transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:02] Hi, friends. How are you? I'm doing all right, I feel. I'm lying to you. I want to talk to you about a whole bunch of stuff right now. The pop-up, the pop-up store happened. The pop-up store was amazing. You guys absolutely blew me away with how many of you came. But there's so many spiritual things that have been going on and happening. And I don't know why I want to sit down and record right now, but I do. So we're just going to see what comes out. My little soul wants to talk. And yeah, I've been hearing God a lot with everything that's been going on in my life. For my next podcast, I'm going to talk about how to get your focus back when you're dealing with periods of extreme stress, because every single thing in my life, I've had to walk away from people that I've been doing business with, and the exit is going kind of crazier than I could have imagined. I don't know where I stand with a lot of things, and everything that I've been working on for the past year is kind of like dead stopped. I'm going to have to restart with new stuff and new things, but I'm hoping things don't end up in court. I'm trying to make things go as good as possible, but it's like that period of... I'm under so much stress right now, and I want to talk about in my next episode how to not be overrun by stress. And when you're constantly thinking about things and just like doomsday, and it's like there's certain nights where I haven't slept because my mind won't turn off. So I'm getting a whole new approach to things, and I want to kind of share that. But I want to talk about the pop-up because the pop-up store was exactly what I needed was to meet all of you and not all of you, but to meet a lot of you and see you and talk to you and hug you and experience you in real life. I was very nervous and skee-y, like nobody was going to come. I was. I was like kind of terrified. But so many people ended up coming that there was like a four-hour line, and people still chose to wait because I was doing the meet and greet. And for the two days of the pop-up, I did the meet and greet for eight hours Saturday and then eight hours Sunday. Like I exhausted myself. I didn't really stop to take a break. I would only stop when I had to pee. But I didn't eat. I didn't smoke a cigarette. I had a little vape and I was just hitting it here and there. I was so excited and loved meeting all of you. Also, a lot of you waited so long. I wanted to make sure I got to meet all of you. You came and gave me your time. I was going to make sure I got to, at least take a photo, which is to say hi, you know? But I want to talk about the spiritual things that have happened at the event and also after. So how I talked about everything that I've had business-wise is kind of imploding because I'm having to choose to walk away. You guys filled my cup, you could say. Me and all of you restored something in me and made me feel so appreciative. But where the spiritual kind of stuff started happening, since I've started to explore having a relationship with God in a different way and exploring Jesus Christ and the way that he approached life and the way that he was, I've been having a lot of my spiritual abilities heighten. And it's scared the shit out of me a lot, like clairvoyance, clairaudience, claircognizant, like where I just get random information from like a higher source. I've always had that. But it's like all the clairs have kind of heightened. And I feel things and I see things that are not perceived by other people. And it's been isolating and I've been trying to like get a grip on it. But the thing that happened at the pop-up was so many of you, the reason it like touched me so much is one, you guys spent four hours of your life waiting in line to come and meet me. That meant the world to me. But so many of you were telling me when you would hug me that I helped you get through losing people that you love to death. Like a lot of people said that to me and I was happy to be there for you. And a lot of you said that my videos helped you during those times. And I can't fathom that, honestly. I couldn't fathom how the hell did my videos help people who are dealing with this kind of loss. And then I got to a point where after about 50 people gave me a genuine hug where it was like I could feel the appreciation and I could feel your love and I could feel what I kind of helped you through. This one girl came in the line. I hugged her and she told me that I helped her get through losing her daughter. Like she lost her daughter. And that conversation broke me. I literally had to get off the stage and go into the bathroom and fucking sob because I felt her daughter trying to talk to me. I'm gonna sound like a nutcase, but I felt the presence of her daughter's soul very, very strongly, and she was reaching out to hug her. And so when I hugged her, I could feel her daughter hugging her through me. It was the craziest experience. It was nice. But being the one that kind of like, not the vessel for it, but experiencing that was kind of life-changing for me. But it broke me. I had to go to the back. It's like, I can hold my emotions back. I can shut it off. But I literally just like after I hugged her and she walked by to go get the photos printed out, I was like this, and I told security, like, I had to go. And I just stayed in the back and just fucking sobbed because I didn't know what the fuck that was, what that experience was, but I felt it. It was the craziest comfort. I don't know how to word it, really. But it was nice. I could feel like a weird completion of something and like a healing something. I don't know what it was. But that experience meant a lot to me, but it also scared the shit out of me because I was like, what just happened? You know, that was kind of the beginning of like the spiritual knock at my door of things happening. And I loved it. But through everything going on with my business stuff, I felt very alone and very in it on my own, to say, like to kind of word it lightly. I felt very alone. I was feeling very alone. But my family came to the pop up and worked the pop up for free. And a lot of my friends came to the pop up, and they were there the whole time. I saw everybody that I love and have celebrated the good times with and been there for. It's like, I finally got to receive everyone's love and everyone's showing up for me, like of the people in my life. They helped us pull this off. It wouldn't have happened without all of them. And I didn't have to pay them. They just genuinely wanted to be there. And it was very nice. Like, I cried about it. I did, in private. But I don't know how to word it, but I feel God's presence very strongly in my life right now. Then the whole aspect of meeting you guys, it was like so much love. I've been talking about how I've felt so alone and like unloved and all kind of crazy shit the past few months, but it was like so much love at once, where I couldn't take it in. Like from you guys, from my friends and my family and everyone being there, it was so much at once. Like my system couldn't take it. Like I was like losing my mind in like a happy good way. But yeah, I really want to say thank you to everyone who came. And if you're someone that I've helped through my videos, thank you for still being here because I don't help people who are just dealing with a little bullshit problem. I help people who are on the verge and are in very, very dark spots. So I kind of want to say, I see where you are. And if my videos have helped at all, thank you for telling me. And I hope whatever the fuck you're going through, you beat it fast. All right. I hope whatever it is, you win. Because right now I'm back in a period of like the physical kind of problems being a problem. So it's hard to word. I don't know why I'm making this episode. I don't know. But I'm kind of in a phase of a dark spot myself. But it's weird because it's not dark spot like, oh, something awful happened. Like I feel like shit. It's like spiritually I feel fulfilled. With my people in my life, I feel more connected than ever. It's like all the people that have fallen out, literally the day before the pop up, all the people that revealed themselves, the shit that I saw, I felt so fucked over and so alone. And then immediately I felt God usher in all of these people. And then there was some people who volunteered who I could tell God put in my life. And it's like, I felt very supported and cared about and loved. And I have a whole new, like the team that I've been needing rebuilt itself. It's the craziest thing to describe, but I'm having an issue with the stress I'm under right now. And I'm kind of working through that. So I think the next episode will be helpful, but I kind of wanted to do like a check-in episode and just say that I appreciate you guys so much. Like, beyond words. Can't even fucking begin to describe it. I got something worth more than money. Yeah, I did. I did. I don't even know what to do with it. I don't know how to articulate it. It's nice. It's also a crazy thing where like, there's so many people that only want money from me that I work with and do certain things with. It's like they only want money, and it's made me think that that's the only thing I have to give. And all the people in my life who actually care about me didn't want anything because I'm not in a position where I can just give to everybody and be frivolous with money. Like I couldn't repay people for what they did for me. Like all the people in my life, I can't repay that. And they all still came and they didn't care. And it's, this is like it's broken my whole concept of love and receiving and loving other people. And it's like healed it at the same time. It's crazy. Another way that I've been feeling God real strong is just in so many synchronicities, things lining up. I was counting cash the other day, and then a bill flipped out and it had Jesus is Lord and there was like a message all the way around the $20 bill. Like someone had written on it about Jesus and about God is the way and like God loves you, God has you. It's like just certain little things like that. But I've been hearing God. That's the weird thing, because I understand when I'm hearing my soul, I now can hear my heart, but I can also hear God. He ain't playing with me. You got his foot on my neck. The shit he's been saying to me. I'm like, oh my God. Like the other day, I was stressed out and I was walking into the tanning salon because I was getting real pale. But I walk in the tanning salon, and then this, I was just like in a bad mood, like a bad head space, kind of doomsdaying, feeling hopeless, feeling very fucked over by the world. Because I've done so much and given so much, and I realized I've not been in good hands with business things. And people that I've done so right have been secretly fucking me. So I'm walking in the tanning salon. Then this guy comes walking in behind me a little bit older than me. And he had an injury or something happened to his leg where he's now got like a... I don't know the exact problem, but he's limping. He's got something wrong with his leg, and he's walking a little slow. And I could tell he was just frustrated with his condition. It seemed like a new injury. It wasn't something that he's had forever. And I could tell he was looking at me and feeling a little bit insecure. Like, you can read people, and it's like... So I smiled at him. I was like, Hi, how are you? And he was like, I'm good. But the moment he was kind of walking in the door, I heard God say, look. And he got my attention. And it was a random time I went to the tanning salon. In the middle of the day, I randomly got the urge to get up and get out the house and go. So I went. And then I looked at the guy, and then I heard God say, now dare to continue down this path of not seeing what you have. Oh, my God. Checked me. Because the thing I've been so stressed about is just material worldly shit of certain things with the business stuff and things going on. And I know that this guy would pay any amount of money to have his health and to have his leg be back to normal and functioning like how it was before whatever accident happened. I knew so much about the situation without knowing nothing. And I saw the exact layout and the message God had for me. And it literally like jolted me so hard. I started crying in the tanning bed. I was laying back like like in a tanning bed, just like baking, faking baking them, like crying about it because like God really got on me because I was stuck in like not seeing anything that I have and like very doomsday doom and gloom. But God checked me real quick. And I've heard a lot of kind of crazy moments. There's like certain things I don't really want to talk about yet. Where I've like heard God talking to me. I've never experienced a sense of relief and a sense of love that I do. I feel like a little out of it. You can tell I'm not like fully like into life right now because I'm in one of those periods of like a buffer period of like understanding what is going on, integrating some things. Also the stress of what I have going on and like, I don't know how to word it. I don't know how to describe it, but I feel and I know 100% that I'm going through a lot of shit right now to teach me and prepare me because I've just learned so many lessons within a span of a week. I've learned so many lessons about so many things and I keep hearing like, it's not for nothing. I know God's looking at me like, hey, jackass, it's not for nothing. I wouldn't be teaching you all this and blowing everything up for you if it wasn't because something bigger was coming. Like I'm teaching you all this shit because you got something hot cooking on the horizon. Like I just feel it. Yeah, something's going on. God's plotting something with me. And it's getting real strong. Like I'm not able to ignore it anymore. So that's it for this podcast. I'm going to do another episode for Sunday where I talk about how I've been able to stay sane through a bunch of shit and like new approaches to stress and kind of getting your focus back. So yeah, that's it. Thank you all so bad. I love you for real. That's all. Talk to you soon.