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[00:00] This episode is sponsored by Merit Beauty. One of my favorite Lazy Genius principles is start small. If something feels complicated, I'm probably not gonna stick with it. And that includes makeup. That's why I have really loved using Merit. They're a minimalist beauty brand that makes elevated makeup and skincare designed to help you look put together in minutes. The minimalist has become a staple for me. It's not quite a foundation, not quite a concealer, but it replaces both in my bag. I swipe it on where I need a little coverage, blend it in, and that's it, it's done. Their Clean Lash Mascara is another favorite. It makes my lashes look longer and more awake, but not over the top for carpal. And on days when I don't feel like wearing makeup at all, their Great Skin Serum is such a good option that gives a fresh, hydrated look. Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their signature makeup bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com. That's M-E-R-I-T, beauty.com, to get your free signature makeup bag with your first order. meritbeauty.com. This episode is sponsored by iXcel Learning. This time of year always feels a little hectic if you have kids in school. There's a lot happening, and somehow it all speeds up at the same time. And I found this is when it helps to keep things simple when it comes to schoolwork at home. That's where iXcel can be really helpful. It's an online learning platform that covers math, reading, writing, and more, and it's designed to meet kids where they are. So if there's something they need to review or something that hasn't quite clicked yet, they can spend a little time with it and keep moving forward. It's organized by grade and skill. There's clear feedback as they go, and you can see progress without having to manage a bunch of different things. And it's been shown to help improve grades. Students who use iXcel score higher on tests across all 50 states. iXcel is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the US. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get iXcel now. And listeners can get an exclusive 20% off iXcel membership when they sign up today at ixcellearning.com/genius. Visit ixcellearning.com/genius to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Hi there. You're listening to The Lazy Genius Podcast. I'm Kendra Adachi. This show is not about hacking the system to find more time or hacking your energy to get more done, hustling to be the best or to make the most out of every opportunity is exhausting and unsustainable. So here we do things differently. On this show, we value contentment, compassion and living in our season. We favor small steps over big systems. Here we are lazy geniuses, being a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I am so glad that you are here. Today is episode 464, how to create healthier phone habits. I remember the days when we did not all have smartphones. In fact, my husband held out for years. He did not have a cell phone of any kind until like 15 years ago. And it was because his parents were like, sir, you have children. You need to be reachable. That's hilarious. So today's episode, it is exactly what the title says. We're going to talk about how to create healthier phone habits. Healthy habits are personal. What's healthy or unhealthy for me might not be for you. So this is not a judgmental episode. Instead, we're going to examine what healthy means for you. What parts of the phone experience needs some attention and figure out how to create some better practices that align with what matters to you. I think by the end of the episode, you're going to feel excited about how to start small with making your phone part of your life and have tools that are aligned with how you want your phone to be part of your life, whatever that looks like. After that, we're going to have a little extra something in the form of my most used phone apps. I mean, it is an episode about healthy phone habits. This changes. My favorite apps, it changes depending on like seasons of life and stuff, right? But I will share my go-to favorite apps and even a little bit about how they're organized. As always, we will hear from The Lazy Genius of the Week who might have possibly solved laundry, and we will close with a mini pep talk for when you feel lonely in your uncommon choice. You know, sometimes we do things that are against the grain a little, things that are different from most folks that we see or even people that we know, that it's something that matters to us that other people just don't understand, and that can sometimes feel really lonely. So that pep talk is for you. All right, before we get into the episode, I want to tell you a little bit about how we as the Lazy Genius Collective use Spotify for episodes and how I personally use Spotify in a way that you might enjoy. Okay, so staying on theme here with the phone. Spotify is an app that a lot of people use, obviously, not everyone, of course, but for those of you who do, I wanted to make sure that you find my profile. It's a personal profile, actually. It's not like a business profile. We don't have a business one, so everything I'm about to tell you is housed inside my personal Spotify profile. So when you open Spotify, you're gonna search my username, Kendra Joyner. It's Joy like Joy, not an I, Joyner Adachi. You'll find two main things there in my profile that you might like. The first is a folder called Podcast Flights. So these are folders or groups of episodes of The Lazy Genius Podcast that you might want to listen to when you're dealing with a particular area of life. They are categorized, so to speak, based on what it is you're experiencing and what you might want to listen to. Every episode we make does not go inside one of these podcast playlists, but super relevant ones do. So we have a podcast playlist with all the episodes that we have ever done with guests. We have another one with all the episodes we've ever done for office hours. That is really fun to listen to if you just want to hear some good old problem-solving. If you're needing help with some sort of life transition, there is a folder called Change. And in there, you'll find episodes on like How to Lazy Genius a Big Change, What to Do When You're Bored with Your Life, and then specific episodes about big changes like a wedding, moving, a new baby, even a faith crisis. Now, if you're in a big time of transition, there is a curated selection of episodes that might meet you right where you are. We have playlists for cooking and kids and work and summer sanity, which might be like really good to start listening to now because summer is approaching. There's even one called Starter Pack that has some of our best, most evergreen, most foundational beloved episodes. You can obviously head to our website and scroll episodes or like even do that on whatever app you use. But that's a lot of scrolling, you know? Today is episode 464. Plus we have a ton of bonus episodes. You don't need to scroll 464 episodes if you don't want to. You just need a handful that will help you now. So if you would like to access those, just hop on Spotify, you can find my profile and scroll until you see the folder labeled Podcast Flights. And while you're scrolling, you can also see a ton of music playlists that I have made over the years, like so many. Some might not mean anything to you because playlists are obviously personal, but there are some really good ones in there. And I try to make the playlist names descriptive enough that they match a mood. Like there's a playlist called Gonna Try to Run. Those are my like pump me up running songs when I'm gonna give it a try. I don't usually last very long because I have glass knees. But it's still fun to have, you know. I also have a playlist that I just saw when I was scrolling called Calling for Spring, which feels like the right vibe right now in early April. Anyway, if you would like some curated podcast episodes or music playlists, you can check out my Spotify profile. The name again is Kendra Joyner, Joy Adachi. All right, before we get into how to create healthier phone habits, let's take a quick break to hear from our sponsors, which make this show free for you to listen to. And here's your quick reminder about the podcast recap email we send out every other Friday. It's called Latest Lazy Listens. It summarizes the episodes so you don't have to take notes. It shares The Lazy Genius of the Week, as well as other segments we have on the show. And it has a little extra note from me to help encourage you through the weekend. So, if you would like to get that recap, head to thelazygeniuscollective.com/listens. This episode is sponsored by Good Ranchers. Spring always feels like the start of spending more time outside, having people over and thinking a little differently about meals at home. And when I'm planning ahead for that, I already know that I'm trusting Good Ranchers. I've been a subscriber for a couple of months now, and it's changed how I think about what I keep on hand. Everything comes from American Farms and shows up right at my door, which takes one more thing off my list. And they have custom boxes now, which I really like, because I can choose the cuts I know my family loves. We're a big steak family, and I am the winner of said family when I come in with a steak off the grill for dinner. It's so great to open the freezer and see items we'll actually use from farmers I can trust. And with My Code Genius, you'll get free meat for life and $25 off your first order. That's free meat with every order, and $25 off your first order with My Code Genius when you subscribe on goodranchers.com. goodranchers.com, American meat delivered. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. If you've ever wanted a place online that actually reflects what you do, whether that's your work, your writing or your ideas, Squarespace is an all-in-one platform that makes that really simple. You can build a site, claim your domain, share your content and manage everything in one place. I've used Squarespace for a long time, over 10 years, which is like a century in internet time. And one thing I really appreciate is how straightforward it is. You don't have to be a designer or a developer to make something that looks clean and feels like you. They have really beautiful templates to start with and you can adjust everything from there. So your site doesn't feel generic, it actually feels like your space. And if you want to help getting started, their AI builder can walk you through it and get something up pretty quickly. Head to squarespace.com/lazygenius for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Lazy Genius to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. All right. Here's the thing when we talk about something that we might want to change, like maybe having healthier phone habits. We think really big, we need all the ideas, we start to collect hacks, all the things. No, that's not what we're doing today. This episode will not be like a long list of ideas or habits that you should try. Now you can't even try a habit, you have to develop one, but you know what I'm saying. In order for you to have a better relationship with your phone. Like I think those kinds of lists are fine. Like here's a bunch of ideas of how to, you know, spend less time on your phone if that's what you want. But as Lazy Geniuses, we want to start small. And we also want to make sure that we are choosing tools that really support what matters to us. If you just start randomly trying like a new phone habit, trying to develop one without it being rooted in something really specific to you that matters, you will quit, you will quit. So today, we're going to use our trusty, dependable, magically simple Lazy Genius Method to create healthier phone habits. Whenever you have a larger issue, you would like to Lazy Genius. The five-step Lazy Genius Method is your friend. So the Lazy Genius Method first appeared in my second book, The Lazy Genius Kitchen, that was the book that fell into the ocean, where I applied this method to several areas of your kitchen, planning, shopping, prep, hosting more. But what's great is that this method works pretty much anywhere, not just the kitchen. It helps you make a big problem smaller and weed through the noise to find solutions that genuinely help make life easier and better. You don't need a new list of hacks to throw at the wall. I want you to go through this process of figuring out what singular choice might make an exceptional difference based on what matters to you in any area of your life. But obviously today we're talking about phones. So it's five steps and let's just quickly review them now for anybody new and as a review for people who haven't used them in a while before we start applying them to the phones. Okay, so step one is to prioritize. You have to name what matters about whatever problem you're trying to solve, okay? That's step one, prioritize. Step two, essentialize. You have to get rid of what's in the way of whatever matters to you. You gotta get rid of what's in the way. You also wanna make sure you have what you need to support it. You wanna have the essentials, nothing more or less if you can help it, okay? Step three is to organize. So prioritize, essentialize, organize. This is where you put everything in its place. So often we organize something chaotic before we essentialize, which means we're organizing a ton of stuff we don't actually need. The steps really do matter here, okay? So organize is three. Fourth is to personalize. You wanna feel like yourself. You wanna make decisions that align with your personal values, but also make life fun, maybe light. And finally, step number five in The Lazy Genius Method is to systemize. This one's probably gonna come in pretty big with phones. You wanna keep things in a flow, you know? You wanna keep your choices moving without a lot of effort. Okay, so prioritize, essentialize, organize, personalize, and systemize. That is The Lazy Genius Method. Now, let's apply those to our phones and see how we can come out on the other side with some choices. Choses that could eventually become healthier phone habits. All right, so first thing is we're gonna prioritize. What matters to you about your relationship with your phone? I think the more specific you can be, the better, okay? Let's say you name something rather common, like I wanna spend less time on my phone. Okay, that's great. But that's likely not gonna be specific or small enough to make decisions to help you get there, right? It's like less time, like when? Using what apps? Like it, you know, it's just too hard, it's too unwieldy. But if you say, I'd like to spend less time on my phone first thing in the morning, or I'd like to spend less time on my phone right before I go to bed, that specificity, that can help you make decisions specifically for that thing, right? It also, your priority about phone might not be about time at all. It might be a specific app. You know, I use my phone all the time. I use my phone to read every day. I use it to listen to music and audiobooks and play the New York Times games. I use it to text and vox and stay in touch with people. I don't actually necessarily want to limit my time, but I do want to limit how much time I spend on things that have an endless scroll. You know, online shopping, social media, those are major sources of distraction because they just never end. And because we know that they're built to do that, they're built to make us stay, I know that I personally have to be pretty vigilant about not getting sucked in because it's built to suck me in. That's the whole point, right? So it could be the thing that matters to you the most. It could be the amount of time that you spend. It could be the time of day that you're on the phone, the type of thing that you're doing on your phone. Or maybe your priority is to not let your phone interfere with relational interactions. Maybe you're on your phone a lot for work or whatever, and you kind of need to be. But you would also like to prioritize being more engaged with your kids when they come home from school or when they come into a room rather than being on your phone. Once you've had that interaction with them and are present with them, then you can go back to doing your work on your phone or whatever. The point here too is we all have different priorities. You want to choose yours, but remember we all have different ones. But the more specific you can make yours, the easier it will be to support it. I want to spend less time on my phone is much harder and broader to support then. I want to stop waking up and getting on my phone right away. That is smaller, is more specific, and it's easier to support. Okay, I'm going to share my own application of the Lazy Genius Method to my phone habits as we go through this. So for me, that's what I said. My priority right now is not getting sucked into Instagram and online shopping apps, anything that's driven by an algorithm. I'm like on high