transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] LifeLock, how can I help?

Speaker 2:
[00:02] The IRS said I filed my return, but I haven't.

Speaker 3:
[00:04] One in four tax-paying Americans has paid the price of identity fraud. What do I do? My refund, though. I'm freaking out. Don't worry, I can fix this. LifeLock fixes identity theft guaranteed and gets your money back with up to $3 million in coverage.

Speaker 1:
[00:17] I'm so relieved.

Speaker 3:
[00:18] No problem. I'll be with you every step of the way. One in four was a fraud-paying American, not anymore. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com/podcast. Terms apply.

Speaker 2:
[00:30] It's springtime around here. You know that. Because you can see the bees. The bees are out there. Go see them. They're just bee, just bee and bees. And we're running a spring sale. That's what we're doing. In honor of spring, we're being on sale. We've got a mix of tees, hoodies and hats, all 20% off right now. And there's a limited quantity left on the year of the rat hoodies is one right here. I wear it. I love it. My favorite type of hoodie. That's the only time only type we're selling anymore is my favorite type. All that and more available at thevonstore.com. I hope everyone is having a good day and thank you for your support. Today's guest is a stand up comedian. He's one half of the Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. He's the shaman. He is. He's on a higher frequency. He operates in a special realm and he's on the road soon. So if you get a chance, I recommend that you go see him. It's just, if you even get to spend time with this guy, it's a smart choice. I'm thankful to be able to do that today. My guest is Mr. Matt McCusker.

Speaker 1:
[02:06] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[02:06] It's all crap out of my pockets.

Speaker 2:
[02:08] Oh, dude, that's one thing. Bro, how much shit do guys start? And I'm a guy.

Speaker 1:
[02:14] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[02:14] And it's like the shit we start to have in our pockets. Look at that. You have glasses around the neck. The phone.

Speaker 4:
[02:22] Phone, wallet, keys.

Speaker 2:
[02:24] I need an upper, I need a downer.

Speaker 1:
[02:26] You need the little naked thing.

Speaker 2:
[02:28] You got BC powders, you're.

Speaker 4:
[02:30] We need pocketbooks, dude. Some guys have already adopted pocketbook technology. We need all this. Guys, the purse, whatever.

Speaker 1:
[02:38] Pocketbook.

Speaker 2:
[02:38] Oh, that thing.

Speaker 4:
[02:39] Yeah, yep, yep.

Speaker 2:
[02:40] That fanny pack that people wear around their heart or whatever.

Speaker 1:
[02:42] Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[02:44] They're satchel.

Speaker 2:
[02:45] That's a weird one, though, like the fanny pack on the heart. That guy's always like, what's going on here?

Speaker 4:
[02:51] I think you have to like, if you're going to have one, you have to have a gun in there just so you can maintain.

Speaker 1:
[02:56] You know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[02:57] But one of those little guns or whatever?

Speaker 4:
[02:58] Yeah, I think a tiny like James Bond, like a little 38, a little snub.

Speaker 2:
[03:06] I mean, nice. Hey, good to see you, bro.

Speaker 1:
[03:08] Pleasure to see you, man.

Speaker 2:
[03:09] Yeah. Congrats on everything, bro.

Speaker 4:
[03:10] Thank you, man.

Speaker 2:
[03:11] Yeah. You guys' podcast is crushing it. And you're on tour right now, too. Yeah. Yep.

Speaker 4:
[03:15] Yep. Yeah. I got to where am I going? I'm going to, I know I have Phoenix. Phoenix is haunting me. I don't know what's up with the city of Phoenix. I got to do the Celebrity Theater. So it's like the little one in the round. Yeah. I hope that's full. Otherwise, we're going to have like a semicircle. It's going to be, that'd be pretty bad if I couldn't do the ramp. I can only do like 270 degrees.

Speaker 1:
[03:38] Just to you.

Speaker 2:
[03:40] So, yeah, I get to Phoenix and go support that one, guys, in Phoenix.

Speaker 1:
[03:43] Yeah, man.

Speaker 4:
[03:44] And then everywhere else. But yeah, man, I've been good, man. Just chilling.

Speaker 2:
[03:46] Yeah, pull up Matt's stage just so we have him, please.

Speaker 4:
[03:48] Yes, thank you.

Speaker 2:
[03:50] Oh, there we go.

Speaker 4:
[03:50] St. Paul, there we go. St. Paul.

Speaker 2:
[03:53] Yeah, where are you at in this thing?

Speaker 4:
[03:54] I'm towards the end. I'm at the bottom half or the bottom like quarter here.

Speaker 2:
[03:58] Okay. St. Paul, Indianapolis.

Speaker 4:
[04:00] Yep, I got Des Moines. Yeah, yeah, St. Paul, Des Moines, Phoenix, Tucson, Toronto and Chicago.

Speaker 2:
[04:05] Oh yeah, you got Des Moines. You got Des Moines, obviously a black guy.

Speaker 4:
[04:10] Des Moines. Let's just say that, dude.

Speaker 2:
[04:15] But there's not a lot of them there because you expect to see them when you get there.

Speaker 4:
[04:18] Des Moines, I think he invented jelly.

Speaker 1:
[04:20] One guy did peanut butter and he did jelly.

Speaker 2:
[04:23] Yeah, Des Moines, please.

Speaker 1:
[04:25] What the hell is it?

Speaker 2:
[04:26] Tucson, bro.

Speaker 4:
[04:27] Tucson's huge.

Speaker 2:
[04:28] Great place to get some coral. What's that blue coral, that rock? It's a lot of older women wear it. The silver and the coral.

Speaker 4:
[04:39] Is it good for like a magnetic bracelet you're talking about?

Speaker 2:
[04:42] Yeah, those types of people. A lot of people, a lot of copper and opal or whatever.

Speaker 4:
[04:47] OK.

Speaker 2:
[04:47] What's the blue stone? Yeah, it's a lot of that shit out there. A lot of people missing arms.

Speaker 4:
[04:52] Oh, OK. It's like the mystical end of Arizona. There's like the guys with their pants up to here, Marizonians, and there's like, yeah, I got you.

Speaker 2:
[05:00] It's shaman country, dude. You think those would be your vibes over there?

Speaker 4:
[05:02] Yeah, I've never been to Tucson yet. Phoenix, I'm telling you, I like Phoenix. It's just, I don't know why. It's always, it's always, there's always cities I have that tickets go great. There's other cities where they're like a slog.

Speaker 2:
[05:12] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[05:13] Phoenix tradition just like historically has been a slog. It's OK. I just accept it. It is what it is. It's just Phoenix. That's my Phoenix experience.

Speaker 2:
[05:20] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[05:20] So.

Speaker 2:
[05:21] Dang, dude. Yeah, I think for something like that for me, you're like Minneapolis, Puerto Rico.

Speaker 4:
[05:26] Puerto Rico.

Speaker 2:
[05:26] You sell tickets in Puerto Rico, I noticed.

Speaker 1:
[05:28] Really?

Speaker 2:
[05:28] Yeah. On my PR.

Speaker 4:
[05:31] That kind of surprises me, honest. I feel like you would rock the PR ticket market.

Speaker 1:
[05:36] Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of me, too. The Boletas.

Speaker 2:
[05:43] Yeah, dude. Great to see you, bro. What's cracking? What's new right now in your world, man?

Speaker 4:
[05:47] Dude, the only thing I can even it's boring, but it's just gardening. I've been gardening nonstop. I got ahead of it this year. Last year, I planned it when it was already too hot. Everything got scorched. So I got some blackberries and raspberries I'm waiting on.

Speaker 1:
[06:00] So really?

Speaker 4:
[06:01] Yeah, I've been a big I've been I've been big on that man trying to grow stuff. I got garlic coming.

Speaker 2:
[06:05] So so blackberries and garlic. And this is all in your own yard.

Speaker 4:
[06:09] That's my garden. Yeah, that's it's been revamped. The hailstorm destroyed my blueberry bushes. Yeah, it's in my little backyard.

Speaker 2:
[06:16] But you're making the most out of it. Now, can you feed your family here?

Speaker 4:
[06:19] No, dude, it's so sad. So that's a blueberry bush. It got destroyed in the hailstorm. That one's coming back to life as well.

Speaker 2:
[06:25] And is there any reward from the government subsidize this kind of shit or whatever?

Speaker 4:
[06:30] I should get some sort of subsidy. But there we had a blueberry bush and we had it produced one, literally one blueberry. The first time I did it and me and my whole family cut it into fours.

Speaker 1:
[06:39] We each had a fourth of blueberry.

Speaker 4:
[06:42] We would be dead if I actually had a farm, we would all be dead. I've gotten like five radishes, one blueberry and the raspberries were flowing, man. And then just the hailstorm wiped, just completely wiped me out.

Speaker 2:
[06:53] So and was there stuff you could have done in advance to prepare for that? Because I mean, does it feel like the plants look to you for like the leadership or you don't feel that at all? I am I've never had a garden yet.

Speaker 4:
[07:03] Yeah. So here's the thing. You can be like that. There's a lot of doting mother type gardeners. I'm a stern father. If you can't pull your own, you die. I need I need producers. I need people who are going to adapt to the elements like I'm not going to baby any of these plants like Stalin. Yeah, completely. It's it's a completely totalitarian system. My wife said, well, bring that one in. I'm like, if I can't handle the sun is dead. Yeah, I'll get someone who can handle the sun. I'm not out here babying these plants, but I got kids. I'm not worried about a plant. Yeah, I got to see her cry about a beanstalk is dead. Pull it out. Yeah. Throw it in the compost next. So I run a ruthless guard. It's completely ruthless. I had a rat that just died.

Speaker 2:
[07:36] Did you fuck him?

Speaker 4:
[07:38] Dude, he was. That's the thing with gardening. It does kind of connects you to like a real life or death thing, because it's like, you know, I don't want to kill. I don't want to kill an animal. But then it starts eating like, you know, starts just munching all your leafy greens. And you're like, I'm not about to grow food for a rat. That's bullshit. So then like, I had a guy come out and the guy gave, it was like an exterminator. And this stuff he gave it, he's like, dude, this stuff's the real deal. Don't let your dogs get it. Because my dog had eaten rat poison once. No problem. Survived. And I was like, yeah, he'll be all right. He's like, no, this shit is like fiberglass in it. So when the rat eats the poison, the fiberglass cuts his lungs and he starts like drowning in his own blood.

Speaker 2:
[08:15] Who created this? Netanyahu?

Speaker 4:
[08:19] I think so.

Speaker 2:
[08:22] That's the same stuff they were putting in the Palestinians' food that they were giving them. Which is fucking heartbreaking.

Speaker 4:
[08:28] That's a fair point.

Speaker 2:
[08:30] And why are they trying to kill him so hard?

Speaker 4:
[08:33] Dude, well, they just like, that's their job, man. They're like, because if they half step it and you still have rats, you're going to call them all pissed off. So like, the poison messes them up, but the like fiberglass or whatever really makes sure they die no matter what. And also rats won't die around the colony. They'll, like a dog, they'll run off and find solitude and die. And we got rid of this chair recently. So, you know, it was like hogging up the space in our backyard. And we lifted it up. There was a dead rat, one of the dead rats back there had been laying there so long. I picked it up, dude, its face was gone. It like really like kind of fucked me up. Like it was yesterday. I picked it up. I had like, you know, two sticks put together. And I was like, this thing's been sitting for a while. Let me peep its face to just avoid where its face was. Like things ate its face. Yeah. Just a hole for where its face was. And I was like, damn, it was fucked me up.

Speaker 2:
[09:21] Fuck, you're living in a damn saw episode over there.

Speaker 4:
[09:25] Dude, gardening is crazy.

Speaker 2:
[09:26] Where are you gardening at?

Speaker 4:
[09:28] Just my backyard.

Speaker 2:
[09:29] Transylvania, dude.

Speaker 1:
[09:30] It just sounds insane, bro.

Speaker 4:
[09:33] Gardening is crazy, though, because you get like you have little spider allies. I see my spider, my orb weavers in my garden. I kind of they're like they're on my team fighting the bugs, the rats. I'm trying to fight the rats, but we got them, I think, under control.

Speaker 2:
[09:45] How did you know that you were having issues with the rats?

Speaker 4:
[09:49] I'd see them right in my face, just munching my shit. I'd like open the door and I'd just be munching my shit.

Speaker 2:
[09:53] Oh, yeah, we ballsy.

Speaker 4:
[09:55] I would see them, I'd be like, what the fuck? They are kind of cute, though. They're called cotton rats. So they're these big guys and they have these like they have these really furry coats. I kind of like them. But then they started shitting in my grill and I was like, we're done. Yeah, they honestly I would have tolerated them, but they completely overpushed, overstepped their boundaries. There we go. Dude, there he is. That's the exact guy. Imagine one of those guys, no face, hole for a face.

Speaker 2:
[10:20] Zoom in on him.

Speaker 4:
[10:22] Look at that little guy, little fat little hairy guy. Look like gerbils almost.

Speaker 2:
[10:25] Yeah, it's that little floor bear.

Speaker 4:
[10:26] Yeah, he's munching on somebody's fucking herbs right now.

Speaker 2:
[10:29] One of God's little McNuggets, them little thing.

Speaker 1:
[10:32] Yeah, dude, they are.

Speaker 2:
[10:33] Show they're thick, huh?

Speaker 4:
[10:34] They're thick as hell. They had a burrow underneath my little porch in the back of my garden. And also people were like, oh, just dump cayenne peppers, all this. Dude, I dumped like, I got like four pounds of red pepper flakes, just laced the whole garden. Dude, that guy was just sitting in a bed of it. I'm like, man, get out of here with this bullshit. Give me the fiberglass poison.

Speaker 2:
[10:53] There's always all those tricks, dude. Like if you'll siphon some piss out of a senior citizen or something and put it out there, yeah, rub a baby's ass on the fucking stair rails or whatever, nobody will fall down. Nobody will get hurt.

Speaker 4:
[11:06] It doesn't work. It doesn't work. The exterminators come, not even the Home Depot. And I don't want to mess up Home Depot.

Speaker 2:
[11:11] No, but let's talk about them. They're not.

Speaker 4:
[11:13] That shit, none of that stuff works. You need a professional exterminator and they have like, like Dr. Evil weapons. That's the only thing that gets them.

Speaker 2:
[11:20] Well, did you get one of those guys who comes and he's tatted and he's like, has all his like AA years of recovery, fucking medallions around his neck and he's.

Speaker 4:
[11:30] Ideally, that's what you want.

Speaker 2:
[11:31] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[11:32] But this guy is pretty chill. He's pretty clean, but he you could tell he's been around. He's been around the stuff for a while. The other guy I know got bit by a rattlesnake, literally got bit. He drove himself to the hospital.

Speaker 1:
[11:41] Fuck, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[11:43] That's boss shit, bro.

Speaker 4:
[11:44] It's crazy. I get nothing but love for exterminators. Do you ever have like a horrible infestation of any kind?

Speaker 2:
[11:52] Just these hoes.

Speaker 1:
[11:53] True, you know, basically.

Speaker 2:
[11:56] That's how I was just making a meme clip. That was basically just, so.

Speaker 4:
[12:00] Oh, he needs a strong hand for that.

Speaker 2:
[12:02] But no, I never had anything like that. You know, I actually, you know what? Break up some of these exterminators first. I want to see some of these.

