transcript

Speaker 1:
[00:00] Previously on Taz Royale.

Speaker 2:
[00:02] I am a turmoil of emotion. I just found out I'm engaged.

Speaker 1:
[00:06] As long as we're sort of exchanging favors. And he hands you a freshly packed pipe. If you're hitting that thing, give me a constitution saving.

Speaker 3:
[00:16] No!

Speaker 1:
[00:19] Give me a constitution saving throw, please.

Speaker 4:
[00:23] And he picks up the time crystal and places it on his grimoire.

Speaker 1:
[00:28] Give me a wisdom saving throw.

Speaker 4:
[00:32] Well, a two plus five, a seven.

Speaker 1:
[00:36] That was not a great roll to roll that on, Travy. In our last episode during the mid-trial break, we had a nice scene with Loravith getting absolutely just zooted with Dooper Sweetleaf, and Rictus experienced the quickening by taking a secret stone from a specter of death. Today, I would like to check in on HellGramit, see what you'd like to do during the break, and then do a little bit of shopping around for spells and items before we get into the next trial. So HellGramit, you got a day off here to rest and recover and spend how you'd like. How would you like to spend today?

Speaker 5:
[01:55] I think HellGramit is a little confused.

Speaker 1:
[02:01] I cannot imagine why.

Speaker 5:
[02:02] How he could find a message written in his handwriting that he doesn't remember writing.

Speaker 1:
[02:10] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[02:11] So I think he wants to do some research. I don't know which one of the octaves. Do they have access to the octaves?

Speaker 2:
[02:21] Can they talk to the octaves?

Speaker 1:
[02:24] So you all have access to basically the run of the place at this point. There's only 12 people left.

Speaker 4:
[02:32] We all have Bing on our grimoire.

Speaker 1:
[02:34] You do all have Bing. Rictus had to request an audience with a member of the octave in order to talk to them. So you may be able to have a meeting with the octave. Other stuff that you guys have access to though are all of the facilities except for the crystalarium here. So there is a grand library that you could try to find answers in or you could try and see if you could gain audience with one of the octave.

Speaker 5:
[03:06] Well while I do realize that going to a library makes for compelling podcast content.

Speaker 4:
[03:13] Well yeah dad, you could explore the exciting world of periodicals and microfilm and all kinds of things.

Speaker 5:
[03:22] Okay yeah, I'll go to the brary.

Speaker 1:
[03:24] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[03:25] This will be a McElroy challenge. Yes, he's going to the magic library and not even using DuberSweet's magic herbology to get there.

Speaker 1:
[03:38] DuberSweet is a totally different character. That's from, that's from Aethersea. Yeah. Okay, you make your way to the library. There is a large sort of ornately carved wooden double door leading out of the foyer of the ziggurat right, right to the back center of the room. And when you head in, you look all around this library and see a great sort of circular chamber and running around sort of the entire perimeter of this round room is just shelves and shelves and shelves and shelves of books. And as you walk in, you realize that this is sort of the highest floor of the library. It like burrows downward into the island. So by sort of walking down a spiral staircase that leads, you know, four or five stories down below, you just move deeper and deeper and deeper into these rows of books with these tiny little platoes set out every level or so with chairs and tables and desks where you can read and study. And you're trying to look for answers for how you could leave yourself a message that you don't remember writing, right? Okay, so I mean, there's a couple of checks you can make here. I think Arcana would certainly work to sort of like leverage what you know about magic to sort of start your search. If you wanted to do an investigation check, just to see if you could find like a particularly, you know, salient book on the topic, you could certainly also do that.

Speaker 4:
[05:17] Could he not just check the Dewey Decimal System?

Speaker 5:
[05:20] Decimal System, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[05:21] Yeah, I mean, also, if you want to look for, if you want to look for some sort of filing.

Speaker 6:
[05:25] Don't you know the Dewey Decimal System?

Speaker 1:
[05:27] If you want to look for a filing system, you can definitely do that too.

Speaker 5:
[05:31] How about I look for a librarian?

Speaker 1:
[05:35] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[05:35] So I can have interaction with someone.

Speaker 1:
[05:38] Yes, as you look around, give me a perception check, please.

Speaker 5:
[05:45] And it's an eight.

Speaker 1:
[05:49] Okay, with an eight, you do not, you do not see any other people in here. No other Octave members or aspirants or anyone. What you do notice is some movement going around most of the different sort of layers of this, this, you know, whole of a library. And that movement as you kind of like zero in on it, you see books kind of moving on their own. Books that are sort of resorting themselves, books that are kind of cleaning themselves up from little piles on these little study desks, you know, scattered around the chamber. So you don't see any people, but there is like a, you know, some sort of presence in here moving the books around.

Speaker 5:
[06:34] Okay, I'm going to do an Arcana check, see if I can identify the, would it be, I have pretty good nature stats. Do I think it's...

Speaker 1:
[06:41] Um, if you wanted to roll nature, sure, we could try and, we could find an answer for that for sure.

Speaker 5:
[06:48] Okay. Then how does a 25...

Speaker 1:
[06:54] Holy shit, man. Okay.

Speaker 4:
[06:59] Now you can speak to the trees of the books we're made of.

Speaker 1:
[07:02] Yeah, the paper revives.

Speaker 4:
[07:05] Ouch! Ow, oh shit, they cut me up real skinny. I make apples. I hate that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Speaker 6:
[07:16] I hate the idea of a tree getting chopped down.

Speaker 4:
[07:18] He's like talking about the fruit he generates. That sucks. I hate that, I said that. I have to think about that now.

Speaker 1:
[07:25] For the better part of the morning, you spend your time going layer through layer of this library.

Speaker 6:
[07:32] I got used to make the McElroy's podcasting book.

Speaker 3:
[07:35] It's so lonely.

Speaker 4:
[07:38] Please, somebody.

Speaker 1:
[07:42] You spend the better part of it.

Speaker 4:
[07:43] Hey, Travis, I will say this, you can't teach timing like that with a book. That's the problem. That was our hubris, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1:
[07:50] Yeah, I wanted to get it.

Speaker 4:
[07:51] I think that we could throw enough pearls out.

Speaker 1:
[07:54] Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[07:55] With a swan.

Speaker 4:
[07:57] We'll be able to absorb, you know?

Speaker 1:
[07:59] I tried to get a chapter in there that's like, if one of your brothers has been talking for like 30 seconds about some other shit, feel free to jump right back to the joke that you guys were just working on.

Speaker 4:
[08:07] Well, when the jokes hit, they hit, Griffin.

Speaker 1:
[08:08] You know what I mean?

Speaker 4:
[08:09] They hit.

Speaker 1:
[08:09] You can't, yeah.

Speaker 4:
[08:10] Check the laugh from you.

Speaker 1:
[08:11] The muse moves how it moves. You look around, right? You're looking for books on secret messages and, you know, remote conversation and anything along those lines, anything about sort of the sending and receiving of secret messages. And while you definitely find plenty of books on the topic, you don't really find anything describing what you've experienced of like finding your own message that you've forgotten about writing. And so you turn your attention instead towards, you know, memory spells, memory magic, things that could potentially, you know, erase the memory of this message that could be sort of returned to you in this way. And that's almost a like the signal to noise ratio there is not helpful. There's so many ways to make people sort of forget things. And so after a few hours of fruitless searching, you turn your attention over to the sort of more biological parts of the library, the more zoological parts, I should say, because you're looking for insect pornography.

Speaker 4:
[09:24] You get so bored. I'm surprised at the resolution of all your fruitless searches was insect pornography.

Speaker 6:
[09:32] With a 25!

Speaker 1:
[09:34] You burn out and you start looking for insect pornography because sometimes they have that in libraries.

Speaker 5:
[09:41] And I only read insect pornography for the articles anyway.