alert for an algorithm. It becomes a time suck, you know? It's like that thing where you look up and 45 minutes has gone by. That is my personal priority to avoid those kinds of situations. So that's step one. Prioritize. Name what matters to you. It does not matter what it is. It only matters that it matters to you. Now, one note before we move on to step two, you might be like, well, all this matters. You might want to lower the time, lower the algorithm apps, change how you reach for your phone at certain times a day, be more present, something I didn't mention, all of it. But what you need to do first to start small, choose one, choose one priority, choose whatever feel like it matters the most in this season of life. You have time to deal with the other things. It is better to start small with one, set yourself up well, see what works, and then fold in another priority down the road. Do not start too big. This is not going to stick if you do. Remember, we don't do that here. We don't do change-your-life stuff unless it's chicken. Okay? I know it all feels like it matters, but I want you to choose just one small thing to do that does matter right now. And starting with those choices, that is actually what eventually does change your life. Okay, step two, essentialize. You want to have what you need, and you want to get rid of what you don't. And this has to align with your priority. Okay? It doesn't really matter if you get rid of things or add things that don't match what matters, right? That's wasted effort, you know? So if you're the person who wants to like not look at her phone at night before bed, what is keeping you from doing that? Maybe it's just automatic right now and you don't even think about it. So you could set a downtime boundary on your phone, where it like grays out apps after a certain time of night. You know, a downtime setting gets rid of like easily being able to open an app automatically. It creates an obstacle for you, right? Another thing that could be in the way is that you do things on your phone at night like read or play a game. But because you do those things on your phone, you're more likely to spend longer on your phone reading or playing games. But then also hopping over to other apps that suck you in. We all do it. It's like, let me check my email really quick. Let me check Instagram really quick. We all do that. So maybe you essentialize by reading on a Kindle or holding a physical book instead of reading on your phone just for at night. You're still doing the same activity. You're just exchanging your phone for something else or for games. You know, if you kind of like the mindless gaming at night, transfer that, still do the same sort of thing, sit in the same place on the couch or in your bed or whatever, that transfer that to like a deck of cards or a board game with someone you live with or like a quiet hobby like crocheting or whatever, like to keep your hands busy and your brain off like a game would. Again, some type of activity at night, just not on your phone, right? That could help you because the phone itself is the obstacle. You also might want to just eliminate a particular app entirely. I used to have the Facebook app on my phone, just in case. It felt annoying to have to log in on a web browser when I could just click the app if I needed to check something. But then I would so easily just click the app and then end up doom scrolling or getting mad at people or think I needed to pick things up on Facebook Marketplace that I didn't really need. Deleting the app was actually so much easier than having to navigate a complicated relationship with the app. Like it was better for me to log in in that wonky way on the web browser than to deal with having an app that I was keeping just in case. So that might be a pretty cut throat, but potentially helpful way to essentialize. It's just like delete the app that you don't want to be on all the time. You also might want to get rid of notifications. Maybe you feel like your phone's back in call and never realized how many notifications you get that just aren't really necessary. They're pinging your attention. They're grabbing your attention. And you might think that they're not, but maybe they are. Maybe if you pay attention to that, they are. You can turn them off. Like for most apps, even specific apps, you can turn the notifications off, right? For certain apps, if you would rather choose how you spend your time with that app instead of being called to it, right? Or you can leave notifications on if you want so you can see, but you turn the phone to silent. Eliminate the noise if that is what's getting to you. If that's what's in the way of whatever your priority is, noise and notifications, you can make some adjustments there. You also want to make sure you have what you need. If you really do not want to start your day checking your phone first thing, because you know that you're going to like check your email and you're going to see news and you're going to see tasks that you don't have the brain power to figure out yet, or that you'll turn off your alarm and you're going to check the weather, but then you do what we do and quickly pop over to Instagram just to see, even though you always stay on it longer than you want to, because of the algorithm, we all do it. I want you to think about what you need to add to your life to make that from happening if you want that to stop happening. So you might need an actual alarm clock. It could be that picking up the phone itself is the thing. So you need an alarm clock to keep you from grabbing your phone first thing in the morning. Or if you don't like the idea of charging your phone in another room, like I don't do that either, that's a common suggestion is to plug in your phone in a different room so it's not by your bed. I don't do that, mine's by my bed. But you can plug it in close enough to like hear your alarm or hear your white noise or whatever it is that you're wanting to be sure that you're close to. But the phone is not plugged in close enough to your bed that you can touch the phone without getting out of bed. You know, maybe you just need to like move the phone charger to an outlet that's a little more out of reach. Whatever matters to you, whatever it is, doesn't matter. Make sure that you have what you need and get rid of what you don't in order to support what matters. If there are a handful of things that could be culprits or helpers, I want you to start small with just one. See how one choice affects whatever phone habit you're trying to adjust. And if it works, wait until it's singing a little, you know, before adding in another adjustment. You don't have to do it all at one time. If you do, it probably won't work anyway. Or if it doesn't work, this gives you room. If it doesn't work, if you try one thing and it doesn't work, then you can try something else, right? Maybe putting your phone out of reach does not work, but a like a home screen photo with your toddler, like pointing a sassy finger at you as if to say like, no, don't reach for me. Maybe that makes you laugh in the morning and put your phone down. I don't know. Just try something and see what works. If it does keep going, if it doesn't try something else. I mentioned that my current priority for my phone is to not get pulled in by algorithms. Really, I just don't want to get sucked into my phone at all. Notifications for me have been off forever for that very reason. The only notifications I get are texts, phone calls, and Voxer. There's no news, there's no social media. I even leave calendar notifications on only if the event is something I'm going to forget, which is several things. So I do use calendar notifications sometimes. But notifications can really pull me in and make me open the phone when I don't need to, and then I do the thing where I just hop around just to see real quick, and then 25 minutes will come by. So that has really, really helped to keep notifications off. I also essentialize by not having Instagram on my phone for most of the week. Y'all know this because I've shared it often, just even the progress of it. But I have slowly essentialized Instagram being off my phone for like most of the week. It used to be like I would leave it on from Monday through Thursday, kind of like the work week. But now it's pretty much just Monday. That way, I'm not sucked in. I was able to name that that was my biggest obstacle. Like literally having Instagram on my phone was my biggest obstacle. So it was just better for me to be like, let's