Speaker 4:
[12:08] Yeah, let's act. Good call.

Speaker 2:
[12:09] Let's get a gander at some of these America's top 10 most extreme exterminators, including women. There we go. A lot of these bitches will kill anything. They go around.

Speaker 4:
[12:20] There we go. Look at that guy. Look at extreme.

Speaker 2:
[12:22] Yeah. Look at that fucking guy right there. Sandblasting up on me.

Speaker 4:
[12:28] Yeah, they're giving this is... I need to see the real guys. This is the fucking... It's like the stock footage.

Speaker 2:
[12:34] Yeah, it's all T.Mu shit, man.

Speaker 4:
[12:35] Yeah. No, it's none of the exterminators look like these guys. These are male models.

Speaker 2:
[12:39] Yeah. I mean, there's Billy the Exterminator. There's that guy and he passed away.

Speaker 4:
[12:43] Did he really?

Speaker 2:
[12:43] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[12:44] Dude, short shelf life on those guys. I mean, you're literally dealing in poison.

Speaker 2:
[12:48] You're out there just fucking spraying glyphosate on everything. You're out there.

Speaker 4:
[12:52] Those bug bombs, what they do is they inhibit reproductive systems. So like when a guy had fleas and I had to do a bug bomb, the Home Depot was bullshit. So I got the real guy who came out. And when I did the first one, I lit it all. You pull the thing and it's supposed to give you 10 seconds. It just exploded in my face. So I just got drenched in this shit and had to run outside.

Speaker 2:
[13:10] Did you get it on the 4th of July place where you get that bitch tested? Because they'll put those things in together, dude.

Speaker 4:
[13:18] They just, you can't reproduce. So it just like scorches bug genitals. And then they just have to watch like the apocalypse. There's like colony of them.

Speaker 2:
[13:27] Is this Palantir online? Where are you? I just can't believe you're involved in all this, dude. And your children are what's sleeping inside?

Speaker 4:
[13:36] Well, I came in from like talking to the exterminator and I'm like, bro, this rat poison is crazy. I forgot my two daughters were there. And I'm like, yeah, there's little mice. And they like watch it play. And I was like, oh, the mouse is back. I'm like, what it does is it cuts their lungs and they drown in their own blood. My wife's like, chill, dude.

Speaker 1:
[13:50] I'm like, my bad, my bad, my bad.

Speaker 2:
[13:54] Are you part of a group with The Gardening or how?

Speaker 4:
[13:56] I'm lone wolf. I have thought about joining a group, but I'm like, you ever, when you ever do something like that, it's just it's too much human interaction for me. I just I like to like figure it out by myself. Maybe maybe one mentor would be good. A whole group. There's bound to be someone I don't like.

Speaker 1:
[14:11] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[14:11] I'm going to be battling. I'm like, no, thank you.

Speaker 2:
[14:14] Some guy trying to get you to buy his soil or some other thing, something like that.

Speaker 4:
[14:18] Or just just just a run of the mill know it all.

Speaker 1:
[14:20] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[14:20] Any any adult, any group of just adults together, there's going to be at least one, if not two, like unbearable guys usually. Like you're like adult education. There's always one person who's going to raise your hand, talk for 10 minutes every time. It's just like, bro, shut up, man.

Speaker 2:
[14:36] Or when you go to like that DUI course, there's some guy who's like, you know, like he's never going to drink and drive again, dude. First of all, one of God's rules is nobody gets just one DWI.

Speaker 4:
[14:48] I know. I know. Everyone, everyone needs to get one. My friend, it was funny, it was a couple of years ago, but he had one, I think he was the last one to get one. But his brother had one and his dad had one. And they're all at like family Christmas party with extended family and he like, they're all drinking beer and he like cheers them like, hey, the three, we all have DUI's guys. And I think his dad was trying to keep his under wraps.

Speaker 1:
[15:11] Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 4:
[15:13] You get a DUI's cheers and you know, thought he would go over better, but.

Speaker 2:
[15:16] Dude, there's nothing sadder than a dad getting a DUI on his way home from work and he's been drinking or whatever.

Speaker 4:
[15:22] They get them, man. I know a lot of guys who just quietly get them and you're like, all right, all right, you got me, you got me. They drive dry. Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[15:30] Oh, my stepdad got one. My dad would be drunk. He would park his car just like wherever it kind of stopped by our gate or whatever. So my mom would fucking be out there yelling at this 77 year old man who's just unconscious in a white fucking LTD that he was not even at a certain point, dude, he wasn't strong enough to get the door back open once he got in. So sometimes he'd get in there and he'd get home from work and we didn't know. We'd be inside and we'd slumped, leave him out there all night. It's crazy, dude.

Speaker 4:
[16:01] Well, dude, that's the thing. They were allowed to drink and drive. Like drinking and driving was like, like my dad is almost 70 and like when they were in high school, cops would pull, you'd be hammered driving a car and they'd be like, come on, man, get the hell, take your beer and be like, get out of here. Yeah. You didn't get in trouble for it. So all of a sudden now it's criminalized. Fucking woke bullshit.

Speaker 2:
[16:20] It's a good point.

Speaker 4:
[16:22] It's pretty bad. It's very dangerous. There we go.

Speaker 2:
[16:25] Who's this guy?

Speaker 4:
[16:26] That's a sterminator.

Speaker 2:
[16:27] And if he has a church behind him, he means it. Who is he? That's AI? Well, I think if you just go to YouTube, say you put in like Tucson, extreme exterminator. If you go to some of those places and just look for some, try to make it by city or whatever you have to do to see if you can come up with some.

Speaker 4:
[16:43] Yeah, let's get some organic.

Speaker 2:
[16:44] Yeah, it'd be nice if by the end we had some.

Speaker 4:
[16:46] Damn, exterminators are really, they keep themselves hidden.

Speaker 2:
[16:50] Well, I think first of all, I wonder if that's a dying game.

Speaker 4:
[16:53] I don't think so, man, because it's like, is it running the family?

Speaker 2:
[16:56] Because a lot of times you'll be like, my dad was a fireman, I'm a fireman, and then the third kid is like, I'm just fat or whatever.

Speaker 4:
[17:03] Yeah, true, yeah, no, that's...

Speaker 2:
[17:05] But there's always that lineage, I love hot dogs, my dad loved hot dogs, my son loves hot dogs, and then you have a gay son.

Speaker 4:
[17:12] Yes, who really likes hot dogs. Yeah, dude, I think it's just like one of those, it's just one of those gigs. I think it's just like a get out of jail gig, and you do it, especially if you do it for yourself, that's what a lot of them, it's just like a business you can get into, it's like cleaning. You can start a cleaning company pretty easily. It's very low overhead.

Speaker 2:
[17:32] A lot of strippers do it.

Speaker 4:
[17:34] Yeah, that's actually a great move.

Speaker 2:
[17:37] It's like a reentry program into, I've hung out with a lot of strippers, me even made out in their cars sometimes, and you'll have a mop handle coming across your shoulder and shit.

Speaker 4:
[17:47] That's where you know they're on the ascension.

Speaker 2:
[17:48] Oh yeah.

Speaker 4:
[17:49] You see that, this is actually a good sign.

Speaker 2:
[17:51] This lady's got her act together.

Speaker 4:
[17:53] You hop in, there's a nine-month-old in the car seat, you're like, bad sign.

Speaker 1:
[17:55] This lady needs a mop.

Speaker 2:
[17:57] He's sleeping on a pack of Swiffer replacement covers.

Speaker 4:
[18:02] I tried my hand at stripper dating, wasn't I? I had nothing against them. I just wasn't cut out for it. It was a little too rough and tumble for me.

Speaker 2:
[18:09] You have to be a boss. You have to also work late hours. To be a stripper's boyfriend, you are working, they work in late hours, you have to be up when they get home. Dude, my sister had a friend that was a stripper, right?

Speaker 4:
[18:19] Yes.

Speaker 2:
[18:19] And she would come over to our house and shit, and her and my sister were always fighting and stuff. And then she stole our vacuum one time, right?

Speaker 4:
[18:28] Trying to break into the industry.

Speaker 2:
[18:29] Valissa, that was her name. Valissa, which isn't even a name.

Speaker 1:
[18:32] Valissa.

Speaker 2:
[18:33] Like, what name is it? Valissa?

Speaker 4:
[18:37] That is a crazy name.

Speaker 2:
[18:39] It's crazy, dude. And so she stole our vacuum. Dude, two years later, I'm at one of these real fancy parties where they have a woman pop out of the cake or whatever. Like, you know, the thing you kind of see on TV, like they actually had a girl pop out of the cake. They had two cakes and two girls pop out of them. And like, it was a big birthday for this guy and they were strippers. Right. And one of them was the woman. Whoa. It was Varissa who had stolen our vacuum, dude. And so guys are tipping her and shit. And I'm just fucking like waiting. I'm just in the bag, just like just making vacuum sounds and shit and fucking locking on her.

Speaker 4:
[19:18] That's fucked up to take someone's vacuum, too. That could really throw a household under quick.

Speaker 2:
[19:23] And me and my sister were on our last limb as neighbors, dude. And we lived under this family that was like very heavy boned.

Speaker 4:
[19:30] Yeah. They're stomping.

Speaker 2:
[19:32] Yes. And they were beating each other. I think there was domestic abuse.

Speaker 4:
[19:36] Yikes.

Speaker 2:
[19:36] And I would call the police all the time on them. I've called the police. I've always called the police a lot since I was a child, but I would call the police all the time. And I'd be like, he has a gun. That's what I'd say every time. That's good. They get right there. If you're like, hey, he's beating this woman, one of his kids, he fucking tied his kid to a tree outside or whatever.

Speaker 1:
[19:55] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[19:56] He just put a bunch of crow food on his kid's shoulders and tied him to a tree outside. Never.

Speaker 4:
[20:02] They're not going to shoot. Gunn, that's the code. That's the fast pass.

Speaker 2:
[20:04] Because they want the action, dude. They do.

Speaker 4:
[20:07] They love it. And well, they get like cred. If a cop takes a gun off the street, that's something they get like accolades for. Bringing a guy who's like just socked his wife in the stomach. Like your sergeant doesn't like pat you on the back. If you get a gun, that's like a cop, like Pac-Man pellet that takes you further in your journey. That's like literally a metric for cops. How many guns you get and all that stuff.

Speaker 2:
[20:28] Were you almost on the force ever?

Speaker 4:
[20:29] No, my wife was on the cop. So I got to like observe secondhand. Dude, I thought so hard about becoming a cop, but I couldn't, I wasn't able to do it.

Speaker 2:
[20:37] That's right, your wife was a cop, huh?

Speaker 4:
[20:39] Yeah, I was selling weed, so I couldn't become a cop.

Speaker 1:
[20:42] You guys met, dude.

Speaker 4:
[20:44] We met before that.

Speaker 2:
[20:46] But she was a cop when you met her?

Speaker 4:
[20:47] No, she wasn't a cop. She just surprised me one day. I was like, I think I'm going to become a police officer. And I was like, she was a cool...

Speaker 2:
[20:51] She's a cop now?

Speaker 4:
[20:52] No, no, no, she did it for like five years.

Speaker 2:
[20:53] Was she ever a cop?

Speaker 4:
[20:54] She was for five years in Philadelphia.

Speaker 2:
[20:56] Okay, that's being a cop, dude.

Speaker 4:
[20:58] Yeah, dude, she was on like a little foot patrol and everything. She was in like not the best area for sure in Philly. Like north? No, she was in south, like Grays Ferry-ish. So it's like, it's pretty rough.

Speaker 2:
[21:09] A lot of areas there.

Speaker 4:
[21:10] Yeah, it was like gang. There were some gangs there for sure. It was like an old Irish neighborhood of like pretty, I would say pretty hardcore white trash. And then it was like black gangs. You know, it's a brutal mix. It's not a good mix. But the so yeah, you got to, cops got to watch like videos too, of like all the bad stuff that happened. You get an email of like, like a 14 year old got shot up in a deli last night. It's just lively. It's like the video. It's like, I don't know, why do they make them watch that stuff?

Speaker 2:
[21:36] Dude, well, Twitter makes us all watch all that.

Speaker 4:
[21:39] Yeah, true, true.

Speaker 2:
[21:40] Dude, I'm not a cop. That's what I'm gonna start fucking replying to some of these Twitter feeds.

Speaker 4:
[21:44] Send this to the authorities.

Speaker 2:
[21:45] I wake up in the middle of the night for some reason, turn on my phone, next thing I've seen, seven people get massacred outside of some like, outside of like a car dealership in, outside of Tijuana or something. What?

Speaker 4:
[21:56] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[21:57] What portal of hell did I just take myself to?

Speaker 4:
[21:59] Dude, X is crazy now. I remember like, I remember when it was Twitter, it was like, there's too much censorship. And I'm like, yeah, dude, like, let me see the real shit. Now, I'm kind of like, let's go, let's censor this heavily again. My, my, I can't even go on X anymore. It's my, I get all like race baiting, kind of like race war propaganda where it's like, can you believe that it's just nonstop?

Speaker 2:
[22:20] Huh?

Speaker 4:
[22:20] You know, you can, you know, you watch it and you're like.

Speaker 2:
[22:22] You get the race war propaganda?

Speaker 4:
[22:23] Yeah, dude, I get like lots of like, I get a lot of like white supremacy stuff. Yeah, I swear to God, I don't even like, I don't like or share any of it. They want you back.

Speaker 2:
[22:31] They know you have a black wife.

Speaker 4:
[22:32] They want you back. They want me, man. They're trying to break me out of that. But it's just like, yeah, it's rough. I'll be like watching, trying to scroll next to my wife and it'll be like a guy screams the N word. I'm like, what was that? I'm like, well, some fucking video. Going back to Instagram, just a guy screaming the N word again.

Speaker 1:
[22:46] I'm like, oh shit.

Speaker 4:
[22:49] My ex-feed is just completely bonkers.

Speaker 2:
[22:51] Dude, Elon should do better than that. He should want better than that for society, I feel like.

Speaker 4:
[22:55] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[22:56] You know, I think there's a lot of smut. It's just trash. It feels like trash, honestly.

Speaker 4:
[23:02] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[23:02] I think there was a spot where it felt like, I mean, I guess there's still some good video and stuff on there. You'll see. I'll see like some good political stuff on there. But I do feel like outside of that, it's losing. I feel like it's kind of starting to lose its vibe.

Speaker 4:
[23:20] I think so. It's, then you read the news. It's like this now valued at $90 trillion. And like, how? Why is this worth so much money? I don't know. Maybe, you know, if you do flood it with porn and like violence, it does make a bazillion dollars. So business-wise, you might be crushing it. But I had to, I've stepped off of X. Yeah. I can't. I just can't watch it. It's too much.

Speaker 2:
[23:42] It's too much.

Speaker 4:
[23:43] Yeah. I'm trying to go to bed. I'm trying to drown myself to sleep.

Speaker 2:
[23:45] I'm trying to have a decent life. Fucking killing animals in my backyard.

Speaker 1:
[23:50] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[23:52] Only when necessary. Yeah. It is funny, too. Like, yeah, you're like trying to like, you know, I want to live in a safe neighborhood. Then you're just watching just people being shot in the face. And you're like, why am I doing this? Am I in a safe house? This is crazy.