Speaker 1:
[09:45] Yeah, while you are flipping around through the pages of these incredibly erotic bug novellas, you find something that actually does feel relevant to your search. You see as you're flipping through this grand almanac of exotic bugs, you find an entry for something called an echo mite, MITE, and looking at it, it looks incredibly familiar. With a 25 arcana check, you sort of scan the page, you realize why it looks familiar. The insect that you saw that kind of drew your attention and spoke to you psychically or was maybe a sort of conduit for some sort of psychic speech from whoever this was that called you their bridegroom, that insect, this sort of long flatworm, centipede plated looking thing with crystals sort of poking out of it, is one of these things, is an echo mite. And reading about them, the thing that they are most known for and that sort of wizards are cautioned, you know, against getting too close to one of these things, is their ability to attack anyone with a certain level of intelligence and encode their memories, steal their memories from them in the form of these kind of crystalline shards that jut out of their back. So, you're not sure exactly, you know, if one of these things got to you, if perhaps, like, this is the reason why you could not remember, if you were attacked by one of these echo mites. But the piece is kind of a line for you, in a way, as you are studying this book. And then, you know, you find more, sort of like, super hot pictures. I imagine grubs are, like, big for you, like, really big for you, sort of erotically. But, yeah, that is your, sort of, main find here in the library. If you wanted to look for something else to try and gain any more clues or any more information, you would have a little bit more time to do that.

Speaker 5:
[12:07] Um, maybe not in the same entry, but I'd like to know a little bit more about these things. Could I do a history check?

Speaker 1:
[12:15] Um, yes. Give me a history check, please.

Speaker 2:
[12:22] 18.

Speaker 1:
[12:24] OK. With an 18, this kind of, like, lights a fire in you at this sort of realization. It can't just be, you know, serendipity. There has to be some sort of reason for why these things are on the island and why your memory is faltering. And so you turn your search to ecomites and try to find more books where you can learn more about them. You find a couple other editions of that, like, same almanac where the information is roughly the same. But in one of the first edition of this almanac, the oldest, the pages are weathered and many of them are missing. The bindings are weakened on this old book. You flip to the intro, the entry on ecomites to try to learn more about them. And at the very bottom, there is a single kind of paragraph with a picture of this large, large, large insect that looks like a wildly evolved version of the ecomites you've seen so far. And it is surrounded by just a thrall of smaller, similar insects. And this paragraph enlightens you to the fact that there is a figure in the history of the Thrykeen that is an ecomite. And this information, for whatever reason, has been kind of like removed from following editions and seemingly tried to keep a secret. The first broodmother of the Thrykeen, the one that kind of got wise and overthrew the wizards who created the Thrykeen to be their kind of insectoid soldiers, was an ecomite. The first broodmother who is responsible basically for the Thrykeen's independence and the fact that you are a kind of your own people under no one's control was one of these ecomites.

Speaker 5:
[14:29] And her name was?

Speaker 1:
[14:33] It does not say.

Speaker 6:
[14:37] Rumpelstiltskin. Nope.

Speaker 4:
[14:40] Nailed it. Liza Vermicelli, that can't be right. Griffin, is that right? You just texted me Liza Vermicelli.

Speaker 1:
[14:47] I have told you guys not to text each other while we're making. So with this information in hand, you make your way back up to the surface, your eyes kind of readjusting to the sunset light.

Speaker 2:
[15:05] It is quite late.

Speaker 5:
[15:08] Is it safe to say Helgermet might have stolen the books to take with him?

Speaker 1:
[15:13] Huh. I mean, if you'd like.

Speaker 5:
[15:14] I assume it's a lending library.

Speaker 1:
[15:17] Are you trying to steal all these books or are you just trying to steal this kind of like first edition almanac?

Speaker 5:
[15:20] Those two, those two, those two almanacs that refer to the echo mice. Actually, I don't think he needs the first one, but this ancient one.

Speaker 4:
[15:28] I also don't think you have to steal books from a library. I think they like it when people check books out.

Speaker 2:
[15:33] Yeah, but then you gotta get a card and you gotta get stamped.

Speaker 1:
[15:37] Okay, here's what I would like. If you're just taking the one book, it will be a lower check, but I would like either stealth or sleight of hand to get this thing out of here.

Speaker 5:
[15:47] Okay, I will do, okay, sleight of hand. That is a 15.

Speaker 1:
[15:56] Okay, yes, with a 15, as you make your way up the spiral staircase, you get the kind of like faint impression that several books floating on their own have begun to sort of follow you up the spiral staircase, you know, keeping a fairly good distance, but you manage to kind of like keep your cool and make your way back up to the ground level floor and you exit the Grand Library without anyone sort of stopping you. So you are able to get out of there with this ancient almanac.

Speaker 7:
[16:30] Cool.

Speaker 5:
[16:32] And I shall hold that information close to my heart.

Speaker 1:
[16:37] I believe you will.

Speaker 5:
[16:38] And my wisdom.

Speaker 1:
[16:39] You make your way out of the ziggurat. It is dusk and you realize you have not done your business at the atelier yet. So you make your way over to this giant tent with a huge white cat head popping out of the top of it to do a little bit of shopping where you encounter Loravith and Rictus. Rictus looks weird. Rictus looks like he's had a day and you know what? Actually, I'm going to go ahead and say both of them are being kind of weird, but for different reasons. One is because they had the quickening and one is because they partied way too hard with Duper Sweet Leaf.

Speaker 2:
[17:26] Hey, fellas.

Speaker 6:
[17:27] Oh, God. Oh, sorry.

Speaker 2:
[17:29] Hey, everybody doing okay?

Speaker 7:
[17:32] Bugman.

Speaker 3:
[17:33] What?

Speaker 7:
[17:33] Bugman.

Speaker 3:
[17:34] What?

Speaker 2:
[17:35] Down here, Bugman.

Speaker 3:
[17:36] Oh.

Speaker 2:
[17:36] I've come down here. Oh, okay. I've come down to where you are. Are you ill? Are you fellas all right? Bugman, you do not need to shout. I'm not shouting.

Speaker 4:
[17:47] I am right here, Bugman.

Speaker 2:
[17:49] I'm whispering, good friend.

Speaker 4:
[17:50] Why are you guys being weird?

Speaker 2:
[17:52] I'm just excited. Like I told you, I found out a little bit more. I think about my fiancee and you guys want to hear about her?

Speaker 4:
[18:00] I mean, I have never wanted anything less, Bugman.

Speaker 2:
[18:04] I understand. Oh, right. So I mean, yeah. Well, I'll just save this and then maybe lunches later. And I'll, oh, I can't, I got pictures. I got books. I got porn. I got so much good stuff you want to see.

Speaker 1:
[18:20] John Arbacore pops up from behind the counter. Did you say you have pornography?

Speaker 4:
[18:27] Here goes. Step aside.

Speaker 2:
[18:31] It's very, very specific. It's a very small niche kind of.

Speaker 4:
[18:39] You don't know what John's into.

Speaker 1:
[18:40] I like it all. So you guys here to get some new spells?

Speaker 4:
[18:47] Yeah, I would like to test my luck, Mr. Arbacore. Yes.

Speaker 1:
[18:52] Well, then step right up. He says, you all have a gold level rewards from your last trial for picking your combatant and defeating them. And so you will each get to draw three spells from a spell level of your choice and pick the one that you want. You all, at this point, the grimoires, the gauntlets that you're wearing, where you've kind of been slotting in these different spell stones, they are all full up. So at this point, in order to put in a new spell, if you get one that you do like, you will have to remove one that you are maybe not utilizing quite as much. So who wants to go first?

Speaker 4:
[19:40] Lorveth. Yeah, I believe I called dibs.

Speaker 8:
[19:43] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[19:44] Lorveth, you step up and hand in your sack with the three golden cubes. John Arbuckle sweeps them up. And all of these spell stones kind of floating in the air behind him, behind the counter, begin to sort of tremble as you begin to will them to your collection. What spell level would you like to shoot for? You can also for, if you don't want to specify a spell level, you can draw one from five random ones taken from all the spell levels available, which is Cantrips first, second and third.

Speaker 3:
[20:19] Hmm.

Speaker 4:
[20:21] I think I'm going to try for third level, because I do not have any third level spells. And I would like to try to have something that's like got some oomph.

Speaker 1:
[20:32] Perfect. You sort of focus your intention and three stones, larger and sort of smoother than the rest, float down before you to take your choice Pokemon starter style. The first is Leomund's tiny hut.