just get rid of this obstacle entirely. So that's the second step is to essentialize. Get rid of what's in the way. Have what you need. Get rid of what you don't. And then let's move into step three, which is to organize or put everything in its place. Now, this might be actual organization on your phone, like where the apps are, right? You can choose where you want to put apps that you want to avoid. They could, like, you could put all of your avoidable apps in one folder that's labeled like all caps, emergency use only. I don't know. You know, to remind you visually, like, hey, only go here if you have to, girl. Only go here if you have to. Or you can just move the apps that you don't want to be engaged with as much off of your home screen so you don't see them. Apple phones, they even let you hide an app from view so that you have to search for it specifically in order to use it. So that could be a really nice option if you don't want to delete an app entirely, that you would rather not be in view. But the organization, step three, organize, it could be the actual organization of your home screen, like where you put your apps. This is where you might put app limits on certain apps or the phone itself. You know, you could organize your time spent on the phone by creating boundaries and limits to support that, to support when and when you don't want to be on your phone. Or if your priority is presence with other people, maybe your organization is more about your calendar than your phone. You can look at the times of day that you want to be locked in with your kids or your work or whatever it is, and you set an alarm for that time to put the phone down and put it away for that half hour or hour or whatever it is. And then when your kids get home from school, you are there ready to greet them and be with them. There's no distracting phone in sight. You have put it away. You're organizing your time, right, to support what matters to you about your phone. I remember when my kids were younger. I had two in elementary school and one in early middle school. And I felt so distracted in the afternoon by my phone. I kept it close. Again, it was like just in case, just in case. There was like, you know, an emergency or whatever. But also it's like, well, what if there's like a lull in homework or a lull in the conversation? And by having my phone close by, I could stay on top of email, or I could respond to a couple of DMs or whatever. This is when I had Instagram on all the time and was doing that. I was posting more, which meant I had more DMs to respond to. It felt like I was being ready and efficient by having the phone right there so that I could like do work in the cracks. But really, it just took me out of that time completely. So I started plugging my phone. I would plug it into the charger like far away from the kitchen table right before the kids got home. And I would leave it there until they were off doing screen time, like right before I made dinner. It made a massive difference in my presence with them. I like enjoyed those afternoons because I wasn't dividing my attention or constantly being pulled by notification. And as far as the whole, like, well, what if there's a lull? And what if there's a break? Like, am I just going to sit there and stare at my children? I mean, I could. They're really cute. Then I would have a book with me instead. I'd have a book to fill the time if there was time to be filled. So that's that. Now, for my phone habits now, I have put Instagram in its place. Like I said, its place is barely there. I have it on my phone on Mondays. I'd use it to make a reel for the podcast. If you follow me on Instagram at The Lazy Genius, you know that. I post a reel about the podcast every Monday. And then I don't really post anything else. And then at the end of the day, I delete the app. It's gone. If I need to check DMs or something, then I will check it on my laptop. That it's far less distracting to scroll on my laptop. I know he's gonna scroll on our laptop. It just, that's weird. I also have a time limit on that app on Instagram. That way I have a trigger to like get off of the app before too much time has gone by, even on the days that it is on my phone. So three years ago, probably, I think that the time limit was something like, I don't know, like two hours. That gave me time to make cool reels and stuff, which I sort of used to do. Then they took a lot more time. And then it was time to also scroll Instagram a ton, because I like, you know, enjoyed Instagram. This past year, it went down to 50 minutes, five zero. But recently, just a few months ago, I even felt like 50 minutes was more time than I needed or even wanted. So now my limit is 25 minutes a day, or really 25 minutes on Monday. That's really what it is. I get 25 minutes on Monday. What it does, here's the thing that's wild, is it takes the pressure off of having to make like a fancy reel, since I just don't care about doing that all that much. It's just me talking and explaining the episode. There's no like music or transitions, or it's not like a flashy reel, which those are great. And I love that people make amazing content. That's just not my skill set nor my desire. So having a 25-minute limit actually really supports that. And it also, that 25 minutes, it maybe gives me like 10 minutes to watch a couple of funny videos. Usually, I will go directly to the account Make Some Noise, which I love with my whole heart. And I will watch a couple of videos that I miss because they have like a TV show sort of thing, like a web show every week. And so I'll just go catch up on that. And then I'm kind of done. The more time that's gone by, the less I miss it, the less I miss Instagram. Now that doesn't always happen for people or even need to. This is not like a, hey guys, get off Instagram. That's not true. I, as a person, I am grateful for what it's done for me, especially since my priority is to stay away from anything with an algorithm. It's been really good for me. It's been healthy for me. It's been such a good choice and really was a series of choices, right? That began with like limiting the days that it was on my phone. And then the time, everything just over years, just kept adjusting and adjusting until I have Instagram 25 minutes on Mondays. Eventually it's like going to shrink into nothing. We'll see what happens. So what do you need to put in its place to help support your priority, whatever it is? Okay, the fourth step is to personalize. Now here's one thing about the Lazy Genius method. While every step matters, some will have more or less importance depending on what your problem is. For phones, I think personalize might not be as important. It might not come into play as strongly as say essentialize or systemize. I think those are the two heavy hitters for healthier phone habits. Part of what makes you feel like yourself, which is the goal of personalize is less of your phone possibly. So trying to personalize the phone experience, it almost feels counterintuitive. That being said, there could be ways to make the relationship with your phone more fun and personal. So what is enjoyable about it? Lean into the things that you love about your phone. I love reading, it's shocker. So all of my reading apps are on my home screen. Like they're right there. I want them as close to me as they can possibly be. I also love texting and Voxer because I like people. I love staying in touch with my friends. So those are also on my home screen because they matter to me. And I'm not going to put limits on those. Because why would I? Why would I? What makes me feel like myself is reading and staying connected to people. So those are going to be right there. Now you might personalize your relationship with your phone by making, you could make your home screen or your lock screen something that reminds you of what matters, whether it's your family or something having nothing to do with your family. There was one stretch where I was home with tiny children and my lock screen was this really funny painting of Timothy Chalamet. That was my lock screen because I was like, I love pop culture. I need to remember that I love other things than wiping noses and changing diapers or whatever it was. So get the fun pop socket, get the colorful case, do things that are fun and feel personal for you when it's connected to your phone. You can also pay attention to when you feel like yourself during the day, like the time of day, and make a conscious decision about how much you want your phone to be active or inactive during that time. Maybe your phone keeps you from the energy you want to have, or maybe certain apps make that energy better. Only you can know that. I would also encourage you to make choices that support your priorities without worrying about other people too much. That's another way that you can actually personalize your choices. I know that can be challenging for a variety of reasons. In fact, that's what today's pep talk is about. But I do think that a way to personalize your relationship with your phone is to in fact keep it personal. Don't worry about other people's opinions too much. Everyone gets to choose what matters to them. And as long as those choices are not bringing harm to someone else, like feel free to personalize the choice the way you want to, even if it's really, really different from what someone else would choose. Okay, so that's step four, personalize. Don't get hung up if you don't spend very long there. Step five, systemize. So this is our final step. This is the way that we keep things in a flow. It's kind of like where the rubber meets the road. It's a step you want to pay attention to because it's what keeps things moving. So the longer you keep your small solution moving, the more it's going to turn into a habit or something that's really helpful to you, right? Which creates a more consistent relationship with your phone in the direction you want it to be. Think about my Instagram app. Really, that's the main thing that I started to do. There were other small things that I would add in, but the primary choice I made to support my priority of not getting sucked into an algorithm was to slowly begin to limit Instagram. I just kept doing that. I just kept that moving and it picked up speed and moved and moved until again, I'm at 25 minutes on a Monday and I'm great with that. I'm great with that. If I wasn't great with that, I wouldn't make that choice. If I wanted more Instagram, I would find a way to do it. But I actually am happy with less. But that was the main decision that I just kept trying to keep in a flow. I kept trying to systemize that, right? Okay, so let's say your priority is to spend less time on your phone at night before you go to bed, okay? That's your priority, that's what you're aiming for. That's what you've essentialized, all the things. You may be, you've put some time limits in place. You maybe chose like a shorter charger that you can't reach from your bed so you don't lie there and scroll rather than read or just go to sleep. Those are all great things, whatever. But it's really easy to fall back into old habits quickly before the new ones take root. So to that end, maybe for the first few weeks or something, you could make a phone alarm that goes off at 8.30 or whenever you want it to, whenever you want to stop. And the alarm, you can change the name of the alarm. Maybe the name of the alarm is something like reading matters more or going to sleep matters more or whatever it is, whatever you want the alarm, make yourself laugh, but remind yourself every day that you're, you're wanting to choose something different. That's the whole point here. Even though you've already put some boundaries in place, help yourself stay in a flow by remembering what matters, by reminding yourself of why you're doing this in the first place. And if that why doesn't stick, I don't think that's the one to choose. I don't think that's really a priority. Maybe it's something you feel like you should do, but maybe that's actually not enough of a priority to motivate you right now. So go back to step one and start again. See what a priority would be. So some ways that you can systemize. You can decide once. That's one of our favorite lazy genius principles, right? You can decide once, like I did, that a limited number of days a week are my social media days, or you could make it like your news days, you know, that you don't read the news every single day on your app. It's like every other day or every two days or whatever it is you need. You know that the day, the social media day or the news day or whatever it is, it will return again, right? Monday's, Monday's coming again. So that day will come when you get back on Instagram or you, you are, you use your Amazon or your Sephora app to shop or whatever. You're trying not to do that every day because it scrolls and you buy things you don't need. That's just an example. But for now, you have decided once that you are going to use that app on just a set day or several days. So decide once. This is the day I use this and this is the day that I do not. Okay. You can use the Lazy Genius principle, let people in. You can share what you're choosing with a friend who will encourage you. You can treat it like an accountability partner or do something together if you want. But maybe you have a friend who is also trying to not get on her phone right away in the morning and not scroll social media or email the first thing when she wakes up. So maybe instead of that, the two of you are like, we're going to talk on the phone in the morning, or you're going to share what you did first thing in the morning. You're going to take a picture of yourself getting out of bed, or sitting in your cozy chair or making your coffee or something. It's almost like a Marco Polo situation. Let someone else into your choices to help them stay in a flow, if that really helps you. You can also anticipate obstacles, which will keep things flowing. Obstacles are what stop us. So you can anticipate those obstacles by asking yourself the magic question. What can you do now while you're motivated and excited to have a better relationship with your phone? What can you do now to make sticking to whatever choice you make easier later? If you heard the whole like, yeah, I should probably put an alarm clock in my room. I've heard that so many times before. That's probably my best bet. Okay, go grab the random alarm clock that you've got stored in your closet and put it on your nightstand now, instead of waiting until right before bed and you're like rummaging around with your contacts out. You can't find the thing and it's frustrating. And then you are like, this is dumb. And then you don't do it at all, you know? Go get the alarm clock right now. You can go ahead and make the reminder alarm to put your phone down at night or to put your phone down when your kids get home from school. You can go ahead and grab a book from your bookshelf or grab the yarn for your crochet thing or whatever it is to put by your bed or by the couch to remind you later visually. I would rather read, I would rather crochet, I would rather fill in the blank. The point of step five is to make it easier to keep going, to stay in the flow of what you have chosen. Now here's the thing, the smaller your choices, the easier they are to choose. I'm gonna say that one more time, the smaller the choices, the easier they are to choose. This is why we don't make giant systems, you guys. This is why that you don't start with being like, I have, this is a certain number of hours a day and I'm gonna limit seven different apps and then I'm gonna go on a phone detox first though, just so I, no, no. Just make one choice that supports what matters to you. Just do the downtime thing at nine o'clock and call it good. Start as small as you need to and that will actually make it easier to stay in a flow because small steps are easier to do than all these big ones. Like I said, so I decided for my own situation, I decided once that Monday is Instagram Day. After that, it's gone from my phone. I systemized my news because that was also a really hard thing. I was getting a lot of news on Instagram, but it was like, it was news that made me feel a lot of things. Not on my own timeline, right? Like there were some time, it's all things that I want to know about, but not like at 3.30 in the afternoon when I'm kind of hormonal and really struggling already, and it just sort of sends me rolling down the hill. Like I want to be a little bit more in control of when I am reading the news. And actually, that was also a small choice that I made. I don't really listen to the news anymore. I would rather read it because I don't like to hear, I sort of get triggered by certain things. And so reading it is better for me. So I systemize my news by getting Sharon McMahon's Daily Brief email. I just get that. That keeps me off my phone too, which is really nice. It comes at the end of the day. So it's not sort of hijacking the entire day in a way that's very easy for me to do. So I'm still engaged, but doing it kind of on my own timeline based on what matters to me, right? So that's been really, really helpful. I put all, like I said, I put all my reading, music, and communication apps on my home screen, because those are the ones that matter to me, and that's what I want to use my phone for. And everything else that I don't want to see, it's just in folders on other pages. So I have to like go dig for things. That level of organization, that keeps things in a flow for me. So simply do whatever small thing you need, one thing, to support what matters to you. I don't think that creating healthier phone habits is one size fits all, or something that you can do in one fell swoop, like I said. Most of us have to go through like a fairly long process of kind of disentangling ourselves from certain aspects of our phone that we didn't know would insert themselves into our lives so aggressively. So be patient, you know? Be patient. Do one thing at a time. Don't shame yourself for having a hard time with it, or for having different priorities as someone else. But the best way to know where to focus your limited energy in having a better relationship with your phone and learning to develop healthier habits for you is to prioritize or name what matters. The smaller you can make it, the better, okay? Essentialize or get rid of what's in the way. You want to have what you need and not have what you don't. You want to organize or put everything in its place. Personalize so you could feel like yourself, and then systemize it so you can stay in a flow. If you follow those five steps, you keep them small and specific, and you stay kind as you try to see what works. You will be well on your way to healthier phone habits, 100 percent. And that's how to create healthier phone habits. This episode is sponsored by Wayfair. I feel like I don't notice something in my house isn't working until I've worked around it for a little while, like moving the same thing out of the way every day, or avoiding a spot because it's not very comfortable, or realizing no one ever sits in that one chair. And eventually I hit a point where I'm like, okay, I'm done with this. And that's usually when I end up on Wayfair. I can get pretty specific about what I need there, which I like. I'll filter things down, read reviews, look at photos from other people's homes, and get a sense of what it's actually going to be like in real life. I got a leather upholstered bench for the foot of our bed. Now I have somewhere to sit when I'm putting my socks on. And it's one of those things we use every day without really thinking about it. And even though we use it for those middle ground, are they dirty, are they clean clothes? The bench is so pretty, the clothes don't even bother me that much. Way Day is the sale to shop the best deals in home. We're talking up to 80% off with fast and free shipping on everything. Head to wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Way Day. That's wayfair.com, Wayfair. Every style, every home. This episode is sponsored by the Flex of Gold Journal. If you're a mom, you probably don't need help remembering the hard parts of your day. It's the small good moments that tend to slip through. The Flex of Gold Journal was made with that in mind. It's a one-line-a-day journal you keep for three years. It takes less than two minutes, and all you're doing is writing down one small good moment from your day. And over time, that starts to add up. Because as you write today's moment, you can also look back at what you wrote on the same day last year and the year before, and get to remember things you would have completely forgotten. It's also beautifully made, vegan leather or linen hardcover, and it's designed to live somewhere you'll actually see it, like your nightstand. Mother's Day is May 10th. If you've been wanting something meaningful, this could be it. Go to 3in30podcast.com/gold and use code LAZY10 at checkout for 10% off. That's the number 3IN, the number 3-0, podcast.com/gold, code LAZY10. Mother's Day is May 10th. Order soon so it arrives in time. All right, let's get in today's a little extra something. These are my most used phone apps. You're going to be shocked at what they are based on what I said in the episode already. But I also feel like this might be a little boring, which is kind of a funny disclaimer. But I think if someone that I listen to was like, hey, here's the apps I use every day, I'd be like, oh, I want to know. That's why I'm sharing them. OK, so I regularly use all the basics, right? Phone, text, email, maps. Gosh, do I need maps? Your girl gets lost everywhere. I use Google Drive because I use that for personal stuff and work stuff. I use that a lot. Notes, the clock because of like alarms and timers. I need my clock for my 17 minute nap. And photo and camera, you know, no surprises, all the basics. There are some other like normal life apps that I use, like the weather app. I use the weather channel. My husband uses AccuWeather and thinks that my choice is far inferior, but he can think that if he wants. I use my White Noise app for like nighttime when I go to sleep for my 17 minute naps. I use Overcast for podcast listening. I use Spotify for music. I have apps for grocery ordering. I have the Road Ready app to track my son's driving hours. I use New York Times Cooking for recipes and New York Times Games, obviously, because you got to play Wordle and Connections and Strands every day. I used to play Pips every day. I really like Pips, but it almost like it made me more stressed out in a way that I didn't really love. So I kind of I don't play Pips every day. I have to be like to be in the right mindset to play Pips. And then like, and also Andy and I both love to play Connections together. So you know, that's we got to have the New York Times Game app close by. Okay, so those are those are like the normals kind of this the standards. Slightly surprising apps that I use a lot, slightly like every day. Like these are apps I use every day. I use the Merlin Bird ID app. I have mentioned that app before. It's so good. It is an app that takes a recording of your surroundings. It's like a live recording and it identifies all the bird song. So and you know, I love my birds. So it's so much fun. I'm trying to learn, like trying to identify birds by their calls. I'm not super great at it yet. I just don't think I remember auditory things very well, but it's still really fun to try. Also, Annie and I will, we love to turn the app on and let it run when we're walking to school, when it's warm enough to walk to school and like see how many different bird species we can hear. So on like temperate mornings, I will also crack open my window by my reading chair when I'm having like time for my soul and I'll turn on the app to hear what birds are up early and chirping with me. I love the app. I love it so much. Merlin, like the wizard. I don't know why they call it Merlin, but anyway, the Merlin app is tremendous. Another app that I use regularly is the 5 Calls app. That helps me call my representatives more easily. I mentioned that in an episode a couple of weeks ago during a different, a little extra something about how to call your representatives, but keeping that app on the front page, it just helps remind me to do it. I weirdly love the Voice Memos app. That's like the native voice recording app that comes on Apple phones. I use it a lot. I use it pretty much every day. So because I'm a verbal processor, sometimes I just need to like talk. I just need to get some words out to figure out what I think about something, to find an idea, to land on a conclusion. And so I just need to like talk where I can listen back if I need to. I usually actually delete them right away because I get to the end. And I'm like, oh, there we go. Got it. But somehow recording, it really helps because I may have like ideas in there, in the processing that I don't want to lose. So it's nice to put them somewhere so I don't forget them like in a Voice Memos app. So I'll save certain conversations I have with myself. Let's walk away from that. Okay, I also use the Voice Recording app to capture songs that I've written or melodies I want to try. That's something I do a lot. I use the app to record when the kids are like just laughing or when they're like playing music. I just have like a number of little, like weird little audio recordings from regular life. And I love it. I love it so much. I once recorded when Ben was like six. Oh, can I add a little bit of this to the episode?