Speaker 2:
[24:03] Dude, it's we're at a point, for sure. One of the biggest things I'm noticing or for myself that I notice, we're at a point with am I talking about? That's insane.

Speaker 4:
[24:11] We might be at a point.

Speaker 1:
[24:12] Let's see.

Speaker 2:
[24:14] Where like, I have to control what comes into me, man.

Speaker 4:
[24:20] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[24:20] And if I don't, then that's my fucking fault.

Speaker 4:
[24:23] Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 2:
[24:23] You know, now the algorithm, the people that make the algorithms should be able to be held liable if like someone goes and does a crime based on like them feeding them, like the same type of bullshit. Like somebody goes and shoots out a place because they got indoctrinated into some really strong and like sadistic beliefs or something. Because the algorithm fed them that. I think that those people should be held liable.

Speaker 4:
[24:46] Yeah, man, or it's tough. Case by case is tough because it's like, well, how do you like in court? Obviously, like the moral thing. Yeah, but like a lawyer, like Facebook's lawyers would just shred that. Be like, oh, he's watching that and this and that. They'll get out of that. But I agree. It's like, I think didn't they just rule against Facebook now being like, Yeah, what was that? I think a thing came against them being like, yo, you guys, kind of like they did with cigarettes where they're like, yeah, dude, this shit's bad. You knew it was bad. You gave it to people. Now you got a fork.

Speaker 2:
[25:11] Here you go right here. A jury has ordered Meta and Google to pay $3 million to a 20 year old woman who alleged that she became addicted to Instagram and YouTube as a child.

Speaker 1:
[25:21] Oh, fucking damn.

Speaker 4:
[25:22] Shit, all right, everyone else get on that train.

Speaker 2:
[25:24] Jurors found the company's liable for product design features that harmed her mental health. The plaintiff Kaylee GM testified that the apps replaced her hobbies and attributed anxiety, depression and body dysmorphia. Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[25:35] Bro, they have about two billion lawsuits coming about the same.

Speaker 2:
[25:40] It says it right here, the case is the first of thousands targeting big tech over addiction to reach trial. A bellwether to assess how other claims could be resolved.

Speaker 4:
[25:48] Well, this is apparently from what I heard like long ago is a lot of these social media companies had people who designed slot machines, consult with them to like how to make their basically interface as addictive as possible. You know when you like pull down and refresh and like your phone kind of like shakes a little bit, there's that little noise, that's like slot machine technology somehow. Like it's designed to like you get a little dopamine burst when it goes like, oh yeah, new stuff and it's like apparently it's set up like that where it's like it's purposely designed to be maximally addictive and they did that on purpose.

Speaker 2:
[26:20] Shit.

Speaker 4:
[26:21] Yeah, that's and it's like that's it's like cigarettes. They're like, oh, this is bad for you. You know, now they're going to have to pay out. They already have billions and billions of dollars. They don't have to just fork some of the billions.

Speaker 2:
[26:30] Yeah. Yeah, it's worth it to them to continue to do it. But do you remember the old school dopamine burst? You'd see a bald eagle fly by.

Speaker 4:
[26:40] That's that was the dopamine burst. Yeah, I remember those days.

Speaker 2:
[26:42] Or even if it wasn't and somebody just said it was.

Speaker 4:
[26:45] True.

Speaker 2:
[26:46] You couldn't fucking see when you were a kid. You're just staring up into the sky and it's fucking pointing.

Speaker 4:
[26:51] Dude, I do remember being younger before the internet and just like, it's like summer and I would just be like sitting outside and just like, I would just be able to kind of like stare off for a while and just like be like, this is nice. And it's like, I can't even like take a shit now if I don't have my phone. I'm like, I need to be scrolling.

Speaker 2:
[27:05] Yeah. When was the last time that we've daydreamed? You know?

Speaker 4:
[27:08] I know. It's tough. You really do. I have to like on a plane, I can try to like force myself. But then the whole time I'm like, I can't believe I'm not on my phone. I'm so cool right now. I don't even daydream. I just like pat myself on the back for not looking at my phone.

Speaker 2:
[27:20] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[27:20] And then I go, you know what? I'm going to look at my phone. Everyone's looking at their phone.

Speaker 2:
[27:23] Dude, or if you go to a rest, it used to be, this is a craziest thing. To think that someone could be in a restaurant by themselves, like 40 years ago, you could do that. You could be in a restaurant by yourself, sitting at a table, and you wouldn't look insane.

Speaker 1:
[27:41] That's true.

Speaker 2:
[27:42] Now, without a phone, now, if you see someone in a restaurant by themselves, just sitting there, waiting for some people who are probably doing coke, to bring them their food, dude, there's fucking no.

Speaker 4:
[27:57] Dude, I do this. When I go out, when I'm in a different city, I'll go out to dinner by myself, and I'll pride myself, and I'll sit there and just like waiting for some congratulations. It never comes. I just stare straight. Like you literally don't know what to do with yourself because it is that problem. You're like, I can't stare straight ahead. I'll try to look like kind of almost like I'm dreamily like.

Speaker 2:
[28:17] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[28:18] Oh, and it's just nothing there.

Speaker 2:
[28:20] Or I'll rearrange a silverware again.

Speaker 1:
[28:21] Do that shit.

Speaker 2:
[28:23] Play the shell game with like a fork, knife, napkin, fork, napkin.

Speaker 4:
[28:27] Go to the bathroom really slow.

Speaker 2:
[28:29] Oh, look at that. Chick-fil-A is offering free ice cream to families who agree to put their phones away during their meal.

Speaker 4:
[28:36] Bro.

Speaker 2:
[28:37] As part of an effort to encourage more face-to-face time and less screen use at the table. What are the exact rules with that?

Speaker 4:
[28:45] Who's enforcing? And dude, imagine if you cost your family the Chick-fil-A family meal just from one glance.

Speaker 1:
[28:52] That's tough.

Speaker 4:
[28:53] You were getting serious trouble.

Speaker 2:
[28:54] You glanced out of your phone just to see the bears didn't get it done again.

Speaker 4:
[28:59] Just a retarded guy blows a whistle at you.

Speaker 2:
[29:04] They should have a dude, Chuck Fillet is his name. It's just a black dude in there. He's a straight chicken cop in there.

Speaker 4:
[29:12] That'd be a good job. He's like, boom, got you. Fork, $38. Let's go.

Speaker 2:
[29:18] Chuck Fillet strikes again.

Speaker 4:
[29:22] Yeah, that's shit, man. That's nice. Chick-fil-A, it's, you know.

Speaker 2:
[29:26] I like that.

Speaker 4:
[29:26] I do too.

Speaker 2:
[29:27] I like that. If they're not on their phone, let me see. The promotion is only offered at select Chick-fil-A locations by individual operators, not a company-wide program.

Speaker 4:
[29:35] 2016.

Speaker 2:
[29:36] It originated in 2016 from a Georgia operator and has been revived locally at various times. I like that though.

Speaker 4:
[29:42] I do too.

Speaker 2:
[29:44] Yeah, dude. That was just like, or just driving and thinking about shit.

Speaker 1:
[29:49] Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2:
[29:51] Dude, your mind had so much time to like, I think that's one reason we're more creative, because our mind was able to just fucking create. It was able to like, the RAM wasn't always, you know, your computer sends you that thing, it's like, your RAM is almost done. You don't even know what your RAM is, and you're like, fuck, I better empty the RAM trash.

Speaker 1:
[30:07] Clean this out.

Speaker 4:
[30:08] I need to defragment. I still don't know what that is. Yeah, no, dude, it's that's really, it's like, you know, because you have sleep, your brain gets the rest, but that like downtime, your brain does do stuff. Like it like kind of organizes things. When you just kind of chill out, because that's, I like when you, so when you're on your phone, you know, when you read something on your phone, you're like, you don't remember any of it. Because as you're reading, when you're on your phone, every button and thing you're moving is like, it's a problem solving part of your brain. So like, you're trying to like, you know, you want your memory to be active. So you're like, you know, reading like information's coming. You have so much coming at you. Like you're the part of your memory that can store information along to the short term is like a tiny little bucket in your brain. So it only fits so much when you're like hitting buttons and going up and down, this and that. It's just gets just it's like splashing a ton of water in a tiny bucket. Everything spills out. I never remember anything. I research stuff on my phone all the time. And then I go like, I'll be like, like how many carbs you need to be in keto? I'll read a whole article on it. And like a day later, I'll be like going to tell someone about it. I'm like, I don't know. You need like only a little. I can never retain anything.

Speaker 2:
[31:12] Well, dude, if somebody wants to tell me something these days, I'm like, dude, I can look at information and we all have it now. Like somebody used to have the information. Like you had to go down the street. You had to get molested by a guy.

Speaker 4:
[31:26] Yeah, that's the price you pay.

Speaker 2:
[31:28] Just to figure out how to like, you know, grow bougainvilleas in your backyard. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 4:
[31:33] Yeah. No, it's true. Now I can just take a picture of a plant. It's like, this is the plant you're growing. I do it all the time. And it'll be like, is this good? When can I harvest this?

Speaker 1:
[31:41] Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 4:
[31:42] Yeah, it's actually, I do kind of like that, but you'll just take a picture and you'll do what?

Speaker 2:
[31:46] Put it in a, like, perplexity or something?

Speaker 4:
[31:48] Yeah, like Grok can be like, yeah, when can I pull this garlic? But it's not sure fire. It'll give you like, have you eaten pussy today?

Speaker 2:
[31:55] And it just shows you some poker.

Speaker 1:
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Speaker 3:
[33:16] They are the truth.

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Speaker 4:
[34:33] I personally am not worried about AI. Like people are like, it's going to end the world. It's like, I don't worry. I don't think it is, honestly. And the thing is like, if it does, what are you really going to do? A lot of these people are doing this like I'm just not using it because it's like, I just feel like it's such a weird, it's like it's a computer. Like it's not, you can destroy a computer easily. It keeps saying, wait, but it will like self build itself so you can. It's like, dude, that's, it's just nerds freaking out. It's not, I don't think it's a real threat whatsoever.

Speaker 2:
[35:02] You know, I started to think it definitely could be like the Y2K thing. Remember that?

Speaker 4:
[35:07] Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[35:08] I remember everybody was like forcing their like cousins to admit they were fat or whatever because God wasn't going to want them after midnight or any like all that shit, you know? Or it was like, don't say you're a fat before midnight.

Speaker 4:
[35:20] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[35:22] Or God won't let you in or whatever. There was like all that kind of like those email chains or send this to ten people that are fat. You get those type of email chains. You're like, what is this shit, dude? But yeah, because they were trying to catch fat or whatever. I think Bush Sr. was doing that. But anyway, that was crazy, bro. Everybody thought Y2K was going to end it. And then people thought the.com boom. People bought like, remember a guy bought like shoes.com. And then he sold it for like 270 million dollars. And we were all buying different dot coms. People were making up crazy.com names.

Speaker 4:
[35:56] I tried to get a couple.

Speaker 2:
[35:58] Did you?

Speaker 4:
[35:58] Yeah, I didn't get anything good, honestly. I don't remember. I think I sold them off right away or just they're probably just dead. They expire too if you don't keep refreshing them. Yeah, I didn't get anything good. I watched a soft white underbelly. This has been cracking me up for like a month. There was a guy who is similar to that lawsuit. He was going on being like, like I had too much Internet at a young age. And like it had a bad effect on me. And he was like going out and compulsively doing like gay acts. But he was like, I'm not gay. I just got like, you know, it was the Internet. And the thing that got him into it was gay.com, which just made me laugh so hard just as a young kid, just hitting gay.com.

Speaker 1:
[36:32] Your whole life just over.

Speaker 4:
[36:35] Everything changes from gay.com.

Speaker 2:
[36:36] Hey, bud.

Speaker 4:
[36:37] Getting caught in fifth grade on gay.com. I would have been done, dude. Old two older brothers catching gay.com.

Speaker 1:
[36:42] I would have been fried.

Speaker 2:
[36:44] Oh, that would have been crazy, huh? Are you going up to your room?

Speaker 3:
[36:47] You're going to get on gay.com.

Speaker 4:
[36:51] That's a billion dollar hash or not hashtag hyperlink, whatever people got. gay.com.

Speaker 2:
[36:57] That's still worth money.

Speaker 4:
[36:59] For sure.

Speaker 2:
[37:00] gay.com, just send it to your buddy.

Speaker 4:
[37:02] Dude, hilarious. You can change the hyperlink. There's a way you can do that.

Speaker 1:
[37:06] Oh, man.

Speaker 2:
[37:07] Dude, buffhomos.com was one of my favorite ones. Ari Mann is this comedian and he started a website called buffhomos.com.

Speaker 4:
[37:16] Did he really?

Speaker 2:
[37:17] Yeah. See if it's still active or not. I bet he pays.

Speaker 4:
[37:21] buffhomos.com is great. What's he doing with it?

Speaker 2:
[37:25] He didn't want to. Oh, it just goes to his website, which I think he should change that. But maybe not actually.

Speaker 4:
[37:34] All you have to do is if you put like one good buff gay guy.

Speaker 2:
[37:38] Well, he was doing it and his fucking management told him not to do it.

Speaker 4:
[37:43] He couldn't curate buffhomos?

Speaker 2:
[37:45] Yeah. They're like, you know, it's just kind of like, that's why nobody should have a fucking manager.

Speaker 4:
[37:50] Yeah, that's a billion dollar idea.

Speaker 2:
[37:51] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[37:52] That's crazy.

Speaker 2:
[37:53] If you're not a fucking pussy.

Speaker 4:
[37:56] So his managers had to sit him down and be like, about buffhomos.com.

Speaker 1:
[38:00] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[38:01] But then they told him to make that his landing page, basically?

Speaker 1:
[38:04] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[38:04] A non buffhomo on there. And I love Ariari. He's open for me a bunch over the years. He's a great comedian and he's a great dude.

Speaker 4:
[38:14] Clearly business genius too. buffhomos.com is so good.

Speaker 2:
[38:17] Bro, and he would send me the pictures of buffhomos and stuff. And it was like, he would get his friends, that owed him favors, he would give them stage time if they modeled for it. So that was the best part. So you had like guys like Steve Fury, just different comedians who were like cutting the door guys at the store, but were also growing good comedians like Craig Cunette. And he would have them just modeling fucking like just regular dudes. But when you put them under the banner of buffhomos, it's crazy. You put a banner over something, you see a picture of a regular dude with his shirt off, you're like, okay, maybe that guy is trying to get the military or whatever. And then they write buffhomos above it. So you're like, oh, this changes everything.

Speaker 4:
[38:54] I mean, okay, so his manager is probably worried about the fallout of being like, is it true that you tricked Young Comics into stage time for modeling for buffhomos.com?

Speaker 2:
[39:04] First of all, I think some of them knew what was going on.

Speaker 4:
[39:07] It's true, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[39:08] They're all buddies.

Speaker 4:
[39:10] But yeah, that's a good lose a bet kind of thing. Like you lose the bet playing poker for like buffhomos of the week.

Speaker 2:
[39:18] I had a website called totalcreeper.com for a while.

Speaker 4:
[39:20] Did you really?

Speaker 2:
[39:21] Yeah, this was a long time ago. And I would just find total fucking creepers and just take pictures of them and put them all in that bitch.