Speaker 4:
[20:53] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[20:54] It sounds like good.

Speaker 4:
[20:55] That should change the tide. It should shift the battle in my flavor.

Speaker 1:
[21:03] The next is...

Speaker 4:
[21:04] Wait, Griffin, I don't know, I don't want you to have to read the spell description, but is there any chance that it's a tiny hut that explodes and kills everybody nearby?

Speaker 1:
[21:15] Knowing you, you could probably find a way to make it do that. Sorry, I'm trying to cop.

Speaker 4:
[21:21] This sentient, murderous hut will stop at nothing until its target is dead. Liam and Tiny Baba Yaga Hut.

Speaker 6:
[21:31] It's also a master of disguise and seduction.

Speaker 1:
[21:35] The next is... Whoa, neat. The second one is...

Speaker 7:
[21:42] Fireball.

Speaker 1:
[21:44] Where's your jokes now, Mr. Jokes? Will the fireball...

Speaker 4:
[21:47] Why is Liam and Tiny have a third level spell? I'm looking at it. Because you created a dimensional hut. Taako used that shit all the time.

Speaker 1:
[21:54] Yeah, Taako would have definitely used that and not complained.

Speaker 4:
[21:58] He was good at this stuff.

Speaker 1:
[22:00] And your final choice is... Speak with Dead. I can send you a link to that one, but that's like...

Speaker 4:
[22:11] Now, okay, can I ask about that?

Speaker 7:
[22:13] Sure.

Speaker 4:
[22:15] What, in the context of what we are doing, what can you tell me about that spell?

Speaker 1:
[22:23] Speak with Dead?

Speaker 4:
[22:24] Yeah. Do you know what I'm asking? I don't want to get in the specifics of like... Right.

Speaker 1:
[22:28] Loravith wouldn't know this.

Speaker 4:
[22:31] Let me just say this. We haven't had individual scenes where characters have been met at the River Styx as they're shepherded into the afterlife, right?

Speaker 1:
[22:38] So there's rules with Speak with Dead. You cast it on a corpse, and it has to have a mouth, and it cannot be undead. And the...

Speaker 4:
[22:49] Oh, okay. So it's like fresh. It's not like some of my grandpa.

Speaker 1:
[22:52] Right. No. Yeah. It has to be a corpse with a mouth.

Speaker 5:
[22:54] It's only 10 days old is the max.

Speaker 1:
[22:57] Well, no. You can cast it on a corpse every 10 days. The corpse can be...

Speaker 5:
[23:00] Oh, I see.

Speaker 1:
[23:01] Much, much older than that. So, Liam Unstiny Hut, Fireball or Speak with Dead?

Speaker 4:
[23:05] Mostly dead. I am... Oh, God.

Speaker 7:
[23:12] God.

Speaker 4:
[23:13] This is... Y'all, you ask what the difference is between being an actual play podcast and playing Dungeons and Dragons at home, right? Because like the payoff, if Speak with Dead hits. Oh, it hits good. Massive. Massive. I mean, it's like massive. Like story-wise, like forget about it, right? It's like massive. But it's also like, so what? You know what I mean? You know, he who dies with the most toys wins, so what? I have a spell if I can't use it. On the other hand, Fireball's like...

Speaker 1:
[23:43] It's Fireball.

Speaker 4:
[23:44] Yeah. It's Fireball for sure.

Speaker 1:
[23:45] His kid tested mother approved.

Speaker 4:
[23:49] I mean, it's been doing it since Gary Day's, you know what I mean? It gets it done. But Gary way, I am gonna go with... Now Justin, before you decide... I'm gonna go, no, no, no, I'm sorry, Travis. No, if you go and speak with Dead, you could do pushing Daisy's role play. Yeah, that, which would be amazing. I actually kind of feel like speak with Dead is like too close to Rictus territory for me. Like definitely with Necromancy doesn't feel exactly right. So I think I'm just gonna go with Fireball.

Speaker 1:
[24:25] Excellent.

Speaker 4:
[24:26] Yeah, I don't think that's surprising for those of us.

Speaker 1:
[24:28] No love for Leomund's tiny hut, huh? What? No love for Leomund's tiny hut. Too tiny this hut. Okay, you have...

Speaker 4:
[24:36] I think we've already done that. Apparently, I've already done that. Like I don't remember all of my old...

Speaker 2:
[24:41] His name is Taako.

Speaker 4:
[24:42] I don't remember all the... You know, I'm in the moment. I'm now, you know what I mean? This is today.

Speaker 1:
[24:47] Would you like to target another level or would you do want five randoms?

Speaker 4:
[24:52] Oh, kind of, wait, in addition to? How many do I get, three?

Speaker 1:
[24:56] So you have two more stones. So two more draws. You can either pick from three from a specified level or...

Speaker 4:
[25:03] Level four.

Speaker 1:
[25:04] Oh, you don't have that one yet.

Speaker 4:
[25:05] Level three. Another level three.

Speaker 1:
[25:07] Another level three, okay.

Speaker 4:
[25:08] No, level two.

Speaker 1:
[25:09] Level two, level two. Level two, level two, level two.

Speaker 4:
[25:11] Final answer.

Speaker 1:
[25:12] Final answer. Okay, level two. The first is enlarge, reduce.

Speaker 5:
[25:20] Cool.

Speaker 4:
[25:21] I can't do that already? No, you have your hill giant thing that lets you get big.

Speaker 1:
[25:26] Yeah, so you could get like super...

Speaker 4:
[25:27] How could I double dip?

Speaker 1:
[25:29] Well, you could go giant and then you could reduce to turn back to normal.

Speaker 2:
[25:33] Whoa, cool.

Speaker 4:
[25:35] No dip shit. I mean, you know that's not what I meant.

Speaker 1:
[25:41] The second is...

Speaker 4:
[25:42] I want to get double big.

Speaker 1:
[25:43] The second is knock, the unlocking spell. And the third is spider climb. In large, reduce, which does what it says on the tin, knock, which lets you unlock things, or spider climb, which lets you climb like a spider would do.

Speaker 4:
[26:04] Yeah, we're gonna grab spider climb.

Speaker 1:
[26:06] Okay, make sure you unseat one of your... You can, you know, pop it back in whatever you want to, but this is like sort of the equivalent of preparing spells.

Speaker 4:
[26:14] Okay, how did... Let me see. What's the best way... This is the problem with us never doing the whole...

Speaker 8:
[26:21] The rules.

Speaker 4:
[26:22] Preparing thing.

Speaker 1:
[26:23] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[26:24] I'm looking at the spell list, and I'm not like, are you adding these for me?

Speaker 1:
[26:29] No, you'll have to manage those. When you click manage spells in D&D Beyond, it lets you...

Speaker 4:
[26:34] All right, so we'll do that. I think that that's better than color spray for sure.

Speaker 1:
[26:42] And one more choice.

Speaker 4:
[26:45] I'll delete color spray from my prepared... How many are we allowed to have prepared?

Speaker 1:
[26:49] As many as it... I don't know. The thing will tell you.

Speaker 4:
[26:52] No, but I'm asking for... You said that I had to unseat something. So like I'm asking...

Speaker 1:
[26:56] That was... That's so that you don't go over your limit of spells. At this point, you all should have learned more spells than you can actually prepare at one time.

Speaker 7:
[27:04] So...

Speaker 4:
[27:05] I don't think you're quite understanding. How many can I have? I'm now looking at five spells that I prepared. Lightning Lure, Absorb Elements, Burning Hands, Shield, Detect Thoughts. You were saying I need to unseat something. So I just unseated or I unprepared, I guess you would say color spray to make room for the spider climb. But you have a limited number of prepared spells that you can have.

Speaker 1:
[27:30] Sorry, not prepared. I'm talking about where it says add spells. You click that and it brings down the whole big ass list of every spell. That is where you're going to be doing those. And I think, can't you only learn a certain number of those at a certain time?

Speaker 4:
[27:43] Yeah, you can have, like I can have 11 spells prepared.