Speaker 2:
[53:36] Hold, please.

Speaker 1:
[53:37] Okay, wait. So you want me to make a camp for boys and girls, sorry. For boys and girls who are scared of bees. Okay. What are the levels?

Speaker 2:
[53:47] Like training. Level one, Bumblebee. Level two, Carpenter Bee. Level three, Honeybee. Level four, Wasp. Level five, a Hornet.

Speaker 1:
[54:02] What about like Yellow Jacket? Where's the Yellow Jacket go?

Speaker 2:
[54:05] And level six, Yellow Jacket. Since Hornets seem a little bit less terrifying than a Yellow Jacket, and you can make them out of, and you can grow it like, I feel like it would be weird if you could like tame those things and make them, I feel like you should make the big beads.

Speaker 1:
[54:30] Yeah, how do you do training? Like how do I, how would I do that? Like what would we do in the camp?

Speaker 2:
[54:42] I'm kind of biting it, just a little bit.

Speaker 1:
[54:44] You're biting it, you're licking it. Well, you think about that, and you let me know if you've got any ideas.

Speaker 2:
[54:49] I think I'll sit in the sun. Okay. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:
[54:54] I can't handle it.

Speaker 3:
[54:56] I can't handle it.

Speaker 1:
[54:57] And he just sit there eating her lollipop. Ben doesn't know how he wants to finish the bee training. So he's like, I'm gonna go sit in the sun. Y'all, this is why he's, the voice memo app. I've got so many of these, just like little, when the kids just start talking. It's the best thing ever. Like this is why I'm like, I want us to keep my phone. I don't have the, I mean, I could have like a little hand held, hand tape recorder, but come on. Like what a gift to be able to just grab that and then listen to it anytime. Like, I hope you know that I think phones are really incredible tools when they support what matters to you and remembering Ben's idea for bee training for kids who are scared of bees. It's like the greatest joy of my whole actual life. Okay, okay. One thing you do want to do is to label these, like this clip, I was able to find it in two seconds because it's called Ben's idea for bee training. So that is one thing with your voice mimosas to do it. Oh my gosh, what a fun discovery that was today. Okay, of course I'm not gonna be able to recover from that. Okay, of course my most used apps are all my reading apps. So some of them are in a folder on the first screen and then some are just out. On the screen, like out, where I can just tap it, it's my Kindle app, it's Libby where I get all my library holds and then both Chirp and Audible, which I use both of those for listening to audio books. Then I have a reading folder that has four more reading apps. It has two subscription apps, Book of the Month and Aardvark Book Club, and then two tracking apps. First, I use Book Buddy to log every single book I read and every single book I have not read but I own, either on my physical bookshelves or my Kindle bookshelves. For books I read, I give it a star rating, I list any relevant info I want to remember, and then the most fun thing to me about this app is I get to scroll by book cover. Like, I'm just scrolling book covers, man, with nothing else, no words. It's just book covers, endless scrolls of book covers. It's like my favorite thing ever. It makes me so happy. It's kind of like Goodreads, I guess. I don't use Goodreads, but it's private and I think it's prettier, at least to me, so I just really, really love it. Then for tracking, I use Trello. That's the other thing I use for tracking. That is more just like titles and dates when I finish the book, and it also, that's how I rank my favorite books of the year. So I wrote a blog post about this ages ago, which we can link to in the show notes, but I essentially have two lists that I keep per year. One is what I read in chronological order, and then the other is what I read in order of favorites. So when I finish a book, I add it as a card. That's what they call it in Trello. I add as a card to the 2026 in order list on my board, on my Trello board. Then I copy that card, and I add it to the favorites 2026 list, and then I put it in the right place. Ordering books by favorite is something that I really like doing. It makes end of year lists so much easier to create because they're essentially done. And by doing it one at a time as I read, it's really not very overwhelming, right? Also, when I copy the card from the timeline list to the favorites list, I'm given the option on Trello to choose where that new card should go, like what number out of how many cards are there, like where should it go? And my favorite game is to guess what number I think this book will, like where it will fall in my favorites. And then copy the card to that spot and then just like see how close I am. I usually have to move the card only two or three spots either direction max on the favorites list, but it's like the greatest delight when I hit the bullseye and I'm like, yes, like I feel like I know my reading self really well when that happens. I'm like, you know, this feels like this is my 27th favorite book of the year. And then it is. It's so dumb, but it's so fun. Okay, so those are some of my favorite apps. And also you got to hear Ben's idea for bee training. So that is today's a little extra something. Okay, this week's Lazy Genius of the Week is Amanda from New Jersey. Amanda writes, I have two unrelated struggle areas in my life, and I figured out a way to combine them and solve both problems. Yes, I love this. I absolutely hate folding laundry. I often walk away in the middle of it or just avoid it for days or weeks until it's too big to handle. I also live far away from a lot of people I care about, and while I value talking to them on the phone often, I find it hard to remember to call or make time amongst other things. I also tend to get sidetracked or distracted during calls because I find it hard to sit still, so I'm not giving them my full attention. So I made a rule for myself. Whenever there's laundry to fold, I call a family member or friend, usually my mom, and I have to fold while we chat. This means that I'm automatically reminded at least once a week to call someone because that's when laundry is done. I finish folding everything in one sitting, and I'm able to give my loved ones my undivided attention because my hands and body are busy doing a thoughtless task. Wins all around. Well, no notes here. Great idea. Great problem solving. Great attitude about both struggles. I just love this, Amanda. I bet a lot of people will feel really encouraged by your solution and maybe have some creative juices flowing about what's going to work for them. So thank you so much for sharing this tremendously genius idea, and congratulations on being the Lazy Genius of the Week. All right. Let's close with a mini pep talk for when you make uncommon choices. Uncommon choices can be lonely. You don't use a smartphone at all, or your kids don't have one yet and they're teenagers. You don't use social media. You live super simply and frugally now, so that you can retire like 10 or 15 years earlier than other people. You only fly standby, or you only fly first class. You're a Christian who doesn't go to church. You don't eat organic strawberries like you're apparently supposed to. You don't do cardio, or you don't lift weights, or you don't read books, or you don't watch TV. I have a friend who has never seen The Great British Baking Show, and I'm almost offended by it. I know that's silly and like kind of a joke, but isn't that so often true when someone chooses something that is in opposition to what we have thoughtfully chosen or what we enjoy, it can sometimes feel really personal, even a betrayal depending on how close you are to that person. If you are the person making the opposing choice, it can feel lonely. The first thing I want to say is you're never alone as you think. Other people are making uncommon choices too, based on what matters to them, and everyone is allowed to do that. Now, certain choices definitely come with like social, relational, even cultural consequences. But like in general, everyone is entitled to make whatever choice suits them best, you know? There are sometimes prices to pay, but you're allowed to choose what matters most to you and pay that price. But even when you hold fast to why you're choosing something unusual, it can still feel lonely. My boys have gone through hard periods over not having phones yet, and early on it was the hardest. My boys are 14 and 16 and they still don't have phones. They have watches, but they don't have phones yet. But I will say when they connected with peers who also didn't have phones yet, it really made it so much easier. The same was true for me as a mom. I have some friends who are really invested in keeping phones out of their kids' hands for as long as possible, and it makes that choice easier to bear because we're bearing it together. If you don't have anyone in your regular life who has made the same choice, maybe look for someone or even a friend online who can kind of be your support buddy so you don't feel so alone. You don't have to be anti the other thing, or if you're on the other side of an uncommon choice, you don't have to see the other person as being anti the uncommon thing. You can just be grounded in whatever you choose. You can be kind to others who feel differently and be kind to yourself as you navigate that potential loneliness and look for partners and companions along the way. Now if loneliness makes you feel defensive and hardened, which is understandable, my encouragement to you is to let go of being perceived as right. You don't need to take the mantle of convincing other people about your choice unless you just really want to. But you don't have to explain yourself or defend your choice. You can simply say, you know, this is what works for me, or this is what works for my family. No worries if it doesn't work for yours and just move on. Ultimately, I think we want a world where people are making intentional, thoughtful choices that support what matters to them. In those daily rhythmic choices, the ones where we go against the flow a little to support what matters to us, that's a good thing. It's good to live in a world where people challenge the norm, where people show another way, where someone you know makes a different choice than you about cell phones or whatever, and you can still be friends. Be kind in your loneliness, and also turn it into an opportunity to ease the loneliness of someone else. Figuring out how to make your uncommon choice together. And that is a mini pep talk for when you make uncommon choices. If this episode was helpful to you or if you've been looking for a way to support the show, please share this episode with someone you know, or leave a kind review on Apple Podcasts. Every mention and share makes a difference in turning more people into lazy geniuses, so thank you so much for your support. This podcast is part of the Odyssey family and the Office Ladies Network. This episode is hosted by me, Kendra Adachi, an executive produced by Kendra Adachi, Jenna Fisher, and Angela Kinsey. Special thanks to Leah Jarvis for weekly production. If you'd like a podcast recap every other week, be sure to sign up for the latest Lazy Listens email that goes out every other Friday. Head to thelazygeniuscollective.com/listens to get it. Thanks y'all for listening and until next time, be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. I'm Kendra. I'll see you next week.

Speaker 3:
[66:37] Hi, my name is Lloyd Lockridge, and I'm the host of a new podcast from Odyssey called Family Lore. In this podcast, I'm going to have people on to tell unusual and sometimes far-fetched stories about their families.

Speaker 2:
[66:48] I've heard my whole life that she invented the margarita.

Speaker 3:
[66:51] And then we're going to investigate those stories and find out how much of it is true.

Speaker 1:
[66:55] He gets a patent one month before the Wright brothers.

Speaker 3:
[66:57] Oh my God. Please follow and listen to Family Lore, an Odyssey podcast available now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your shows.

Speaker 1:
[67:07] This episode is sponsored by Ello. You're probably not drinking enough water. I'm probably not either. We all mean to and then we don't. That's where Ello comes in. They make the viral water bottles and tumblers you've seen all over Instagram and TikTok, but they're not just cute. They're designed to make daily routines easier. Their Oasis Tumbler has a lid that twists to tuck the straw away so it stays clean and totally leak proof. And the Pop and Fill Bottle has a push button lid so you can refill it without unscrewing the top. If you're in a meal prepping or love leftovers, their leak proof glass containers are made for life on the go, not leaks in your bag. Ello's mission is replacing single use plastics with reusable products that look good, work well and last. Plus, they're backed by a limited lifetime warranty. Visit elloproducts.com and use code TRYELLO20 for 20% off your first purchase. That's E-L-L-O, products.com, code TRYELLO20 for 20% off your first L-O purchase.