Speaker 4:
[39:27] I did those early websites on the internet. There was mullet.com. That was great.

Speaker 2:
[39:32] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[39:33] mullet.com was good. There was cameltoe.org. People just snap camel toe shots in the grocery store. That one was that. Yeah, that one was a little bit of innovation of privacy, obviously. But I remember as a young man being pumped on camel toe.

Speaker 2:
[39:46] Yeah, what was a good one? Oh, there was like that, is there a way to look at total, is there a way to find that in the like analogs of anything, guys?

Speaker 4:
[39:55] Yeah, Web Archive might have it. No.

Speaker 2:
[39:58] No, this wasn't my shit.

Speaker 4:
[40:00] That's Tumblr. That's a UK female.

Speaker 2:
[40:02] Yeah, that's Tumblr. Do you remember Tumblr? That shit was weird.

Speaker 4:
[40:04] Tumblr was crazy, dude. I never got into it personally, but I knew a girl who like was, her big thing was curating a Tumblr of just like lightly pornographic content. It was just like a sex Tumblr.

Speaker 1:
[40:17] It was crazy.

Speaker 2:
[40:18] Oh, dude. There was like one like girls in panties getting out of cars or whatever. Fuck, dude. Something about it, dude. But in panties, not like thong, not trashy fucking, you know.

Speaker 4:
[40:30] No, dude. We're rare that we can still, we're JPEG heads. We're one of the last who have beaten it to a still image. You know what I mean? Like not a lot of people can say that.

Speaker 2:
[40:41] Yeah. You're right.

Speaker 4:
[40:42] I remember the fucking like, I used to come home from church on Sundays and grab the newspaper, pop out the Coles catalog, straight to the underwear section, lock the door in the bathroom.

Speaker 2:
[40:51] God.

Speaker 4:
[40:52] 45-minute sesh.

Speaker 2:
[40:54] Dude, I used to rub some of the, like I would rub like a thing. This is fucking crazy. I should never say this out loud because I'll never have a wife after this. But I would rub like a picture of like if they had a model, like a underwear model, I'd rub it under my arms because sometimes it would kind of smell like a little bit like that. Jerk off too.

Speaker 4:
[41:12] You would stank it up.

Speaker 2:
[41:13] Yeah, yeah. I'll just kind of stank it up.

Speaker 4:
[41:17] Yeah, I don't think my mom got it. My mom, that's actually really good.

Speaker 2:
[41:21] You think it's a good idea?

Speaker 4:
[41:23] To stank it up? Yeah, I never thought about that.

Speaker 2:
[41:25] Thanks, man.

Speaker 1:
[41:26] I feel ashamed of it.

Speaker 4:
[41:28] I think that's actually pretty cool. Now, the problem is you're crossing wires because you're going to catch, like you're going to be out working out one day, catch some of your own funk and be like, God damn.

Speaker 2:
[41:39] I better come under there.

Speaker 4:
[41:42] Start fucking eating out your armpit.

Speaker 1:
[41:45] That's insane.

Speaker 4:
[41:46] Sorry, that's the line.

Speaker 2:
[41:47] No worries out of Buddy that did that, that we catch him doing it at night.

Speaker 4:
[41:50] No.

Speaker 2:
[41:50] Sleepovers.

Speaker 4:
[41:51] Really?

Speaker 2:
[41:51] Because he had like hair under his arm and he would kind of get his tongue around the corner of his boss, of his pectoral.

Speaker 4:
[41:59] That's fucking weird.

Speaker 1:
[42:00] And get him a little nibble.

Speaker 4:
[42:01] Just.

Speaker 1:
[42:02] Get you a little nibble, Danny.

Speaker 4:
[42:03] Pretty impressive.

Speaker 2:
[42:04] You nibbling your arm, pussy. Huh, Ricky? Okay, this was it. Are there any still on here?

Speaker 3:
[42:12] Total Creepers, sick.

Speaker 2:
[42:14] But yeah, people were supporting, people were sending this shit in. This was good shit.

Speaker 4:
[42:17] And the Creepers in is awesome.

Speaker 2:
[42:18] My great aunt died and there are two zombie jokers showed up to the burial and said they were friends of hers, but no one knew these two. What'd you think?

Speaker 4:
[42:25] But that's Total Creepers. That's a really good one.

Speaker 2:
[42:28] It was good, dude.

Speaker 4:
[42:31] Damn, 2011. Lamp Man.

Speaker 2:
[42:34] This guy and I were at the same full service car while she was yelling into his phone about a mortgage. What do you think? Yeah, I miss the imagination, bro.

Speaker 1:
[42:46] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[42:46] I miss like seeing a girl smile at you like on a Friday at school, or give you some sign of like, maybe she even just like asked you to go throw some trash away for her.

Speaker 4:
[42:57] That would have been awesome.

Speaker 1:
[42:58] I would have loved to do that.

Speaker 2:
[42:59] Totally. And then you're thinking all week and you're like, fuck, she's thinking about me.

Speaker 4:
[43:03] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[43:04] I'm going to start working out. You start making like, like we would like chisel like weights out of like wood and shit and try to like get pumps. Yeah. We didn't know that it had to weigh a real amount. We were like, oh, it just has to look like weights and just dumb shit. But then Monday, you'd be like, oh, she fucking hates it again. But there was just that couple day period where there was no phone to see that she was having a blast or that she was like, her family was rich or whatever, had a boat or whatever. You just laid at home in your fucking poor bed.

Speaker 4:
[43:33] Yep.

Speaker 2:
[43:33] Thinking.

Speaker 4:
[43:34] You just imagine her. Yeah, it was actually, I genuinely, I know people say this all the time, but I do feel bad for like younger kids. Have you gotten into like the clavicular stuff?

Speaker 2:
[43:43] I see this guy.

Speaker 4:
[43:44] And all that stuff. So he did an interview with Andrew Callahan recently. I watched, and I've watched a lot of his stuff, but there's like this world of guys that are like, you know, looks maxing is like you, your only hope in life is to become as attractive as possible. But now they're doing these things where like injecting a bunch of peptides. These are like young, like, you know, like early twenties, go on TRT, you're hitting the peptides. And you know, the thing that gets like sensationalized is like you kind of tap your jawbone with a hammer. It's like, it's called like bone hammering or whatever. So you like kind of do micro-fracture. Dude, it's crazy. And he, I watched the interview, he said like, oh man, like that's really nothing. But that's all like what you have bone smashing.

Speaker 2:
[44:22] Is a dangerous non-scientific social media trend primarily popular on TikTok and within looks, maxing subcultures that involves intentionally inflicting blunt force trauma on facial bones to alter their structure. Proponents falsely claim that repeatedly breaking or bruising bones with hammers, bottles or hard objects will cause them to heal in a more chiseled or masculine state. If that's the case, everybody in Stockton would be fucking beautiful.

Speaker 4:
[44:45] Yeah, true, everybody's been fucking hitting the face.

Speaker 2:
[44:47] Everybody's been fucking hit by bottles and shit.

Speaker 4:
[44:50] Yeah, well, the thing is, it's like, you know, a lot of it's just internet stuff, but there is the underlying philosophy where it's like, you know, the dye has been cast for you. And if you're not like, you know, super attractive or like, as a, you know, it's like guys are kind of becoming girls now where it's like, I just got to be prettier. It's like, there's a, it's called the bone structure hierarchy where like, the way your bone structure is, that kind of determines your whole fate as a person. And if you don't ascend, you'll become this like, it's just like sad and very bleak and like this like, I don't know, this like really nihilistic thing where it's just like, dude, you can just be a dude. You don't have to be like, I need to ascend, I need to ascend so I can mog and blah, blah, blah. It's just, I feel bad. I mean, I think a lot of kids at least joke about it, but I was watching an interview and I'm like, man, this is like a really sad way to live, of being like, my sub-ordinal is not maximal. It's like, dude, you're a guy who cares.

Speaker 2:
[45:41] And what is mogging? That's the part.

Speaker 4:
[45:44] Mogging is like, so you can be height-mogged, you can be frame-mogged. If someone's bigger than you, if they take a picture with you and they're looking bigger, you've been mogged. If they're taller than you, you've been height-mogged. And you can go any dimension of whatever you have.

Speaker 2:
[46:00] So somebody could be cock-mogging you, somebody could be...

Speaker 4:
[46:03] That's the worst mogging.

Speaker 1:
[46:03] If you get cock-mogged, dude, that's fucking tough.

Speaker 4:
[46:06] I'd be hitting mine with a hammer.

Speaker 2:
[46:09] Look at the fucking jawbones on this little cock. You're like, damn, that thing's small. You're like, yeah, but look at that fucking smile on it.

Speaker 4:
[46:17] Which is brutal. I know girls do that. They take pictures together and there's a lot of very hyper-specific comparison where they're like, look at my knees. It's like this is now younger guys, I think, are starting to do that to some degree, becoming very aware and conscious of like, he's taller than me in that photo. It's like, do you find? I don't know. That kind of freaks me out. We can't have both people doing that. There's no, there's not a, he got frame-mogged. That was the, he took a picture. That's clavicular. And he got frame-mogged because the guy stood next to him was bigger and it was just, that's like, now you descend. You were ascending and now he descended a little bit.

Speaker 2:
[46:53] Damn. It's, and this clavicular, I mean, that guy also looks like, he looks like a fucking GNC store.

Speaker 1:
[47:03] Yeah, I know.

Speaker 4:
[47:04] So the other guys, so that's the ASU frat guy, the guy in the black is clavicular.

Speaker 2:
[47:08] Yes.

Speaker 4:
[47:09] Yeah, so that guy, yeah, it's, that's just, it looks, it looks unnatural, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

Speaker 2:
[47:14] Yeah, dude. Well, that, first of all, the guy on the right looks fucking insane, dude. He honestly looks like a fucking good, like kind of a Trill lesbian. No cap, bro. No cap, dog. BLM, dog, you know what I'm saying? You're wearing a fucking like bra shirt or whatever. What are you fucking doing? And also, you know, we started all that was Lord Jamalow Ball, dude, just fucking whatever. That dude wearing that bra or whatever, remember he was shooting that fucking fade away or whatever?

Speaker 4:
[47:43] No, was he wearing a bra?

Speaker 2:
[47:44] Yeah, him and SGA were like just gooning around after, Oh, I think I did. Well, this is this was that. I don't know that was when I was growing up mixed dudes wasn't fucking mixed dudes had enough.

Speaker 4:
[47:59] That's what you're talking about. What the fuck is that about?

Speaker 2:
[48:01] No, that's not it. That's crazy. Yeah, I'm saying that's crazy.

Speaker 4:
[48:05] That's wild.

Speaker 2:
[48:06] You don't when do you need just that much of a shirt?

Speaker 4:
[48:09] Yes, take it. Yeah, you don't need it at all.

Speaker 2:
[48:10] Yeah, like you hit a gross spurt or whatever.

Speaker 4:
[48:14] Dude, the sad thing about like the, you see that guy, that's like a very bizarre frame with all like the peptides and like filters and all this stuff. That's what's garnering all the attention, like especially for women, like your lips have to look all, people are becoming literally artificial beings. And there it's like, dude, it sounds like a really complicated thing. It's just, I think about this all the time. There's this thing called supernormal stimuli, which is like, you know, it's not as like crazy as it sounds. So like say, these studies where they had these butterflies and like the male butterflies that they saw in a female that was a shade of purple, the more purple the butterfly was, that was the more attractive they were. And the butterflies would go mate with those butterflies. The scientists made a shade of purple that wasn't able to be produced by the natural butterflies. That was like such a deep purple. The butterflies would just lay on this piece of cloth and just die. And I feel like that is happening to people in some regard where people are like, especially women are making themselves into these like artificial things and now guys are matching and it's just, I don't know, it freaks me out. So you're chasing an aesthetic that's not natural and it's not attainable and they're using all these like scientific methods.

Speaker 2:
[49:21] A lot of women, if women have those lip injections, dude, I'm out. If women put on too much lip, like if it's a little bit I can get, right? But if it's just fucking dumb, dude, like your lips look like they've been like they've been eaten or whatever.

Speaker 4:
[49:36] Yeah, dude. No, I'm telling you, that and there's also a fine line of plastic surgery where it almost all ends in the same exact look. There's like a fully constructed face that you're like, oh, it's just like plastic surgery face. I just feel bad because, you know, you're obviously insecure, everybody is, and then you do all this work and you're like, oh, my nose looks better, this looks better, and then it's like, and I have this like look that I look like I'm a clone or something.

Speaker 2:
[49:58] Yeah, dude, it's just too much. Yeah, and then also if a girl puts on so much lip gloss, bro, I'm like, it just like, it's almost like you're saying, it's like, it's too, it's like too much of the purple color. It's like, it's too juicy. Yes.

Speaker 4:
[50:13] No one's lips are this juicy. Like, I just feel bad because I've seen this for sure.

Speaker 1:
[50:19] That one is, that's a rough look.

Speaker 2:
[50:23] He's wearing a fucking jersey bra. He's wearing a jersey bra. Look at this.

Speaker 1:
[50:28] Yeah, that's-

Speaker 3:
[50:29] I mean, what is going on?

Speaker 1:
[50:30] I don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 4:
[50:32] Having a good time.

Speaker 2:
[50:34] Yeah, that's a good point, man.

Speaker 4:
[50:35] No, but that's, yeah, I saw that. That's, you know, that's one of those videos you're like, dang, did I really look like that during that? He's still smiling. That was like a-

Speaker 2:
[50:42] No, and that guy's a boss, dude, too. And honestly, if he's one of the, if any of these guys ended up being gay fellas or whatever, and being one of the best to ever do it, good for them.

Speaker 4:
[50:51] Exactly, gives a shit.

Speaker 2:
[50:52] Gay Jordan.

Speaker 4:
[50:53] Gay Jordan would be nice. Just that light, that slightly lighter lift off, that would actually be kind of sick to watch.

Speaker 2:
[51:00] Fly.

Speaker 4:
[51:00] Floating.

Speaker 1:
[51:01] Yeah, floating. Ooh.

Speaker 4:
[51:05] I feel bad for like, you know, because you have, they get like preyed upon because you're on social media and it's just nothing but before and afters, before and afters, before and afters, and you just go after that and you get like, you can get like permanently disfigured. And it's just, you know, it's just-

Speaker 2:
[51:18] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[51:19] I don't know, something strikes me as like evil to do that.

Speaker 2:
[51:21] Well, there's a lot of stuff now too where it's like, you know, the peptide, like all that stuff, a lot of it, there's not a ton of research done on it. We just started fucking hearing about it. Yeah. And everybody started using it.

Speaker 4:
[51:32] I know.

Speaker 2:
[51:33] And there was, dude, I remember, I was with a girl one night in her car and I was trying to make out or something. I don't remember, but we were sitting in there talking and she's like, yeah, I got to leave in like two hours to go down to Tijuana to get some, I was zemping, it's just cheaper down there.

Speaker 4:
[51:48] Really?

Speaker 2:
[51:49] Yeah. They busted a woman outside of a vineyard behind selling illegal ozampine.

Speaker 4:
[51:53] Oh, bro. Yeah. You start going to the doctor and then they all start talking to each other and one of them gets it off the internet. Yeah, there's dude, so many of them are doing it, taking the jab. It is because you do get it, like you can go to a doctor but it's expensive and all it takes is one of them being like, I got this website, I'll get it, I'll inject you. Then it's like, does this person know what they're doing? Where did they really get that? What is this stuff? I'm so freaked out about putting anything into my body. I can't do it. I'll take a new vitamin and I'm like, I feel kind of weird today. That's me, I'm being a bitch but I really am like.

Speaker 2:
[52:26] But that's Irishness I think as well.

Speaker 4:
[52:27] I think so.

Speaker 2:
[52:28] You guys operate best on beer and stuff like that.

Speaker 4:
[52:30] I think so.

Speaker 2:
[52:31] Basic whiskey beer.

Speaker 4:
[52:32] Complete basics. I took the one, it was like a pill form, that you just take it for your stomach and I think it helped. I didn't really notice much but the needles, man, I'm like, I get just too scared. I have one in my fridge, I can't do it. I'm like, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do it. Supposed to help you like sleep and burn fat and I like look at it. I go, no, I'm not doing that. Just sits there. I'm scared of the needle.

Speaker 1:
[52:54] I won't do it.

Speaker 2:
[52:57] Yeah, dude, yeah. Save that bitch in case things get crazy. Shoot it in one of your fucking plants.

Speaker 4:
[53:01] True.

Speaker 2:
[53:03] Dude, if you started peptide in your plants, dude, the next thing you know, you have like 11 blackberries in your yard, dude.

Speaker 4:
[53:10] That would be nice. But yeah, we can each have, my whole family can each have like three a piece. That would be awesome.

Speaker 2:
[53:14] How good are radishes though? You mentioned radishes earlier.

Speaker 4:
[53:17] Man, they grow so easy and they're like, they're good. They can get a little spicy here and there, but like those ones are, they were rewarding because like this is a thing too. Like I tried to grow in carrots, dude, the carrot greens this big, I pulled the carrot out. I'm not lying. It was this fucking big. So that kind of hurts. You wait three months. Then you just got to take it out and throw it on the ground and let it kind of decompose. Radishes just rip, man. You can grow radishes anywhere.

Speaker 2:
[53:40] Those bold, those like potatoes, radishes, I think those things were pretty easy. Tuber's whatever they're called.

Speaker 4:
[53:46] I think potatoes are tubers, radishes, I don't know what the hell, like root vegetables, I guess.

Speaker 2:
[53:49] Yeah, root vegetables.

Speaker 4:
[53:50] They grow pretty good, man.

Speaker 2:
[53:51] My grandma used to have a mall in her cellar at the end, back in the day. They'd have a lot of senior citizens would have them in their cellars and stuff like that. They'd keep a lot of root vegetables in there. I love radishes, though. They've kind of disappeared for a while. You would see them kind of shaved up like they'd fucking been, literally, like somebody had terrorized them and put them on like little salads.

Speaker 4:
[54:14] I've seen that. Shredded radishes. Yeah, it's kind of weird. I feel like Mexican food brought them back into my life. Because I would see them on the tacos and at first I'd be like, I'm not eating them. And then I started eating them. I'm like, damn, these things are pretty good, actually.

Speaker 2:
[54:24] You get a fucking spicy radish, though, bro. Put a little bit of salt on it.

Speaker 4:
[54:28] Yeah, man.

Speaker 3:
[54:28] They're good.

Speaker 4:
[54:30] They're good. And there's something, I mean, just pulling it out of the ground, washing off and eating it, there's something awesome about that.

Speaker 2:
[54:36] You ever pull one right out and just wash it right there and eat it in the yard?

Speaker 4:
[54:40] I'd have to wash it first. I usually bring it inside, but I'd like to. I feel like those, I've picked them off. I picked berries off a bush and eaten them. But the radish, I'd never pulled them out of the dirt and eaten them.

Speaker 2:
[54:49] Do that.

Speaker 4:
[54:50] I should, actually. I have left a little bit of dirt on before when washing it, and I'm like, it's got to be minerals and shit in here. I don't believe eating, don't believe all the eating the dirt propaganda. You can eat dirt for sure.

Speaker 2:
[55:00] I wouldn't have a ton. I mean, it depends on what area.

Speaker 4:
[55:02] Just the dust, true, true, true. My soil is pretty good. That's the thing, too. You got to build a whole little colony in your soil. Because if you just dump soil out of a bag, it's not living.

Speaker 2:
[55:13] How many square feet is your garden?

Speaker 4:
[55:15] Man, not a lot. It's probably like 40 total, if that. And then I have a little thing outside my fence. It gets full sun all day. That's probably another like, I probably have like 50, 60 square feet total. Small.

Speaker 2:
[55:28] Do you have to water in the morning and evening, or how does that work?

Speaker 4:
[55:30] I do in the summer, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[55:32] You can water pale, you use the hose.

Speaker 4:
[55:33] I have the hose, and I have like some sprinklers now. I got to hook them up, but I just kind of water them though, twice a day, depending on how hot it is. If it's like super hot, that's twice a day. Put some mulch down to keep the roots from getting scorched. So it's just, it's nice, man. Especially like when you just see a new little bud pop off your plant, it's just such a, come out in the morning and I'm like, oh, it's just a nice little treat.

Speaker 2:
[55:55] Yeah, and you're kind of like an orchestra conductor of nature.

Speaker 4:
[55:59] Yeah, it's pretty cool. And you got to be patient. You got to wait. And it's like, like, dude, I planted garlic six months ago. I might have some like in three weeks. And it's just like, it's just like a thing that's like good, that's grown, you know what I mean? That's like, you know, because otherwise I've had a lot of times in life where I just have nothing to look forward to. And you're just like, whatever. Every day I'm like, well, my berries eventually. Two years, I have like things that are going to take like two years to grow. And I'm like, man, two years is going to be sick.

Speaker 3:
[56:26] I don't like that.

Speaker 4:
[56:28] I'm telling you, it's really good for you.

Speaker 2:
[56:30] I'm been wondering if there was ever a time when you were with your family and your car broke down. Because I've been there. And I remember my, the car was broke down. And I stood off. I walked off from that thing. I said, I ain't even being with y'all anymore. Just didn't even want to be by my family, dang it. Just out of shame. Car Shield could have fixed that. Car Shield offers month to month vehicle protection plans designed to protect drivers from expensive car repair bills. Car Shield contracts have low deductibles to prevent stress to your wallet at a critical time. And they partner with certified mechanics and repair shops around the country for when you're in a bind. Make a decision your wallet will love with Car Shield. Right now Car Shield is offering our listeners 20% off with the code THEO at carshield.com. Visit carshield.com to lock in your 2026 protection today and protect yourself from expensive car repairs. Again, go to carshield.com and use code THEO for 20% off. Is pornography causing a problem in your life? Do you find yourself watching porno for longer periods of time and having trouble stopping? Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life? Well, you're certainly not alone. Watching pornography has become so commonplace today and oftentimes men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety and depression. Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them. I want to introduce you to my friend Steve. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. Steve is a long-term sexual recovery member and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same. Steve is an amazing person and he is a close friend of mine. I mean that. Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life. Their coaches are in long-term recovery and will be your partner, mentor and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors. To learn more about Valor Recovery, please visit them at www.valerrecoverycoaching.com or email them at admin at valorrecoverycoaching.com. Thank you. Well, you know what, I recently, I started to get up earlier and do like just really, just start to take some control over my own life more. Yeah. Like, and it's just helped me so much, man. It's helped me to like, I don't know, everything else just feels like more possible. It's like, oh, I'm caring about what I'm doing here, you know? Yeah. Like it hasn't been like every day has been perfect, but just like over the past month, it's gotten like, let me see what I'm trying to say. Like, so I'll get up and I'll like do some yoga, work out, meditate, hit an AA meeting or something. And then I'm like, it's like 10 a.m. and now I'm, and the rest of my day is mine, right? I don't have work and shit to do. But I just feel like, like the more I'm investing in myself or things like that, it's like, it feels good.

Speaker 4:
[60:08] Dude, it's, yeah, it's unbelievable. Because otherwise it's like, what is moving your life? And you know, you're just kind of being blown about. I do that all the time where I'm just kind of like.

Speaker 2:
[60:16] You have to make your life mean something.

Speaker 4:
[60:18] Exactly.

Speaker 2:
[60:18] I think when you're a kid, you come out of this time where you're like, oh, there's all these things that I get to get put into, and there's somebody putting you in this shit. You don't even realize that like, all this stuff happens and you're just in. But you like, we kind of lose that as we get older. You know what I mean? I know work comes along and family comes along, but it's like, yeah, you have to always feel like, oh, life has to make it. No, you have to make it.

Speaker 4:
[60:38] Yeah, dude, it's like 100% true. That's actually fair. I never thought about that too, because you do get thrown into school. And yeah, you're just like, well, I guess someone will throw me into a job. And then you just kind of just like drift along. And it's like, I'll do that for like stretches of time. And then like, I'll just something will happen where I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? It just is a really bad feeling where I'm like, what am I doing with myself? And then, yeah, waking up and being like, I'm going to do this at this time. I'm going to work out. I'm going to do this. Dude, it really does make your life feel so much better. It's like, even if you get up like a half an hour early, yeah, just like just get up and like go for a walk. Otherwise, yeah, that's that's a feeling that I get, like really free. That'll really like bring me to a bad place when I realize I'm just being blown about by the whims of whatever forces are around me.

Speaker 2:
[61:23] Especially as time goes on, dude, I went to your birthday party. That was fun, dude.

Speaker 4:
[61:26] That was fun. That was a fucking complete shock. 40th.

Speaker 2:
[61:29] So you had no idea.

Speaker 4:
[61:31] No clue. Everyone was laughing at me. Like you didn't even Google the thing. Like my wife told me she was going to take me to an opera. And then she did it. It was actually, to her credit, was a pretty good move. She's like, we don't, we never do anything like that. We never get dressed up and I was like, all right.

Speaker 2:
[61:45] It was boys in the hood, the opera.

Speaker 4:
[61:50] I didn't know what the hell it was, man. I was like, I didn't, everyone was laughing at me. It was like, didn't you Google the opera wasn't even in town that weekend. I'm like, I didn't look it up.

Speaker 2:
[61:57] I was just showing up, man, you know, and 84% of life's just showing up.

Speaker 4:
[62:02] Yeah, man. And I really can just be like, I don't look into things. I realized that night, I didn't realize how little I truly like look into things. And I'll just like, just be like, all right, I'll just come. I don't like research it. I was talking to a lot of people that are like, I'd have to look at the seat chart. I have to know where I'm sitting.

Speaker 2:
[62:20] Yeah, that's whimsical, dude. That's like an Irish hello or whatever.

Speaker 4:
[62:24] I really do, dude.

Speaker 2:
[62:24] Just not know what the fuck is going on.

Speaker 4:
[62:26] No idea what's going on.

Speaker 2:
[62:27] But being there.

Speaker 4:
[62:27] And I just showing up, they're like, oh, this will be cool. I was like, I'll get to see an opera. I've never seen that before. Just waited until it came. And then, so I'm like, in my head, I'm like, I'm going to be in a dark room all night. I was like, I'm going to just eat a little wheat edible. I'll be fine. So I'm literally, she was like, oh, the tickets we got, we get to go meet the opera singers before. And I'm like, a meet and greet with the opera singers. I'm like, sounds weird, but I'm like, I'm down to meet them. This is kind of cool. I'm super gullible. And then, so I'm like, kind of stoned. And I just like walk into this room being like, I remember the last thought I had was like, I wonder what opera singers are like. I walk in and I saw my mother-in-law. And I was like, what the hell, why is she here? And then I saw someone I hadn't seen in like three years. And I truly was like, oh, I'm probably having a dream. And I was like, this is not real. And I kept looking around and like the noises kind of came back. And I was like, surprise. And I was like, what the fuck? And then I got like angry. I was furious at first.

Speaker 2:
[63:21] I remember you telling me that.

Speaker 4:
[63:22] Dude, I stood there and everyone was like 150 people. I'm like kind of high on it. I'm like, this is I know this is completely overwhelming. Surprise. And then I'm looking around me like, what the fuck? She made everyone wear tuxedos and shit for this. And I'm just like, furious. I had to run a tuxedos, I forgot. Furious, sorry. I just felt like, oh no. And then I just kind of realized what was happening that I was frowning at 150 people. And I had to like, oh hey, thank you everybody. And it took me like an hour and a half to like, the shock to wear off. I was fucked up. But eventually I was like.

Speaker 2:
[63:55] What was the anger about you think? Because nobody was telling me that and that was fascinating. And your wife was great, dude. She started like five months in advance. She's like, don't forget.

Speaker 1:
[64:04] Friday or whatever.

Speaker 2:
[64:06] And I'm like, this Friday? She's like, no, Friday in five and a half months. But she would remind you every month. And I was like, fuck. And then once I said, I promise, I said, I promise I'll be there. I was like, fuck, I got to be there. But it ended up being great, though. It was a great night, dude. I got to hang out with Tony. There we are right now. Adam Eaget, Joe DeRosa. And is that your co-

Speaker 4:
[64:27] Zach.

Speaker 2:
[64:28] He works at the Mothership.

Speaker 4:
[64:29] Yeah, he was at the Mothership for a while.

Speaker 2:
[64:31] But yeah, dude, it was a good group, though.

Speaker 4:
[64:34] Dude, it was fun. I, though, I got there, was just like, I couldn't even place the anger at first. I was just going like, what the fuck? And I was actually kind of looking forward to sitting in a dark room all night watching the, I was like, this will be crazy. And then it was just like, what I was angry about was like, I don't really like a lot of attention. So then I walked into just like a complete and total, just being like awash in attention and like surprised and it just like, it pissed me off. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, this is like a party. This is nice. It was, it literally took my brain a second to be like, so at first it wasn't even a party. Cause like, you know what I mean? Like my brain was like, these are just people looking at me. I'm like, why is this happening to me right now? And then it was like, it came in in layers and I'm like, oh, fuck, this is my 40th surprise party. Cause we did something two weeks before that. So I was like, nice, I'm done. So like, it like took me, my brain was like lagging for like seconds. And then, you know, I just like had to walk around and be like, hey, thanks, say thanks, say thanks, you know.

Speaker 2:
[65:29] Thanks, Maxing.

Speaker 4:
[65:30] Thanks, I was thanks Maxing. I was Maxing, thanks Maxing.

Speaker 2:
[65:34] Dude, it would be so funny cause I'd be talking like a comedian and then there'd be just somebody who was randomly downstairs, who was at the thing. And it was a nice event, man. It was like an event.

Speaker 4:
[65:43] Dude, it really was.

Speaker 2:
[65:44] And there was like a thing with desserts and there was, I think they even had like a duck or something. They had great food. They had, but then there would be also like just family members or somebody's like, I'm Matt's 11th cousin or whatever, you know. Fire department, you know, just fucking, I'm like, what is going on?

Speaker 4:
[66:01] I think one of my cousins I know, I heard the next day kind of college, he was like, let's get a photo right now.

Speaker 2:
[66:07] Oh, I don't remember some things, but it was just like, there was a lot of different things. And you would get like, yeah, kind of Irish-y looking guys and this and that. And then a fucking, you know, just somebody with Down syndrome who they said was Irish or whatever. And then even just down to a big freckle in a wheelchair, you know. It just like, there was this dissension of fucking McCuskers that had just been through it all, you know. Some Civil War veteran was there, like there was ghosts there.