Speaker 1:
[27:46] Yeah, you can have 4 cantrips and 10 spells.

Speaker 4:
[27:49] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[27:50] So, if you're not at that limit, then you don't have to go ahead and hop anything out.

Speaker 4:
[27:56] Okay, what was the name of the first one? Firbolg.

Speaker 3:
[27:58] Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 4:
[28:00] Firbolg.

Speaker 6:
[28:02] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[28:03] And Spider-Cline. Okay, one more choice, Juice.

Speaker 4:
[28:11] Let's do a mix. Give me a selection.

Speaker 1:
[28:14] Okay, I'm just gonna call them out if you want a link to the description. Let me know. Okay, first is...

Speaker 5:
[28:21] Wait, there is, you know there's a document of the random spell generator.

Speaker 1:
[28:27] Yes, that is what I'm using.

Speaker 5:
[28:29] Yeah, oh, I meant if Justin wanted to look at it, you can go to him and get a description.

Speaker 4:
[28:33] How about I just listen?

Speaker 1:
[28:34] Okay, we've got spray of cards. We've got snare, we've got...

Speaker 4:
[28:47] What's the spray of cards do, Griff?

Speaker 1:
[28:48] Spray of cards lets you...

Speaker 5:
[28:49] Spray of cards, you spray a 15 foot cone of spectral cards. Each creature in that area must make a dexterity saving throw. When a failed save, a creature takes 2d10 force damage and is blinded until the end of its next turn.

Speaker 4:
[29:04] It's absolutely inappropriate for the character, but it does sound sick. Yeah, it's fine as hell. You know what I mean? But it's like such a bad...

Speaker 5:
[29:11] Like a gambit kind of thing.

Speaker 4:
[29:13] Yeah, for sure, man.

Speaker 1:
[29:14] Third, we have frostbite, cantrip, that's sort of like a, I believe, a melee ice attack. Fourth, we have catapult, the spell, the first level spell that belonged to Grakhan before his untimely passing. And fifth, we have sleep. So, your choices are spray of cards, sleep, snare, catapult and frostbite.

Speaker 4:
[29:48] I'm getting catapult.

Speaker 1:
[29:50] Ooh.

Speaker 4:
[29:50] It's what he would have wanted.

Speaker 1:
[29:52] Rat.

Speaker 4:
[29:52] Beautiful.

Speaker 1:
[29:54] Okay, you claim these stones and...

Speaker 4:
[29:59] I put the catapult one in a special pouch I keep right next to my nuts.

Speaker 7:
[30:03] Oh, okay.

Speaker 1:
[30:04] You don't put it in your gauntlet? No, not yet. Okay, great.

Speaker 4:
[30:09] My hands are full.

Speaker 1:
[30:10] I love it. Yeah, you put that one...

Speaker 4:
[30:11] I just had to put that one in my secret nut pouch for a second.

Speaker 1:
[30:14] Yeah. You...

Speaker 5:
[30:16] For sentimental reasons.

Speaker 6:
[30:18] For sentimental reasons.

Speaker 4:
[30:20] Well, I always loved my nuts.

Speaker 1:
[30:22] As you slot in the spider climb one, you are inundated with the memories of the spider, the one who dressed up like Spider-Man in this contest. And you see him... Uncle Bun!

Speaker 4:
[30:36] No!

Speaker 1:
[30:36] He's a nerdy...

Speaker 6:
[30:38] I'm seeing Uncle Bun die before my very eyes.

Speaker 1:
[30:40] He gets picked on by all the other men and... He's so small.

Speaker 4:
[30:47] Flushed hamkins picks on him.

Speaker 1:
[30:49] One day a big spider bites him.

Speaker 6:
[30:51] Flushed tampons!

Speaker 1:
[30:54] He puts him in the hospital for like two years. But then he comes out of the hospital and his Uncle Bun had passed away. That was totally unrelated. He didn't really have anything to do with it, but he feels pretty bad about it. And then he learns to climb on walls.

Speaker 4:
[31:08] It was actually Turbo Skirvy.

Speaker 6:
[31:09] It got Uncle Bun, he had nothing to do with it.

Speaker 1:
[31:11] Nothing to do with like, he didn't, no responsibility. The power is okay. Okay, those are your spells. Next, who wants to go? And then after we're done with all of our spells, we'll do some items.

Speaker 4:
[31:24] I'll go.

Speaker 7:
[31:25] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[31:27] Which level would you like to target?

Speaker 4:
[31:28] Cantrip, please.

Speaker 1:
[31:30] Cantrip. We've got Frans. Frans.

Speaker 4:
[31:37] Do you think by the third enter the Spiderverse thing, that we'll be able to get the spider into there? Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[31:46] I think that-

Speaker 4:
[31:47] Wouldn't that be sick if they're like, I got my adventure for you. Yeah. I don't remember what you sounded like.

Speaker 1:
[31:52] Mind Sliver is the next one. What's that? That is a psychic spell attack. You drive a disorienting spike of psychic energy into the mind of one creature. You can see it within range. They must succeed on an intelligence saving throw or take 1d6 psychic damage and subtract 1d4 from the next saving throw it makes before the end of your next turn. And you can increase the damage. Actually, you guys are above fifth level, so like most of these spells are going to do more damage. This one does 2d6 now.

Speaker 7:
[32:19] OK, cool.

Speaker 1:
[32:21] And the third is...

Speaker 7:
[32:26] Chill Touch.

Speaker 4:
[32:29] Chill Touch, necromancy? It is.

Speaker 1:
[32:32] You create a ghostly skeletal hand in the space of a creature within range, you make a range spell attack, and on a hit, they take 1d8 necrotic damage and cannot regain hit points until the start of your next turn.

Speaker 4:
[32:42] Yeah, he's taking that one, taking Chill Touch.

Speaker 1:
[32:43] If the target of the spell is undead, it has disadvantage on attack rolls against you until the end of your next turn. And it does 2d8 damage.

Speaker 4:
[32:50] Yes, he'll be taking Chill Touch.

Speaker 1:
[32:52] OK.

Speaker 4:
[32:54] Um, give me a, what have I got, I got, give me a third level spell.

Speaker 1:
[33:04] OK. Um, you hold out your hand and three new stones fly down to your position. The first is, uh, Sending, that's the sort of telekinetic secret messaging spell. We've got Fly, that lets you fly. And then we've got Major Image. This is like a very advanced sort of illusion magic. Uh, an illusion within a 20 foot cube. Uh, and it seems completely real, including sound, smells and temperature.

Speaker 4:
[33:42] Fly, please.

Speaker 1:
[33:43] Fly it is. OK. I assume you are unpreparing spells if you are full. Yeah. I just assume you guys had more than, I think, 14 spells at this point, but... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, OK. And... What would you like?

Speaker 4:
[33:58] Uh, can I have another cantrip, please?

Speaker 1:
[33:59] Another cantrip, sure.

Speaker 4:
[34:01] I'd like to buy a vowel.

Speaker 1:
[34:03] OK. First we've got... Mage Hand. Which belonged to Pockets, who passed in the last trial. We've got, uh, Friends again. It will be there for you. And we've got...

Speaker 7:
[34:22] Shapewater.

Speaker 1:
[34:28] That lets you have a fishman boyfriend. And he teaches you about, like, yourself.

Speaker 6:
[34:34] Uh, you know what?

Speaker 4:
[34:35] Mage Hand's a classic for a reason, I'll tell ya.

Speaker 7:
[34:38] All right.

Speaker 1:
[34:39] Those are your three. And next up, we've got...

Speaker 7:
[34:45] Hellgraiment.

Speaker 5:
[34:46] Fourth level.

Speaker 1:
[34:48] Don't have that yet.

Speaker 5:
[34:50] Okay, let's start with third level.

Speaker 1:
[34:52] Yeah, that is the next biggest one. All right, third level.

Speaker 6:
[34:56] What a maroon.

Speaker 4:
[34:58] Who could make that kind of mistake?

Speaker 1:
[35:02] Hypnotic Pattern.

Speaker 7:
[35:06] We've got...

Speaker 1:
[35:10] Major Image again. And we've got... Summon Undead. This gives you like an undead spirit thrall who acts, I think, on your turn. Major Image is a big illusion spell and Hypnotic Pattern is like, you know, a mass hypnosis spell.

Speaker 5:
[35:32] Yeah, let's go with Hypnotic Pattern.

Speaker 1:
[35:35] Okay. All right, what next?

Speaker 5:
[35:40] Let's go with, let's do Cantrip.

Speaker 1:
[35:44] Cantrip.

Speaker 3:
[35:46] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[35:48] First up, we got Minor Illusion. We've got Friends once again. And we've got Firebolt. Minor Illusion, Friends or Firebolt?

Speaker 5:
[36:11] Um, let's do Minor Illusion.

Speaker 1:
[36:14] Okay. Jot all that down, please. You claim all of these spells, plug them in with sort of faint residual memories of the wizards, many of whom you all have defeated in this contest, who trained those spells up in the first place. Uh, and, you know, while you get a lot of memories of, uh, you know, folks hittin the books real hard and practicing their stuff over and over and over again, uh, not much else, sort of, powerful details come through other than that.

Speaker 4:
[36:45] Hey, Griffin, when I put in Maychan, tell me of Pocket's life on the streets.

Speaker 1:
[36:50] Pocket's actually was, grew up in the lap of luxury. It's like, you would think it's like a charming kind of like street urchin making her way. No, dude, total nepo baby, um, uh.

Speaker 4:
[37:04] What an Oliver twist.

Speaker 1:
[37:07] Terrible, it feels bad.

Speaker 5:
[37:12] Do I get a third choice?

Speaker 1:
[37:14] That was your third choice.

Speaker 5:
[37:15] I've only picked two.

Speaker 4:
[37:16] Just like Griffin.

Speaker 7:
[37:18] Hey.

Speaker 5:
[37:22] I got hypnotic pattern. I got hypnotic pattern and minor illusion.

Speaker 1:
[37:26] Oh, okay, yeah, then yes, sorry. My apologies, I thought that was your third. Okay, one more hellgrammet.

Speaker 5:
[37:31] Third level.

Speaker 1:
[37:32] Another third level spell. Yes. I will tell you guys, there is not many more of these that have not been claimed.

Speaker 4:
[37:39] I haven't really been thinking about it that way. That's a good point.

Speaker 1:
[37:42] We've got Liamon's Tiny Hut.

Speaker 4:
[37:46] I've heard good things.

Speaker 1:
[37:49] We've got Haste. And finally, we have-

Speaker 4:
[37:56] Wait, did Hasty Jane's Beef?

Speaker 1:
[37:59] Hasty Jane has a different spell. Okay. And third, we have... Dispel Magic.

Speaker 4:
[38:12] The party pipper, they call it.

Speaker 1:
[38:17] The No Fun Allowed.

Speaker 4:
[38:19] No Fun Allowed.

Speaker 1:
[38:20] Don't you already have Counterspell also?

Speaker 4:
[38:24] Pfft.

Speaker 1:
[38:24] You're using the Fun Police.

Speaker 6:
[38:27] Hey, you guys doing magic in there? I can smell it. I can smell it.

Speaker 4:
[38:33] Get out. It smells like a ketchup here.

Speaker 5:
[38:37] The RA spell. Yeah.

Speaker 6:
[38:39] I smell, I know components when I smell them.

Speaker 5:
[38:43] Jeez, that's all?

Speaker 1:
[38:47] You can also, if you don't want to unseat a spell for one of these, assuming you're full, you can just say, no thank you, John.

Speaker 4:
[38:55] I know the sound of bones striking an oak ring, Jeremy. We know you're casting. Oh, I'm inverting. I'm turning inside out.

Speaker 6:
[39:08] Is that what the spell was?

Speaker 4:
[39:09] Oh, that's so good. You got to put out the candles.

Speaker 1:
[39:13] All my insides are now outsides. That's real fucking funny.

Speaker 4:
[39:17] Trav, back where they go. Calling your mom.

Speaker 5:
[39:22] All right, what are the three choices?

Speaker 1:
[39:24] Man, I don't- Dispel Magic, Leomund's tiny hut.

Speaker 5:
[39:29] Just to get it off the board, give me the damn hut. Yeah.

Speaker 3:
[39:32] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[39:35] Now watch, that'll be the spell that the whole season turns on.

Speaker 4:
[39:39] It's gonna change everything.

Speaker 1:
[39:40] Absolutely, well, man. Okay.

Speaker 4:
[39:49] Five, six, seven, eight. Griffin, are you ready to tell me about Tempo? Go!

Speaker 1:
[39:54] Nah, man, you're wrong. You're way off, dude. Not even not quite my tempo. Fully not my tempo. I need that 128 BPM that we are your friends' EDM fucking golden.

Speaker 4:
[40:05] Oh, you wanna just like melt down.

Speaker 1:
[40:06] The golden ratio, dude.

Speaker 4:
[40:08] Got it. I love that.

Speaker 1:
[40:10] That's it, my man has it. Travis, thank you so much. You know who else has it? It is Tempo. Or the Tempo. That makes sense. The meal service. It is not easy when you have even somewhat busy life to make yummy eating choices easily that come directly to you and not break the bank. Tempo is a way of doing exactly that. Each meal is perfectly portion for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food, real fast. No drive-through dumps burger.

Speaker 6:
[40:46] Drive-through dumps here.

Speaker 1:
[40:47] No drive-through dumps burgers. It's all good stuff. They got a weekly menu that rotates. And what are we looking at this time? Let me see. Oh, we got some-

Speaker 4:
[40:58] Oh no, dumps burgers are on the menu, Griffin. This is so embarrassing. We're ruined.

Speaker 1:
[41:04] No, never. We got a braised beef, tomato, ragu cavatappi.

Speaker 2:
[41:09] Nailed it.

Speaker 1:
[41:11] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[41:11] You know, Griff, good news. For a limited time, Timbo is offering our listeners-

Speaker 1:
[41:16] There's other stuff other than the cavatappi. I was gonna do like a, here's a few things on the menu, but instead- Give me eight more, Griffin. Eight more? I don't wanna do eight more. I was gonna do like two more. Okay.

Speaker 4:
[41:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take it out of your paycheck.

Speaker 1:
[41:30] Filet mignon and garlic Dijon sauce. That one's fun, cause it like rhymes.

Speaker 4:
[41:33] That makes sense that that's his taste. Cause he's just throwing money around.

Speaker 1:
[41:37] Check this out, Spicy Buffalo Chicken Rotini. Bet you didn't see that coming.

Speaker 4:
[41:40] 500 bucks, go on. Every second you spend on this, you're just giving it away.

Speaker 1:
[41:44] Okay, that was it. That was, I just wanted to sort of showcase the flexibility of this, of this menu.

Speaker 4:
[41:49] For a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60% off your first box. Go to tempomeals.com/adventure. That's tempomeals.com/adventure for 60% off your first box. tempomeals.com/adventure. Rules and restrictions may apply. And before we let you get back to the episode, want to let you know, go over to the merch store, macroymerch.com. 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Porter Angels. We also have a newsletter. You can sign up at bit.ly slash MacRoy Newsletter. It'd be the first to know about like, you know, everything that's coming up. Go to theadventureszonecomic.com to pre-order the final Taz Balance Graphic Novel or go to bit.ly slash Griffin Stoway to order a copy of Griffin's Choose Your Own Adventure Book.

Speaker 1:
[42:35] Thanks Trav.

Speaker 4:
[42:35] Welcome, bud.

Speaker 6:
[42:36] Back to the show.

Speaker 9:
[42:40] This is John Hodgman and Janet Varney coming to you from the flight deck. Please be comfortable. We have now reached our cruising altitude. Well, that's correct. You are now free to listen to the latest season of E! Pluribus Motto. As always, this season we'll discuss the official models of US states and territories for your enjoyment. Look out the window, you'll see local iconography and creatures of all sorts. There will be discuss this season including California quails, Puerto Rican frogs, North Dakota horses, spiders of New Hampshire, and all manner of official and unofficial state critters. I've now turned on the enjoyment sign. So please start enjoying new episodes of E! Pluribus Motto every other week on Maximum Fun and wherever you get your podcasts. Sit back, relax, and enjoy your listen.

Speaker 10:
[43:25] Saginaw, Michigan, Galveston, Texas, Albany, New York, the twin cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, and Muncie, Indiana. We've just added these cities to the growing list of meetups on April 23rd for Max Fun Meetup Day. Didn't hear your city or don't know where your local meetup is? Head to maximumfun.org/meetup and we've got all the details there. And if you still don't see your city listed, host your own. Find somewhere, a park, library, cafe, bar, any public space a small group can hang. Then fill out the form at maximumfun.org/meetup and we'll add you to the page so other folks in your area can find. That's maximumfun.org/meetup. Hope to see you on April 23rd.

Speaker 1:
[44:18] Okay, before we wrap things up here at the Atelier, you guys also are able to draw a prize from the Orb of Conjuring. You all, because you got gold level rewards, will get to roll two D20s and take the higher result.

Speaker 3:
[44:35] Okay.

Speaker 1:
[44:36] Let's go and reverse order this time. You're already up there, Hell Grandma. Why don't you reach into the orb and tell me what you pluck out of there.

Speaker 3:
[44:43] All right.

Speaker 5:
[44:45] All right. And here's a six and two sixes. I get to roll again.

Speaker 1:
[44:59] No, no, not in this world.

Speaker 5:
[45:01] We are sorry you do.

Speaker 1:
[45:03] So with a six, you reach in, you clasp your hands around a small, kind of metallic feeling disc and retrieve it. And what you retrieve is a very ornately painted metal dial. It is sort of split into two sides. On one side, there is a small illustration of a smiling sun, and on the other side is a frowning moon. And John Arbuckle says, Oh yeah, that's the sun and moon dial. You can place it on the wall on any enclosed space and turn it to either fill the room with bright light or magical darkness. And yeah, it's very powerful stuff. Don't do it like at like a kid's birthday or party or something like that. No, absolutely. Okay, the sun and moon dial sent to us by Marissa. Thank you, Marissa, frequent contributor. Who would like to go next?

Speaker 4:
[46:04] Well, if we're going to reverse order, Rick, this is up.

Speaker 1:
[46:07] Okay.

Speaker 5:
[46:09] Nat 20.

Speaker 4:
[46:11] And a one.

Speaker 1:
[46:11] Nat 20.

Speaker 4:
[46:13] I got a nat one and a nat 20.

Speaker 1:
[46:16] The duality of man. You reach into the orb, Rictus, and after rifling through there, you feel something and it just feels like a bag of beans. You're like, nope, next, and swat that away. You try to clasp on to a few rings, but they're tricky to grab on to. And instead, you feel your hand sort of press into a very sort of cool, faintly sort of damp piece of cloth. You grab it and pull it out and you retrieve.

Speaker 4:
[46:50] It's the Shroud of Turin.

Speaker 1:
[46:52] It is not any kind of foreskin, divine or otherwise.

Speaker 4:
[46:58] I don't think the Shroud of Turin was his foreskin, Griffin.

Speaker 1:
[47:02] Was it not?

Speaker 4:
[47:03] No, man.

Speaker 5:
[47:04] Please don't write.

Speaker 4:
[47:06] That would have really changed that. It was the Shroud drapes over it. Shroud of Turin is his burial wrap.

Speaker 1:
[47:11] What on earth? What was the foreskin one?

Speaker 4:
[47:14] You what on earth? What?

Speaker 1:
[47:16] The Holy Prepeus.

Speaker 4:
[47:19] I was thinking of that. And that was the story we told you when you were a kid. Sorry, man.

Speaker 1:
[47:25] I was thinking of the Holy Prepeus, guys.

Speaker 5:
[47:27] I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1:
[47:28] That's a different thing. That's the foreskin. The Shroud of Turin is 14 feet long. I don't think Christ's... It is, as you pull it out, you see a cloak that doesn't appear to be like one color throughout. It is almost animated, just sort of gray and white wisps sort of faintly floating around. The cloak is somewhat transparent, so wear something underneath it. But it looks like you are holding sort of a garment made of sort of a cloud. And John R. Buckel says, Wow! That's about as close to a grand prize as we get from the Orbit Contoration. It's the Cloak of the Misty Lake. The Cloak of the Misty Lake wraps magically around the user. While wearing this cloak, your AC is increased by one, and you may also cast the spell Fog Cloud once per day.

Speaker 4:
[48:24] Oh, hell yeah.

Speaker 1:
[48:25] So you can cosplay as Duper Sweetleaf if you'd like. This ability recharges after a long rest.

Speaker 4:
[48:30] That makes up for the fact that I have lost both the Shadow Seers Lantern and Jordan's Secret Stuff.

Speaker 3:
[48:37] Yeah.

Speaker 1:
[48:38] Okay, and Loravith, finally you.

Speaker 3:
[48:41] Indeed.

Speaker 1:
[48:45] Oh my god, holy shit, wow. God damn.

Speaker 4:
[48:50] Dang, what are the odds against that?

Speaker 1:
[48:53] This is unbelievable.

Speaker 4:
[48:54] Dr. Oddsman.

Speaker 1:
[48:55] Okay, so that's, Justin has rolled a 40, which is to say two 20s on the 20-sided dice.

Speaker 3:
[49:01] Ooh.

Speaker 1:
[49:02] Travis just got the grand prize. Travis just got the one I have for, you reach in to the orb.

Speaker 4:
[49:10] Don't try to make this up.

Speaker 1:
[49:11] No, shush, you reach into the orb and you swat away a nasty bag of stinky beans. You go actually grab the beans.

Speaker 4:
[49:18] Wait, no, no, wait, Griffin, may I?

Speaker 3:
[49:20] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[49:21] Can I wait for a second? I swat aside a bag of nasty beans, right?

Speaker 1:
[49:25] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[49:25] But then something in me is like, beans?

Speaker 3:
[49:31] Huh?

Speaker 4:
[49:31] Doesn't seem right. There's something in me is like, why are there beans?

Speaker 2:
[49:37] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[49:37] Then I go back and I'm like start reaching through and digging through and it's almost like they don't want to be found.

Speaker 2:
[49:43] Like, is there?

Speaker 4:
[49:44] Were they maybe like hiding, was that a test?

Speaker 1:
[49:47] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[49:47] Have I realized like, you know what I mean? Like, what is?

Speaker 1:
[49:50] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[49:51] Beans?

Speaker 1:
[49:52] Sure.

Speaker 4:
[49:53] Okay, so you can do something with that.

Speaker 1:
[49:54] So you grab the beans.

Speaker 4:
[49:56] That quick, huh?

Speaker 1:
[49:58] And you pull them out.

Speaker 3:
[49:59] I thought there would be more of a story.

Speaker 4:
[50:01] I thought there might be a flashback or something. Okay, that was fine. That's a good, good, good.

Speaker 1:
[50:04] You grab the beans.

Speaker 4:
[50:06] Well, just that quick, wow.

Speaker 1:
[50:08] You grab the beans and your mind is flooded with memories of the farmer who grew these beans. His name was Jacob and-

Speaker 4:
[50:17] He was on an island.

Speaker 1:
[50:19] His was a meager life, but one he was very proud of and you pull them out and you see these beans were definitely special.

Speaker 4:
[50:37] Hey, Griffin, is it possible that they're so special that it may indeed take me a full week to realize just how incredible they are?

Speaker 1:
[50:45] Yeah, yeah, definitely, dude.

Speaker 7:
[50:48] You pull these beans-

Speaker 2:
[50:49] Dang, God.

Speaker 1:
[50:51] You know, I know exactly what they are. You pull them out, you open them up and these beans don't look like your dad's beans.

Speaker 3:
[50:58] They don't look like what?

Speaker 1:
[51:00] They don't look like your dad's beans. They don't appear to be any sort of single color at all. They appear to be filled with little swirling gray clouds. And as you pop them all in your mouth and eat them, because you can't resist, you see that John Arbuckle says-

Speaker 4:
[51:20] Siren call of the beans calls you.

Speaker 1:
[51:22] Like those were the beans of the Misty Lake. And when you eat those beans, your AC is increased by one and you can cast the spell Fog Cloud once per day. And this ability recharges after a long rest. They're sort of like the sister item to the cloak of the Misty Lake that your friend both pulled out. So you both have sort of Misty Lake stuff happening for you now.

Speaker 4:
[51:50] Can the fog come out of his butt though? Because of those beans. And so I'm like, so- You feel these magic clouds. So I'm like, as I'm chewing the beans, I'm like, I have a question though. What about my Allah 20?

Speaker 1:
[52:04] You look down at the bag that the beans were in. It doesn't seem to be any single color at all. The bag appears to be swirling around.

Speaker 4:
[52:15] And I just slowly chew it. Stink dry as beans. Now, normally you're supposed to soak them for 68 hours. But it's fine, yeah.

Speaker 6:
[52:28] Burlap sack.

Speaker 1:
[52:29] He says, good lord, that's the little bag of Misty Lake. And if you put something in it, its AC is increased by plus one and it can cast the spell Fall Cloud once per day.

Speaker 6:
[52:41] Say your say.

Speaker 3:
[52:43] Fall Cloud, Griffin.

Speaker 1:
[52:44] There once was a great, let me finish, there once was a great sorcerer, the sorcerer of the Misty Lake. He had three things. One, he had a cloak. Two, he had a little bag with nothing put in it. And three, he had a big friendship with Jacob. He had normal beans. He had a friendship with Jacob, the bean farmer. So he bought all his beans one day for exchange.

Speaker 4:
[53:09] Normal beans.

Speaker 1:
[53:09] For exchange of a normal cow. And then I guess he put the beans inside the bag and they kind of just sort of...

Speaker 4:
[53:17] Well, what happens if you bring these three powerful artifacts together?

Speaker 1:
[53:21] Well, he just ate the beans.

Speaker 2:
[53:22] He could eat my cloak.

Speaker 1:
[53:24] In the bag. I guess if you want to do, this is like how they cast the spell and into the woods. For sure, for sure, for sure.

Speaker 4:
[53:31] Well, okay. Let's be, let's be reasonable.

Speaker 1:
[53:35] Okay.

Speaker 4:
[53:35] Because I did eat the beans, the magical beans.

Speaker 1:
[53:39] Yeah.

Speaker 4:
[53:39] Before really thinking about it. So I have selected that item. I don't get both the items, right? I have to choose. And sadly, I have to hand it back.

Speaker 1:
[53:46] You get the beans of the Misty Lake and the little bag of the Misty Lake. Are you sure? But the little bag of the Misty Lake is so small. You're gonna have a hard time putting anything in there.

Speaker 5:
[53:55] Can we call the beans toot fruits?

Speaker 1:
[53:57] You can't stick, you can't, you cannot stick your hand in there and be like, now it's on me, I have plus one more AC.

Speaker 4:
[54:03] Am I, so the way that to me that this worked was that the beans from Jacob were normal, the bag was magic, because and the bag transferred the magic to the regular beans. So I ate the magic beans that were originally regular and I kept the magic bag, which now does not have magic.

Speaker 1:
[54:23] Yeah, I've added normal little bag to your inventory.

Speaker 4:
[54:24] You've added normal little bag here. Yeah, okay, got it.

Speaker 1:
[54:27] Awesome.

Speaker 4:
[54:27] That makes perfect sense.

Speaker 1:
[54:28] I think it's very fair.

Speaker 2:
[54:29] Great.

Speaker 4:
[54:31] One AC. Let me just hold on one second. I'm getting the double digits here.

Speaker 1:
[54:38] Wow, you had nine armor class before. That's pretty low. You should talk to someone, you should talk to a medical professional about your armor class.

Speaker 4:
[54:47] There's a negative one dexterity problem. I don't know how to just like add.

Speaker 1:
[54:52] I can toss a magic item in there in a bit. So, the day concludes, and after a night of rest, that is, I'd say, maybe particularly fitful for you, Rictus, in particular. Rictus, give me a wisdom saving throw, please.

Speaker 4:
[55:11] Okay. 16 plus 5, 21.

Speaker 1:
[55:19] Bad dreams this evening. And part of it is like pretty explicitly like these continued assaults from, you know, these memories from The Gentleman, that at this point, you have learned to sort of control, they're not going to be like a constant ongoing threat, necessarily, anymore, but they do make it hard to get a little bit of shut eye.

Speaker 4:
[55:44] Am I learning anything from him, like why he was weird?

Speaker 1:
[55:47] No, they're too, they are too, like, chaotic. And honestly, like the reason why you are having a hard time kind of discerning that and the reason why you're having sort of a difficult time focusing in general is this spell that you have gained, Time Stop, is a lot more powerful than anything you have like fucked with before. And just sort of having that in your brain is proving to be pretty like, pretty bad for your mental health generally speaking. So you make it through the night and when you all awaken, it is somewhat confusing as you look out the windows, you see that the morning, the sun has not come, it has not risen. You look out and the sky around you, it doesn't look like the sort of evening sky that you saw when you went to sleep. It looks like cartoonishly scary, like there's a huge full moon that seems like unnaturally large and there's like creepy clouds floating around in front of them and swarms of bats sort of flitting throughout the sky. And two big-

Speaker 4:
[57:02] Please, can you stop? You're spooking Justin out.

Speaker 1:
[57:05] Two big jack-o'-lantern pumpkins.

Speaker 3:
[57:07] God, no! No!

Speaker 4:
[57:11] Lorveth is terrified of jack-o'-lanterns, just like every character I've ever created.

Speaker 2:
[57:16] And you know that.

Speaker 1:
[57:18] Is it possible to just, you don't, you're scared?

Speaker 4:
[57:21] Well, Justin's definitely allergic to pumpkin.

Speaker 1:
[57:23] Yeah, we did learn that.

Speaker 4:
[57:24] Everybody knows that.

Speaker 1:
[57:27] You all, in sort of like getting the lay of the land, you see the members of the Octave and some of the other aspirants have begun making their way toward the graveyard at the corner of the Ziggurat Island. As you all approach and step in through the gates of the graveyard, you can all see, you all haven't spent equal amounts of time here. Rick, as you especially noticed, the layout has kind of changed. This mausoleum at the rear of the graveyard that you've gone into and sort of communed with this, well, in one case, this statue of death and in the other, the octave member responsible for necromancy. That mausoleum is gone and standing in its place, far at the back of the graveyard, is a large two-story manor. It is surrounded by a sort of wide, lush lawn peppered with dozens of unmarked graves. And this big manor house is surrounded, this yard is surrounded by a tall black iron fence. And the atmosphere in the area, as everyone kind of makes their way toward it, is pretty oppressive. You all step in toward the manor and this black iron gate swings shut behind you. And as you file in to this building, where everyone is congregating for the trial, you are there with the nine other aspirants, there's 12 in total. You see the floating sort of image of four, Rictus, the Octave of Necromancy, wearing this very, very fashionable, very sort of mystical looking dark purple robe that is hiding his face. And standing in front of him, you all see Ocean, the Octave member who sort of led you into your first trial and welcomed you to the island when you first got here, he says. Welcome all, welcome. Come in, come in, welcome. As you probably have guessed at this point today, we will be conducting the Trial of Necromancy.

Speaker 7:
[59:56] Yes!

Speaker 1:
[59:58] Yes, Rictus, I assumed that you-

Speaker 6:
[60:00] Sorry, was that out loud?

Speaker 1:
[60:02] Yes, it was out loud, I understand your excitement. You are likely well versed in what happens, the possibilities of sidestepping the veil of death. And today, you all will learn that lesson. You will also learn the way that death marks those who send people beyond that veil in either direction. I will be speaking for my associate here. Go ahead and introduce yourself. And you see this floating wizard wearing this purple robe just hold up a slender gloved hand with four fingers. And Oshim says, yes, OK. So this trial will be different. This trial marks the end of our no hurting each other rule.

Speaker 7:
[60:58] You all, hell yeah.

Speaker 4:
[61:00] Yes.

Speaker 1:
[61:01] If you so choose, you may, of course.

Speaker 4:
[61:04] Fromagio Bucatini still around, Griffin?

Speaker 1:
[61:06] Fromagio Bucatini? He is still around.

Speaker 4:
[61:09] I'm glaring at him so hard.

Speaker 3:
[61:11] Why?

Speaker 4:
[61:13] No, we had beef, remember?

Speaker 1:
[61:15] Fromagio Bucatini?

Speaker 4:
[61:17] Because, yeah, remember there was an episode where we were supposed to choose the people we were gonna deal with, and I bumped into him, but I kept going to the gentleman.

Speaker 1:
[61:24] Oh, no. Fromagio Bucatini, OK, you're right. Fromagio Bucatini is looking at you. He's gonna try and fuck. Travis, roll an insight check.

Speaker 4:
[61:31] Oh, OK. 17 plus 2, a 19.

Speaker 1:
[61:36] Fromagio Bucatini is coming for your ass fucking hard. You better be ready turn one motherfucker, because Fromagio Bucatini is going to absolutely come and stab you to death.

Speaker 4:
[61:45] I pointed his hat, and then I do like as if I were dragging the finger across the throat gesture, but a tiny one up above like where his head would be.

Speaker 1:
[61:55] His hat sort of shuffles around and falls off. Fromagio Bucatini really quickly scoops it back up and puts it on his head. Looks at you with increased resolve to kill your ass. Ocean goes on. He says, there are no rules against killing each other, but again, death has a way of keeping tabs of those who deal with him. You will be wise to not be so eager to defeat your fellow aspirants, but if that is where the fates guide you, then so be it. You may want to consider working together in small groups because there is no number of guaranteed survivors of this trial, and it would be a big bummer if everyone died and then the conclave was just sort of over. Any questions?

Speaker 2:
[62:58] How do we form these groups? Do we put bids in? Do we have to audition each other? How would that work?

Speaker 1:
[63:07] I'm so glad you asked. Everyone, drop your buffs. No, just kidding.

Speaker 2:
[63:13] You just sort of talk about it.

Speaker 1:
[63:15] I can't really instruct you on how to make friends.

Speaker 2:
[63:19] Dibs!

Speaker 1:
[63:21] Who are you dibsing?

Speaker 4:
[63:23] Yourself?

Speaker 2:
[63:25] No, no, on you two guys.

Speaker 4:
[63:28] You can't call dibs.

Speaker 2:
[63:31] I'm just showing my affection for you.

Speaker 4:
[63:35] Seem more like ownership.

Speaker 2:
[63:37] Well.

Speaker 4:
[63:38] I go over and I do a secret handshake with Franklin.

Speaker 1:
[63:42] Franklin, okay, give me a persuasion check or just a charisma check. This isn't a persuasion check. Unless it's an intimidating secret handshake.

Speaker 2:
[63:54] No.

Speaker 4:
[63:54] Ah, beans. Three plus one, four.

Speaker 1:
[63:58] For your chow check, Franklin looks up at you and gives you a kind of sly nod.

Speaker 2:
[64:09] But he leaves me hanging?

Speaker 1:
[64:11] No, he shakes your hand, but he squeezes it a little weird.

Speaker 4:
[64:15] Okay.

Speaker 2:
[64:17] I guess it just leaves you and me, buddy.

Speaker 1:
[64:23] Loravith. You see that Duber Sweetleaf has also come to just sort of stand in your shadow, sort of reflexively, Loravith. I assume, sir, that perhaps we could, I've learned some new spells. I think I can hold my own if we could compliment each other's abilities and see each other through this trial.

Speaker 2:
[64:45] Loravith, Loravith, isn't he a little ineffectual?

Speaker 4:
[64:52] And I kick him in the, I kick him in the stomach. Sorry, sorry, I punch you in the stomach.

Speaker 2:
[64:57] I didn't want you to punch him in the stomach.

Speaker 4:
[64:59] I have just a sense of what you're gonna say, I just feel like it's gonna be mean.

Speaker 1:
[65:02] You're punching Hellgrammet in the stomach?

Speaker 4:
[65:05] No, no, no, what, go ahead, go ahead.

Speaker 2:
[65:07] I mean, don't you want, I mean, I know you have a passion.

Speaker 5:
[65:11] Isn't he a little what, Bugman?

Speaker 2:
[65:12] Isn't he a little small? I mean, we need bangers. Hey, we're down to the final 12, man.

Speaker 4:
[65:23] Who would you suggest, Bugman?

Speaker 2:
[65:27] I'll be honest with you, I'm not sure who's still.

Speaker 1:
[65:31] Okay, I can give you a roundup if you would like. The 12 survivors, the three of you, you got Duber Sweetleaf, you got Pranklin, you got Formaggio Buccottini. The other survivors, you see Scorpio, Hellgrammit, the large scorpion man who you have beefed with in the past.

Speaker 2:
[65:46] We have beef, yeah.

Speaker 1:
[65:47] Hasty Jane is here. Burger Man, the spider who is a spider who you have also had dealings with in the past, Hellgrammit, Tommy Falcon and Hippocrates.

Speaker 4:
[65:56] Wait, I thought he died. Didn't we see his memories? There's a different spider.

Speaker 1:
[65:59] There were three of the spiders.

Speaker 4:
[66:01] Holy crap.

Speaker 1:
[66:02] He's a great game.

Speaker 2:
[66:04] All right. Look, I know you. I'll let the kid join us. I don't want to put you in the position.

Speaker 4:
[66:10] No, wait a minute.

Speaker 1:
[66:11] Now hold on.

Speaker 4:
[66:11] I didn't know Scorpio was available.

Speaker 7:
[66:13] Scorpio!

Speaker 1:
[66:15] Scorpio comes over, gives you a fucking big old meaty hand, big predator hand slap, big old like, you know it. Loravith, I have no cause.

Speaker 6:
[66:25] We're like, good news, Dooper.

Speaker 2:
[66:27] Now you have two dads. You can count on me. Yes, Dooper, I'll be your other dad.

Speaker 6:
[66:38] Sorry, the butler seems to be interrupting our conversation. Butler, hellgram it, please leave us be.

Speaker 4:
[66:45] Mr. Bugvidear, Mr. Bugvidear, the dads are talking.

Speaker 2:
[66:51] But I asked first.

Speaker 1:
[66:55] Burger Man flops over to you, hellgram it, and holds out a similar power handshake, and he flops his little bun up and down.

Speaker 2:
[67:06] Oh, no, I'm already committed to Rictus over here. Rictus, you need a third, right?

Speaker 4:
[67:13] We're already talking to Hasty Jane.

Speaker 2:
[67:15] Oh, crap.

Speaker 1:
[67:17] As you are sort of trying to find your group, hellgram it, you all feel a stiff wind blow in through the open door of this manor into the lobby where you all are standing. And as that happens, the moonlight outside begins to disappear as these thick clouds kind of billow in front of it. And with that, Oshim says, It is time for the trial of necromancy to begin. And you all hear the sound of rustling outside and turn to look through the windows and the open door of the manor out into the yard out front where all these unmarked graves were. And you can see, faint as the light is outside now, you can see movement around these graves. The dirt is sort of rising and falling and parting. And then you begin to see limbs. You see hands and arms pulling bodies upwards out from next to these graves. And as some of them begin to breach the ground level surface, you look and across this sort of field of the rising dead, you see familiar faces. You see the face of Dr. Legume as he pulls himself upwards out of one of these graves. You see the sort of hooded, red webbed cowl of the spider, Spider-Man Spider, pull himself out of a grave. You see Grykon pull himself upwards out of a grave. You see the gentleman pull himself upwards, looking around the 40... Wait, let me do my math right. 48, 64, minus 12 is 52.

Speaker 4:
[69:25] 52.

Speaker 1:
[69:25] From the graves surrounding you in varying states of decay, the 52 other aspirants that you all have felt during the Conclave have been revived as these monstrous, shuffling dead. And you turn back and see Osham and Four begin to vanish and Osham says, