge as well, and move through it with what part of me doesn't feel safe with this coming in. What are the stories that I am telling myself about this manifestation coming in, what it means, how it would change my life, what parts of me are fearful of it, and how do that connect to stories that I picked up in childhood and unblock in those DI's? I'm telling you, this was absolutely freaking game changer for me. And then of course, our Unblocked DI, our Inner Child DI are also fantastic for getting to the root and moving through these narratives. So sending you guys so much love, trusting your divine timing, you are so capable, worthy. I'm telling you, your manifestations are out there. They want to connect with you. They're already in motion. Like we don't even need to question them. They are happening. What we need to do is just figure out how to make our present self feel safe. In this moment, stop scanning for threats, stop self sabotaging, stop putting the manifestation on a pedestal. Stop comparing ourselves and looking to other people for what to do and learn to trust ourself and feel safe trusting ourself right now. That will bring you everything. Okay, see you guys next week.