Speaker 4:
[66:31] Yeah, people were taking it back, because that was only a small faction of my family. So people that I knew would be like, because you would just see various mutations of me, where you'd be like, that's got to be one of his, people were like really laughing about that all night being like, I can literally spot every single one of your family members. You guys all look exactly the same.

Speaker 2:
[66:49] Like dude, that would be the best if they had done a thing, find Matt's family.

Speaker 4:
[66:52] Like a wereswald.

Speaker 2:
[66:53] Yes. And you had to like just find, like amongst all the people there, you had to get like a signature from those 10 people.

Speaker 4:
[66:59] That's kind of fun actually. But no, it was cool, man. I gave it up to Brittany. I was like, man.

Speaker 2:
[67:04] It was very sweet of her.

Speaker 4:
[67:05] Very nice. Very impressive. It was just such a, it was like you said, it was like an event. It was like a massive event. And it's, I'm always kind of like that. I don't want to do anything, blah, blah, blah. So that was, it was nice. I was like, I appreciated it, but it was a lot for me to take in.

Speaker 2:
[67:19] Yeah, it's scary. Dude, having a surprise experience is kind of scary.

Speaker 4:
[67:23] Especially that magnitude, man. That was like, that really like, threw me upside down. So I'm going like, you know, I don't like to ask people to do anything. You see people wearing tuxes. I'm going, oh, fuck. So I know my family hates dressing up. So I'm like, fuck, they made them do that. And you know, I was just like, but it was cool. It was awesome.

Speaker 2:
[67:40] And you can, you can, can you still be draft or not?

Speaker 4:
[67:46] Oh, for the war? I think they just bought, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[67:49] I think the war is a unique term.

Speaker 1:
[67:52] Or the military.

Speaker 4:
[67:55] The conflict. The, yeah, I think it's up to 42. So if I'm, what are the requirements?

Speaker 1:
[68:01] And they keep fucking making the age bigger due to, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[68:03] 42, dude, there's some.

Speaker 4:
[68:06] I got two good years of me.

Speaker 2:
[68:07] Bro, you could be a colonel.

Speaker 4:
[68:10] That'd be crazy. I mean, I went to college, at least I want sergeant. Like, I'm not going in there as a grunt.

Speaker 2:
[68:15] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[68:16] But actually, I'd kind of like to boss up as a grunt.

Speaker 2:
[68:18] Gotta be on time. What are some of the army chants, dude? You have to do some of those, probably.

Speaker 4:
[68:23] Yeah, it's like, I don't know what I've been told. Yeah, 42 is not that old or whatever.

Speaker 2:
[68:28] Welcome, America. Army raised the enlistment age to 42.

Speaker 4:
[68:34] Yeah, they're pandering to me.

Speaker 2:
[68:35] Eases marijuana restrictions, dude. So you can have. Dude, it's just gonna be a bunch of fucking thick trans kids on gummies out there. Here was one of the problems. Did you know that 70% of young Americans are unfit to serve in the military? They couldn't serve in the military.

Speaker 4:
[68:53] Yeah, I heard that.

Speaker 2:
[68:54] 70%.

Speaker 4:
[68:55] Yeah, that's no surprise, man. That's, I mean, that's sad.

Speaker 2:
[68:57] That blew my mind.

Speaker 4:
[68:59] Really?

Speaker 2:
[68:59] Yeah, when I was a kid, I feel like, I've, like, it felt like 70% could serve in the military.

Speaker 4:
[69:04] Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[69:05] You had some kids in wheelchairs or something. You had like some black kids that were still sucking their thumb or something, even though they were like 19 and shit.

Speaker 4:
[69:10] Still rocking, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[69:11] Yeah, which is cool, but they weren't saying anything, but they weren't retarded. So you got to pick a path. But then you had like, yeah, one kid that would get sunburned bad, he couldn't go. You had that bee sting kid or whatever who was always a fucking piece of shit.

Speaker 4:
[69:25] I'm down for them just doing like BattleBots. We're at the point now where it is ridiculous to just be like, yeah, we're going to just send a bunch of 18 year olds there and shoot each other. So that's like, it's just like, I said this before, it's like embarrassing. Like guys, for real, we're still doing this. Let's do BattleBots, solve it, see what's up. Whoever wins gets, you know, whoever gets.

Speaker 2:
[69:43] Yeah, it's like pink slips.

Speaker 4:
[69:43] Yeah, your buzz saw flips my wedge. Now you get the whole nukes. And if I'll build a better robot, I'll get the nukes back so I can destroy the world if I have to, you know, if I want to get my way.

Speaker 2:
[69:52] Yeah, I agree. It's like, what do, to really be using, I don't know, dude, it's just fucking.

Speaker 4:
[69:57] But there's the trick where it's like, yeah, you know what, you're right. Then some guy just blows up your city and you're like, I'm fucking blowing them up, fuck that. So it's like, I don't think, I think it's escapable.

Speaker 2:
[70:05] A major update to army recruiting regulations this week raises the maximum age a recruit can join to 42 and removes a barrier to joining for recruits with a single legal conviction from marijuana or drug paraphernalia possession. The army's previous limit was 35, though exceptions are occasionally made. The higher age limit brings the army in line with other services' limit of 41 in the Navy and 42 in the Air Force.

Speaker 4:
[70:26] That's the weirdest of all and again, it's whoa, what the fuck is that?

Speaker 2:
[70:29] It's kind of shit, I don't know. I thought that was fucking Doug Stando for a second. On the left.

Speaker 4:
[70:35] Well, the, okay.

Speaker 2:
[70:37] Secret double life of Kristi Noem's cross-dressing husband, Brian. The pouting busty bimbo photos and trove of explicit messages. He could have, that could have been a costume he was doing.

Speaker 4:
[70:49] Yeah, I mean.

Speaker 2:
[70:50] You see. It's today revealed as a secret cross-dresser who dons gigantic fake breasts and pink hot pants to chat with online fetish models.

Speaker 4:
[70:58] Ooh, that's the pornhole going wrong, man.

Speaker 2:
[71:00] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[71:01] So you need to shut the laptop. Once you're putting, once you're bimbifying yourself for webcast, is that what happened? He was bimbifying.

Speaker 2:
[71:07] It looks like, well, his wife operated at the highest echelons of government, handling matters of national security. In a recent role as DHS secretary, Brian Noem, 56, has been dressing up and playing adult, and paying adult entertainers to talk dirty. The Daily Mail has reviewed hundreds of messages involving three women from the bimbification scene where porn performers transfer themselves into real life Barbie dolls by pumping colossal amounts of saline into their breath.

Speaker 4:
[71:32] Oh, that was his boobs basically from saline?

Speaker 2:
[71:37] Yeah, so was he pumping his own tits full of that shit? God.

Speaker 4:
[71:42] Okay, no, he had balloons, okay.

Speaker 2:
[71:43] Oh, Brian, an insurance mogul, could be seen squeezing into a flesh-colored crop topped with skin-tight pink shorts.

Speaker 4:
[71:52] Hold on, so those tits were balloons with the nipple, oh, the knots mimic the nipples. I mean, I'll at least shout them out on the nipple position, that was...

Speaker 2:
[72:00] That's pretty smart.

Speaker 4:
[72:01] That was kind of nice. Dang, bro.

Speaker 2:
[72:04] What the fuck, dude? What the fuck is going on?

Speaker 4:
[72:07] Bro, that's nice for balloons, I'll get, whoa, what the?

Speaker 2:
[72:12] Oh, man. But he has that kind of glossy skin where he's fucking, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 4:
[72:16] That's a horny guy. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that that's kind of alpha, to be that horny where you have balloon boobs, like a fifth grader.

Speaker 2:
[72:26] No, it sounds like what those fucking clavicular kids are going to be doing. Putting fucking hacky sacks in their chests and shit.

Speaker 4:
[72:34] Yeah, man, that is a...

Speaker 2:
[72:35] He sent his secret roster of online acquaintances at least $25,000 to be cashed out in PayPal, but when the payments were delayed or failed or materialized, the chats would quickly turn sour.

Speaker 4:
[72:43] Oh, I bet, if I paid $25,000, look at my balloon tits and you didn't, you delayed on me, I turned sour. Oh, dude, so they kind of like put his stuff out there.

Speaker 2:
[72:55] Yeah, it's a sign that somebody who spouses at that level has that kind of bad judgment.

Speaker 1:
[73:00] Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, bro.

Speaker 4:
[73:04] I didn't know this was a thing, dude.

Speaker 2:
[73:06] Yeah, I guess it is, dude. Honestly, bro, all this shit makes me want to cut my own wiener off and just mail it to Africa, dude. I'm not even joking, dude. I thought about that for years. Cut my wiener off, get my nuts off.

Speaker 1:
[73:20] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[73:20] If they want it or just whatever you want. You can do it, send them both.

Speaker 4:
[73:22] But keep your nuts because that will keep your tea going and stuff.

Speaker 1:
[73:24] That way you can be charged up.

Speaker 2:
[73:25] Yeah, keep my nuts.

Speaker 4:
[73:27] Let your nuts hang. Chop off your unit and just keep everything else.

Speaker 2:
[73:30] And mail it to Africa. Feed a person or two.

Speaker 1:
[73:32] That would be nice.

Speaker 2:
[73:34] They grill that bitch up in a second, dude.

Speaker 4:
[73:37] Munch that thing.

Speaker 2:
[73:38] They get some fucking Tennessee wiener in the mail. They would grill that bitch up.

Speaker 4:
[73:42] Put mine on a toothpick and serve it at a party with others.

Speaker 1:
[73:44] But yeah, they'd be like, glizzy, who wants a glizzy? A fresh glizzy.

Speaker 4:
[73:56] But that is sad, man. It's like, yeah, it's a...

Speaker 2:
[73:58] The way here, the Uber driver, he's like, we need a revolution. You podcast guy.

Speaker 4:
[74:06] He was, but you pumped up.

Speaker 2:
[74:07] No, he's trying to get me to fucking do something. I'm like, dude, I'm fucking trying to go, I'm going to work, dude.

Speaker 4:
[74:11] He's probably CIA, honestly.

Speaker 1:
[74:13] He could have been a fucking op.

Speaker 2:
[74:14] He's probably Massad. But it was just kind of crazy. He's like, we need a revolution, you know? Cause he's like, AI is going to come. It's going to be all waymos. We won't have a job, you know?

Speaker 4:
[74:23] That's true too.

Speaker 2:
[74:24] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[74:24] That stops coming, man. For sure. That's going to be weird. I mean, it is going to be a...

Speaker 2:
[74:28] You're not scared of it, though, you said.

Speaker 4:
[74:29] No, not really. I mean, it's like... I... Well, here's the thing. It's like, if I felt like it was coming and it would just like destroy my livelihood, I'd obviously be afraid of that. I don't think it is. And I feel bad if it does, but I feel like maybe this is me just being hopeful. It will kind of engender some like massive change where people then have to like learn how to, you know, like, do we start just sharing stuff so everyone has what they need? Like, what do you, like, literally, what do you want? And then, you know, people go, that's communistic. It's like, yeah, obviously, but it's like, if it wipes out just like nine industries at once, and you have millions and millions of people who could work, that just, there's no point for them to do it.

Speaker 1:
[75:08] It's like, what do you do?

Speaker 4:
[75:10] Like, what do you do then? And it's like, are they going to have to just like invent weird, like almost like fake jobs? Are people going to get paid just to kind of vibe out? I don't know. I'm personally kind of curious to see where it goes. Cause it's like, you're not going to fight the AI stuff. Everyone's like, we're going to stop it. It's like, no, you're not. If it saves big corporations money, it's coming. They're going to do that. Then it becomes like, what do you do? And I guess like, yeah, I could get, now that I think about it, it's like, well, maybe the billionaires will give us some money. I'm like, you think they will?

Speaker 2:
[75:38] Well, that's what they've said is that people would get some sort of a stipend or some sort of a universal basic income or some sort of a token that they could use for things, which is crazy to hear. Like Altman said this sort of shit.

Speaker 4:
[75:53] This is a king then, so then we'd have kings, which again, if we go back to some like futuristic medieval like serfs, lords, kings, knights, could be chill. I don't know again, I don't know. That's probably people like, fuck you.

Speaker 2:
[76:04] Could be chill though.

Speaker 4:
[76:05] Could be chill, dude. You get to like wander. I get to just be in my garden, light fires, and just kind of like think about the glory of the king, Sam Altman. King Altman. Just cuts my fucking head off.

Speaker 2:
[76:19] He cuts your fucking ram down. He cuts your hard drive down to fucking 30 megabytes a month.

Speaker 4:
[76:27] No more questions about your garden. I'm like, sorry, my lord.

Speaker 2:
[76:30] And then that thing comes through where you throw the dead people just on it, like if your neighbor dies. Remember back in the, like, in the, the wheelbarrow dead cart or whatever? Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[76:41] Yeah, I think, and this is my, again, this is just me being-

Speaker 2:
[76:44] Oh, shit, he had my fucking ear pods in his pocket. We put them on the fucking dead cart.

Speaker 4:
[76:48] This is me being-

Speaker 1:
[76:49] Hey, hey!

Speaker 2:
[76:50] Humanity- Check his pockets, a fat guy.

Speaker 4:
[76:54] You got a fob on your device? Yeah, I feel like, you know, every society rises and then falls in a terrible cataclysm. That's like, there hasn't been one that's made it out of it yet. So like, maybe, it's like with COVID, there was, COVID was bad, but it also did kind of shake people out of that, like, dull, thoughtless malaise that so many people are trapped in just like a meaningless existence they kind of hate. So I'm hoping the AI shakes the cage enough where people can kind of come out of it, but then we don't all just like fall into like complete chaos and start like killing each other. I think there's a sweet spot. So I'm hoping it kind of shakes it just a little bit. If that makes sense.

Speaker 2:
[77:30] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[77:31] So that's my hope, but it's like, yeah, then it's like, well, maybe the billionaires will be generous. I'm like, eh.

Speaker 2:
[77:36] Well, to me, it feels like they, they want us poisoned enough, right? It's obvious. There's so much that has poisoned it. Our fucking water, fluoride makes people dumb. Like if you have fluoride in your water, you're dumber.

Speaker 1:
[77:49] Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[77:50] Which is crazy, dude. But like, they want us to be dumb enough and like not have any fucking balls or want to do. And so you just are kind of like in this sort of wheel.

Speaker 1:
[78:03] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[78:03] And you're comfortable in the wheel. And the amazing thing to me sometimes is how comfortable a lot of us are in the wheel, including myself.

Speaker 4:
[78:10] Oh yeah.

Speaker 2:
[78:10] You're like, you know what? I could go out there and protest sometimes or I could do this or you know, but I could just sit here and watch March Madness.

Speaker 4:
[78:20] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[78:20] You know, just got some new Massa chips. I got some fucking good ranchers nuggets.

Speaker 1:
[78:24] Massa chips are nice, bro. I love those things.

Speaker 2:
[78:26] They're nice. If you eat too many of them though.

Speaker 4:
[78:28] Yeah. It's a fucked up belly ache.

Speaker 2:
[78:29] And I don't eat them anymore. I had like six bags in a row or whatever. I can't have them anymore.

Speaker 4:
[78:35] No, you eat the whole bag and you're like, I just ate a pound of beef tallow.

Speaker 2:
[78:38] What's like having gin when you're a kid or whatever? You can't have it anymore. But it's like that for me, it just kind of burned out.

Speaker 4:
[78:44] The thing that I'm hopeful about is that like, because if it becomes like if money becomes a weird thing where it's like there's UBI and like you do have these like rich billionaire overlords, like money is the thing. If you have enough of it, it kind of like, you know, pumps up your ego to where you're like, yeah, I did it. I'm the man. I've always wondered if we could somehow trick like ultra rich, like billionaire types into being like, no, the real flex is like putting like 9 million people on like assistance and making like a cool future, peaceful village and like getting them to think like, yeah, that would be cool if I did that. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2:
[79:15] Like, subverting that.

Speaker 4:
[79:17] You just have to make up their nerds. Like, so like Zuckerberg, you'd be like, dude, instead of like attacking them, be like, dude, actually Zuckerberg's super jacked and super tough and cool at jujitsu and be like, just like giving the nerds everyone like, yeah, we love you guys. And maybe they'll just like, you know, use billions of dollars to terraform the earth into like a cool hobbit world. I don't know. Now, now I'm just reaching.

Speaker 2:
[79:36] When you start to wonder, is it an evil autism that's out there?

Speaker 4:
[79:39] Yeah, we need to give them the, we need to. Yeah, exactly. I think you could be completely right.

Speaker 2:
[79:44] But cause, cause yeah, to think that you'd have billions of dollars and other people don't have anything is pretty crazy.

Speaker 4:
[79:49] Yeah. But that's, that's the thing though. Cause it's like, I think about that all the time.

Speaker 2:
[79:52] And it's like, White House turns down Elon Musk's offer to pay TS agents during DHS shutdown.

Speaker 3:
[79:58] Why?

Speaker 4:
[80:00] That, that thing was like, well, yeah, we can't pay the TSA guy. This is, I'm a single issue voter and it's, it's wait times at airports currently. But it's like, dude, just take the TSA out of that, cause they're trying to both pass these like big deals where it's like, well, we'll do the TSA, but you have to agree to this. Both are doing it.

Speaker 2:
[80:15] There's omnibus bills.

Speaker 4:
[80:16] Yeah, it's like, take TSA out of it. You guys can go, okay, let's fund TSA. Okay, back to arguing about bullshit forever. It's, I, it's just, dude, that shit pisses me off.

Speaker 2:
[80:24] Yeah. Musk, the CEO of Tesla and owner of social media platform, X, said, offered to pay the salaries on Saturday. I would like to offer to pay the salaries of TSA personnel during this funding impasse that is negatively affecting the lives of so many Americans at airports throughout the country. He wrote on X, President Trump said Monday that he would love it if Musk paid the agent's salaries. I think it's great. Let him do that. The offer from Musk was also warmly received by lawmakers. But then this is, here's the problem is.

Speaker 4:
[80:50] No, I pay him.

Speaker 2:
[80:51] Right. John Fetterman said the offer was incredibly generous in his response to the post. TSA agents across the country were relying on food pantries and community donations just to get by. DHS officials told House lawmakers Wednesday that over 480 airport screeners have quit since the beginning of the shutdown and that the agency is expected to lose $1 billion in missed paychecks by the end of this week. Dude, Timothy Mellon, heir of Mellon Banking, shout out Pittsburgh, donated $130 million to pay the military during the 43-day long government shutdown from October to November. But what's crazy is this could be a trap because then you're letting kind of X or Tesla become this privatized, you know, because now you're kind of privatizing airport security.

Speaker 4:
[81:37] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[81:37] Whether you realize it a little bit or not, you're saying, okay, we'll let him pay these salaries. Then he comes in and says, well, how about this? Why don't I just, why don't Tesla just manage airport security? We could probably do it so much more efficiently.

Speaker 4:
[81:48] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[81:48] And so that's the, like I'm not, which I'm not saying would be bad. I'm just saying that's where things get kind of risky. A lot of times like offers like that, there's this kind of caveat of hopeful business on the line.

Speaker 4:
[81:59] Dude, I didn't know this until recently. Public transportation in Chicago and like, I think the late 1800s, there's all public companies or private companies. So like you would just own like, you know, whatever. Like if you're in New York, it was like, but it's Chicago, like the L train, that was the guy who owned the L train. And everyone who paid tickets, all the money went to him. And there was another guy who owned like, the North Side public, and they all, eventually the city came and was like, guys, give me this. That was like, that was like that for a while. It was, it was like incredibly competitive and corrupt. And you'd have to lobby the government to like, pass your thing and you'd pay people off. Then you just collected all the fares personally. Didn't like, didn't even go to the city. So yeah, it's a, that is a tricky thing though. Cause they can, you know, then they can start doing their weird like, credit card. I mean, you don't get great customer service with government agencies.

Speaker 2:
[82:44] No, dude. Have you been to the post office?

Speaker 4:
[82:46] Post office is crazy.

Speaker 2:
[82:47] I was there a couple days, there was like this sister that was working in there. She's fucking fighting with a bird that's in there trying to steal like a fucking thing of tape or whatever. And I'm like, like in the little gift section area. I'm like, there's nobody else in there, dude. They're, wind going by is just unbelievable. I was an Asian dude. He peeked up out of the back for like a second. The guy with the mustache, the, the catfish looking dude. One of those package catfishes. He's just back there. He swims up to the fucking door and peeks around just to make sure he's not nobody's looking for him and goes back into the fucking hiding behind the seven day certified mail. You'll never see him for like 40 more years.

Speaker 4:
[83:27] He's just to hide for 40 more.

Speaker 2:
[83:28] It's like he saw his own shadow. It's like 11 more months of fucking being on the clock on the government's dime.

Speaker 4:
[83:35] Post office is crazy, dude. I used to mail all of our merch. In the beginning, I would mail all of our merch personally. So I started going to the post office with just like boxes of like 45, 50, 60 shirts already wrapped up. And like I got to know the people there pretty well. But it was like at first I would just show up before they knew me. They'd be like, what are you doing to us? And then they eventually gave me another address where I could just like drop it off at the like hub and they would just take them like a big thing at once and just throw them in the thing. But it was funny. I used to go there and they let me like come towards the back and dump it in.

Speaker 2:
[84:06] yeah, it's kind of cool to see behind the scenes.

Speaker 4:
[84:08] It was cool, but it was just it's very, it is like chill time. If there's a line at the post office, people are like, OK, it's like DMV mentality. You're like, yeah, whatever, man.

Speaker 2:
[84:15] Don't care. They don't feel lines.

Speaker 4:
[84:17] No, they really don't.

Speaker 2:
[84:19] You only feel lines on one side of the counter. The other side of the counter, they don't feel that line.

Speaker 4:
[84:23] No, it's not a restaurant where you're like, oh, fuck, people are going to leave. It's like, yeah, fuck it, go use fucking something else.

Speaker 2:
[84:28] Public transit in Chicago shifted from private to public control in the mid 20th century, centered on their creation of the Chicago Transit Authority, the CTA, in the 1940s. The Illinois General Assembly passes the Metropolitan Transit Authority Act in 1945, when the CTA took over the big private rail and streetcar systems and effectively completed for city service in 1992 with the Motor Coach purchase. Yeah, anyway, that's when it happened. True. I see you've been doing some history pods.

Speaker 4:
[84:58] Yeah, on my Patreon. I've been getting deep into the Conquistador era, like the Spaniards going first to like Yucatan and Mexico, to like, you know, when they like, when Cortez kind of took over the Aztecs. And then there's another guy who like navigated the Amazon River later on. And they like, the Pizarro's took out the Incan Empire. Those stories are like insane. And that's, I've talked to the author who wrote both the books I was talking about. And we're both agreeing. It's like, dude, that's a movie. I talked to this other guy about this too, where it's like, the fact that there's no movie about that yet is insane. Because it is like, especially Cortez taking over the Aztecs. It's the craziest story. Because everyone's like, oh, yeah, he showed up and like tricked Montezuma. And like, they did do that. But it was like, it was like a multi-year effort. They had like brutal battles. It was, it went on like forever. And they were like inside Tenochtitlan, which was like the city of the Aztecs. Dude, that was like a brutal siege. They barely escaped, had to come back and attack it again. It was absolutely insane.

Speaker 2:
[86:01] Were they bad people that they were attacking, or they were just people that they wanted their land, or it was just like during that colonial times?

Speaker 4:
[86:06] It was, it was a little bit of everything. It was definitely during the colonial times. The Spaniards definitely just wanted gold. They were like, yeah, you guys have gold. We're taking the shit. Cortes wasn't even supposed to do it. He was sent by another guy, Velasquez, who was like, take this flotilla of ships. They were in Cuba, maybe, or somewhere. He was like, I want you to scout this Mexico, whatever place, and see if they have any gold or slaves, and bring them back to me.

Speaker 2:
[86:32] That's crazy, dude.

Speaker 4:
[86:33] Dude, so Cortes is like, for sure. He just took 13 ships and was like, fuck that guy. I'm going on an expedition to conquer. So it was completely illegal. It was all fucked up. But he just was like, I'm doing my own thing, like a pirate, basically.

Speaker 2:
[86:47] Yeah, it's like when your dad's like, hey, go fill my car up with gas, but you take it to go see your girl.

Speaker 4:
[86:51] Yeah, dude, for like the ultimate version. It's like if he gave you a fleet of like trucks and you were like, yo, let's go. And it was like, he just rolled up there with 300, 400 guys and they just battled and just battled and like made alliance. That was the thing that helped them. They made so many alliances with different people that hated the Aztecs. And it was like, you know, everyone's like the Spaniards, you know, they did some stuff that was obviously horrible. But the problem was in like the Aztec times, it was all kind of like Yucatan Peninsula, southern Mexico up into like Central. And so you're just being a village and the Aztec chiefs would be like, yo, it's time for taxes, but their taxes were sacrifice victims. So they would come down and be like, give us like 30 people. So you'd be living together and they'd be like, yeah, we're going to fucking chop you up, chop you up, let's go. And like they would just snag most of your babes. And you'd be like, fuck. So then Cortez comes and you're like, yeah, I'll help you fuck those guys up. So they all were like kind of against each other. And then like the thing that really kind of like it's fucked up, it would make me laugh. They would befriend the natives there. And the natives would be like, oh, you guys seem cool. Want to see something cool that we like? And they would take them to one of these like religious temples. And it would just be like a dog with its head bashed in, like little kids bones of like, yeah, we fucking chop that dog's head off. And they'd be like, what the fuck? What are you guys doing? What's wrong with you guys? So there was like, you know, and they say the Spaniards exaggerated a lot of the sacrifice. And but it was like it was definitely on the books. And like, so they got there and they were like greedily looking for gold. But then they'd be like, these guys are chopping off kids' heads and kicking them down the steps. They're like, fuck these guys.

Speaker 2:
[88:21] That's kind of how they were thinking.

Speaker 4:
[88:23] These guys need Jesus. We're going to kill them and turn them into slaves and give them Jesus and take their gold. And we're doing a good thing. So it was like, it was kind of fucked up all around, in my opinion. But like, nobody knew, you know what I mean? Like, they didn't think it was bad.

Speaker 2:
[88:36] So do you think like it kind of goes to an overall idea of like, do you think that like human existence is like a trial to see of like good versus evil? Or like, like I wonder what it is, you know? And then, you know, as things start to get weirder and stuff, then you start realizing, well, most countries always live under like some severe oppression with no hope of like a lot of freedoms, with not even the ability to express themselves in some ways.

Speaker 4:
[89:03] Oh, dude, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2:
[89:04] Like, yeah, you start to realize that like, I don't know. It's just, I don't know. I just, yeah, you wonder like, and then you start to think, well, how does this end? Like, does this end well? But then if that, if you had groups at that time, if you had Cortez traveling around and realizing, okay, we believe these are bad people, we need to bring them into some sort of enlightenment of understanding, is that the right way? You know, it's just, I don't know.

Speaker 4:
[89:28] No, dude, it's really tricky. So they were legally, also, they were legally bound. So you'd roll into a village, and like, you'd hope they're peaceful. Otherwise, you're just doing battle.

Speaker 2:
[89:36] I think the first 10 minutes has got to be tough.

Speaker 4:
[89:39] Very tough, but luckily for them, they'd roll up, dude, they'd roll up in like, on a horse, which, first of all, the Aztecs, they would see, and there's the Mayans are there as well, but they would like, they would see a dude in metal on a horse and think this was like some new type of beast.

Speaker 2:
[89:54] Like a Tesla?

Speaker 4:
[89:54] Yeah, they never saw someone riding a horse. So they thought the man and the horse became like one weird creature, and they were like, what the fuck? And they would just come at you 30 miles an hour with a steel sword, and it's like, it was terrifying. And then like cannon fire, that like helped them out a lot. But yeah, they just thought they were like aliens. They didn't know what the fuck they were. They were like, and then they killed a couple of the Spaniards, and they were like, oh, we can kill these guys. And they would munch them. So wow. Munch them a little bit. But yeah, it was, dude, history's been brutal. And it is getting, things do seem to be getting better overall. Like that dude, that's, like rolling into a village, you're like, I'm hungry, I want some gold. Fucking, Cortez wouldn't, he would be like nice enough, but then as soon as people started fucking with him, he would like fucking burn villages down, burn people alive. It's like brutal stuff.

Speaker 2:
[90:36] That's a, dude, that's a crazy mix. So I'm hungry, I want some gold.

Speaker 4:
[90:40] Yeah, well, they would be starving. They would be walking, walking, walking. They'd be like, fuck, we don't have enough food. And they'd let you just see a village. You're like, we gotta go munch these guys' shit.

Speaker 2:
[90:48] Dude, and bro, you think there was hot babes back then at that time?

Speaker 4:
[90:51] For sure. Oh yeah, a hundred percent. I mean, they're-

Speaker 2:
[90:54] You think? Probably healthier babes.

Speaker 4:
[90:57] Healthy? I mean, yeah, true. I mean, but here's the thing though. It's like, it's all relative. Cause like, you know, you're like, these guys are all by the way, like 21, 22. So you're a 22 year old Spanish guy in 1600s sort of late 1500s. There's guys, they're all like legendary nofaps. All of them, they probably weren't like beating off every day to Pornhub. These guys are, the chamber's fully fucking cocked.

Speaker 3:
[91:21] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[91:21] So yeah, they were probably like, and you know, there's obviously a lot of brutal rape and stuff going on, but like, but yeah, Cortez famously in one of the battles, they like, the general handed him like, here's a bunch of women, like blah, blah, blah. And one of them happened to be a former princess from like one of the chieftains or chieftains who then got sold into sex slavery by like, you know, a warring tribe who then got given to Cortez as like, you know, a sex slave, but she happened to be a princess, Malinche, who like, was like, honestly, one of the key figures who helped him translate all the languages so that he could move about. I don't know if he could have done it without her. It's pretty crazy.

Speaker 3:
[91:57] Wow.

Speaker 4:
[91:58] They became lovers, man. They were like, they were thick as thieves. And Cortez had a wife the whole time living in Cuba. So when his wife, after he finally won, he finally wins over, he defeats the Aztec Empire, takes it over himself.

Speaker 3:
[92:10] That's crazy.

Speaker 4:
[92:11] His wife comes over to visit him. She's like, all right, this fucking guy's been gone. I don't know where the hell he is. He's been gone for two years. Cortez has a child with his new babe who like, been through it all with him. And his wife shows up, kind of gives him an earful. Dude, he choked her to death. And he's just, that was just his babe. It was pretty fucking brutal. That's pretty brutal shit, man.

Speaker 2:
[92:32] That's a crazy love story.

Speaker 4:
[92:34] It's the bizzarest love trial.

Speaker 2:
[92:36] But dude, if your guy conquers a bunch of shit like that, you gotta chill the first week or something.

Speaker 4:
[92:41] Dude, you can't just be coming up.

Speaker 2:
[92:42] Yeah, you can't get out the car mouth and all.

Speaker 1:
[92:45] No, no, no.

Speaker 4:
[92:46] He literally, it was like a savage conquest. And it was like, you know, he's there with all of his bros. And like, he was also, he had made these alliances with these other like, you know, indigenous factions who like, when they beat the Aztecs finally, they all had a party the night of. And they're, you know, the Spaniards was like drinking, fucking around. Dude, these like Aztec dudes were like cutting off their enemy's skin and like walking around in it. And like, you're just all partying. They had like a brutal fucked up, like two day party that they all woke up from and were like, let's say mass right now. That was kind of wild. And then his wife came to visit, mouthed off and he just killed her.

Speaker 2:
[93:22] Damn.

Speaker 4:
[93:23] Yeah, it's up. It's a fucked up story.

Speaker 2:
[93:26] It is, but it's the story that we keep living. It's this crazy like that, you know, you don't know who's supposed to be like the righteous ones, who's supposed to win, what the whole thing is, who's doing things in the name of the right purpose. You know, you're trying to go off of some moral calculations that you feel like you have, but then we're all like immoral. We're all like broken people. So it's like, I don't know, man.

Speaker 4:
[93:52] No, well, that's the thing too. Like I said, I try to like, you know, keep like, at least an open mind to like, all right, well, even with Iran, it's like, say they do make a nuclear weapon and then they drop it on whoever. It's like, yeah, maybe they have to stop.

Speaker 2:
[94:05] I don't know. But it's like, but they're dropping it. They're not. They're not dropping them.

Speaker 4:
[94:09] Or they're just going to use it to get like a seat at the table. I think that's what people do with nukes. You make them and you're like, all right, can we fucking get at the big boy table now? And I fucking get in here. So, yeah, I don't know. You know what I mean? I have no idea.

Speaker 2:
[94:19] It's got to be crazy. Now, do you also think, do you also think, though, you can kind of see how like these fucking mega lords and tech lords and shit, like, like, they start to just sit around and like, they all got in a room and like, dude, we're the fucking, we own the world, right?

Speaker 4:
[94:37] They have, there's no way they don't, dude.

Speaker 2:
[94:38] Right?

Speaker 4:
[94:39] You're 100% right.

Speaker 2:
[94:40] And they'd be like, well, we should obviously make sure the world stays like this, that we own it. Let's keep everybody fucking dumb. Let's keep doing this shit and let's keep bossing out and drinking kid dick or whatever until we live forever. You know, like, I just feel like there's gotta be, that has to be like, and then you, because you start to wonder how could people at a certain level get to that, but they must think, well, if I'm this fortunate, this must, God must want me to, you know what I'm saying? Like, cause if you have been so fortunate and you do have a religious beliefs and your ego gets involved, I could see how you could end up on that road. For sure. God wants me to do things this way. And then you start just fine whatever you do.

Speaker 4:
[95:25] Or it's the opposite. You have no religious convictions at all and you go like this is, it's just, you know, it's like the, those people who look at the world where it's like, yeah, strongest person wins the whole point of life is to be comfortable and like in a dominant position. And then like there's people who have that, that's like genuinely their philosophy. So like, yeah, I'll just leverage technology to gain more and more power to my advantage. And it's like that shit's scary, especially when they get into like the realistic possibility of becoming biologically immortal and you're like, fuck dude, like I just want to grow my radishes, man.

Speaker 1:
[95:55] Just let me grow my radishes.

Speaker 4:
[95:57] Yeah. It's freaked out, man. It is really freaked out. But it's also like, I don't think there's a lot of peace, though, if you're like running some cyber-tronic fucking war surveillance apparatus, I don't think those guys are chilling. I don't think they feel good.

Speaker 2:
[96:12] I think some of them don't feel.

Speaker 4:
[96:14] Yeah, that's fucking, that's.

Speaker 2:
[96:15] So that's the scary part is they don't have the thing.

Speaker 4:
[96:18] Yeah, I think you're actually right about that.

Speaker 2:
[96:20] Like to them, it's all a fucking game when they die, they just short-circuited. You know what I'm saying? They don't have like, a lot of these people, it feels like, don't have something.

Speaker 4:
[96:29] No, yeah, you could be right about that.

Speaker 2:
[96:31] But yeah, man, I agree. It's like get back to what can you control, right? So you make a garden, you go on a nice walk, you spend some time with your neighbors, you do things that feel good while you're alive. You know, we didn't create the world. We're just here in it. And yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4:
[96:50] It's all cyclical too, man. It's like it's going to rise and fall. And you know, again, it's the problem is, it's like, yeah, hopefully this time, this isn't the time where like everything pops off and we all just get wiped out in a hot flash. It's like that is that's scary. But like, what are you going to like run into the White House and just get like shot in the face by Secret Security? It's just like you have to just chill. It's like nothing you can really do.

Speaker 2:
[97:10] Let me see this. Stephen Pinker argues that by most measurable indicators, violence, health, wealth, rights, and knowledge, humans are doing better now than in any previous time, even though it feels like things are getting worse. I don't fucking believe that guy.

Speaker 4:
[97:22] Well, I mean, it's like, yeah, there's probably less kind of crime and like large-scale violence. It's just, the problem is just the information. You get bombarded with just like all this horrible shit.

Speaker 2:
[97:34] Right. And I think there's still like, you know, news outlets. It's all, everything is, I believe that this is, it depends on what you mean. If you don't care about existing and like feeling like you can grow as a human, then maybe so. I thought we were past some of this like old school colonial shit. We're just going to, you know, you'd think we would get past that.

Speaker 4:
[97:57] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[97:58] But, no, it's the same thing.

Speaker 4:
[98:00] They're going to, they did it with Iraq. They're going to go, oh, there's like an existential threat.

Speaker 2:
[98:04] Like try to think back on since, but America knows it's not true now. We know it's not true.

Speaker 4:
[98:08] That's the problem.

Speaker 2:
[98:09] And it's not our, nobody's upset at our soldiers or anything like that. It's just the people putting them out there in harm's way. And to think about that shit.

Speaker 4:
[98:16] Well, it's like, dude, think about a time there hasn't been a giant looming existential threat over our head.

Speaker 2:
[98:21] I know.

Speaker 4:
[98:21] Since like literally the atom bomb. It was like terrorism was the big one. And that was like the Iraq war. You know, back when like when I, before that, it was just like Fox News. My parents would watch it. It would just be like crime in the city. It'd be like the inner cities are out of control. They're going to come kill you.

Speaker 2:
[98:35] Always.

Speaker 4:
[98:36] And then it was just like, terrorists are going to come fucking kill you.

Speaker 2:
[98:38] And then it was like, light supremacist. Remember they threw that there in the middle?

Speaker 4:
[98:42] Yeah. Yeah. Then there was Unsolved Mysteries. Unsolved Mysteries was fucking good though. I like it.

Speaker 2:
[98:46] Fuck, it was banging. Maybe you could help solve a mystery. And do we go outside and I'm fucking looking for missing people in our area? We're like, are you Rebecca Owens?

Speaker 4:
[98:58] Sadly, I never stepped up to the plate. I was a passive of Unsolved Mysteries. I never even tried. I kind of I feel bad about that.

Speaker 2:
[99:04] I used to collect all those 1-800-and-the-missing cards, the ones that came in the mail. Yeah. And I would fucking look at those bitches on my way to school.

Speaker 4:
[99:11] That's good.

Speaker 2:
[99:12] I felt like I was like, because I always wanted to find somebody that was missing, or I always wanted to find a dead body or something.

Speaker 4:
[99:17] Yeah. I was just talking to a guy today. He does For A Living. I had him on my show. For A Living, he goes into bank owned foreclosures, and his job is to assess how bad of a condition it's in. And he's been multiple times come in just a dead body. And he said, you just got to give it a respectful nudge, and then if they call the cops or whatever, come get it.

Speaker 2:
[99:39] You think the first time you nudge, you nudge light, and then after a while, you fucking get a little tough? Like the fourth and fifth time, you fucking just give it a...

Speaker 4:
[99:45] I think you give it two solid, just mm-mm, like a hard knock.

Speaker 2:
[99:49] Just two.

Speaker 4:
[99:50] You got to make sure. Just give it one, and then just in case it's waking up, then no response. Yeah, it's a dead person. I'm in the house of the dead person by myself, and I got to call the cops.

Speaker 2:
[99:59] Yeah, they must have had to get exterminated around here.

Speaker 3:
[100:01] That's the way they are, dude.

Speaker 2:
[100:05] There you go, right there, dude.

Speaker 3:
[100:07] Is that J.

Speaker 2:
[100:07] Rod the Electrician? Shout out J. Rod the Electrician, dude, if you haven't followed that guy's journey, it's the best. But yeah, having a garden, doing things that build your own life up, they give you purpose, right? That's the thing. Let me do some with my kids. Let me fucking look at this dead rat.

Speaker 4:
[100:25] Let me check out this dead rat's face.

Speaker 2:
[100:27] Let me start a history podcast. Let me learn about journeys that were before me. You know, just, I think we have to start to create our own senses of purpose. We have to find new ones in our lives.

Speaker 4:
[100:34] Yeah, man, I think I totally agree. And it's like, you know, I just, for me, it's just like, I'm weary of the news apparatus information. Whenever I find myself getting angry, you know, it's again, it's just like, I just have to ask myself, like, am I getting pulled into some weird thing? I try to just like, you know, I guess it sounds like a cop out, but like, stay out of that as much as possible. Like, what can I do? It's like, I'll try to make people laugh if I can, and just make like, you know, some vaguely entertaining and some fashion stuff. And then, yeah, just try to conduct myself and like, tend to the stuff around me. Cause it's like, I don't fucking know what the hell's going on. It's like, I don't, I have no idea. I can surmise and guess, and I think I have, you know, idea, but it's like, I don't know. So I just be like, look, man, that's, if someone calls me to ask me to help with the situation, I'll try to do what I can, but it's like, it's just, you know, you're almost like, sometimes I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels or it's just like, I'm getting like, kind of worked over a little bit to where it's like, man, these guys, they're in my head right now. And I'm, you know, that's, that's like dangerous, man. Especially when you get like collective anger, you can just, you can move that stuff around and like people, you can do stuff with it. And it's like, I'm always kind of weary where I'm like, I don't know, man.

Speaker 2:
[101:39] Yeah. That's part of the trap too. You start to realize, well, this is part of the trap. They want us to be upset.

Speaker 4:
[101:43] Yeah.

Speaker 2:
[101:43] There's a reason why they have all this information that's out there. So much of it is still under control that there's a reason why this little bit and this got leaked. And it's like, yeah, I don't know. Being alive is interesting, man. I will say it gets more and more interesting.

Speaker 4:
[101:56] It does. I agree. The older you get, I think it does get more and more interesting for sure. I like getting older. A lot of people are always like, oh man, this sucks. I'm like, bro, I'm excited to be 50, dude. Like, this is going to be awesome.

Speaker 2:
[102:06] You just got 40, man.

Speaker 4:
[102:08] I know. I'm going to be 40. I'm going to chill and be 40. But it's like, I don't have the, I think it's cool. I don't know. Something about getting older is like everyone, I guess when you start hurting all over, it probably sucks, but I dig it. I like getting older. Getting gray. I want to look like old as fuck as fast as possible. It's my goal right now.

Speaker 2:
[102:23] Really?

Speaker 4:
[102:24] I'm trying to age max.

Speaker 1:
[102:25] Yeah. That's fucking dope, bro.

Speaker 4:
[102:29] This is a die job, by the way. I'm like jet black normally.

Speaker 2:
[102:32] Is it really?

Speaker 1:
[102:32] No, no, no.

Speaker 4:
[102:34] I'm really stressed out.

Speaker 2:
[102:38] Well, dude, thanks for coming in and chatting with us, bro.

Speaker 4:
[102:41] For sure.

Speaker 2:
[102:43] Upcoming dates, the Fitzgerald Theatre for Matt McCusker, Hoyt Sherman Place, Des Moines, St. Paul, Phoenix, Tucson. Phoenix and Tucson, man. You guys got to show up. Toronto. Oh, the Elgin's a cool spot, dude.

Speaker 4:
[102:59] Toronto's been good. I'm happy with Toronto.

Speaker 2:
[103:01] And Chicago. Let's go.

Speaker 4:
[103:02] That's my, I'm stoked on that. Dude, thank you for that.

Speaker 2:
[103:06] Yeah, dude. Thanks for, and I got to come and do you guys' show again when I'm back in town.

Speaker 4:
[103:09] Please, please do. That'd be awesome.

Speaker 2:
[103:10] Next time it's, we got to come and do, we did that one last time with LaMare.

Speaker 4:
[103:14] It was awesome, dude.

Speaker 1:
[103:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
[103:16] Blonkies or whatever I think it's called.

Speaker 4:
[103:18] Blonkies was great. That was, I think that might've been an all time episode for real.

Speaker 1:
[103:22] That was awesome.

Speaker 2:
[103:23] Yeah, dude, it's fun when you sit down. So thank you, bro. I appreciate it. Yeah, tell Brittany thanks for inviting me to the party.

Speaker 4:
[103:29] For sure.

Speaker 2:
[103:30] It was a good time.

Speaker 4:
[103:31] Thanks for coming.

Speaker 2:
[103:31] Dude, it was great. I'm glad I got to see you and just be there for you. So many people love you. It's so many people. It's so funny. You're like the one guy when you say something like, oh, man, McCusker, my God, he's a great guy. It's almost like you're dead. But they say that shit about you while you were alive. It is kind of fucked up. Like, God, if he were here right now, we would fucking... Hi, dog.

Speaker 4:
[103:52] He was a great guy. It's nice to be getting eulogized. Just like, yeah, he was a great guy.

Speaker 2:
[103:56] When you get living eulogies, dude, I think you're doing a good job, man. Thanks for all your service to humanity, dude. And Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. And what's the new history podcast called?

Speaker 4:
[104:05] It's just on our Patreon. Yeah, that's just a thing I do on our Patreon. Shane was gone filming, so I had to just read books. I had to rely on cool books, you know? That was kind of me, but it was like I can't just make up stuff to talk about.

Speaker 1:
[104:17] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[104:17] So yeah, I just had the books.

Speaker 1:
[104:19] Yeah, man.

Speaker 2:
[104:20] Thanks, bro. Thank you for everything, dude. Good to see you.

Speaker 1:
[104:22] Dude, appreciate it.

Speaker 2:
[104:23] Yeah, man.

Speaker 1:
[104:23] Thank you.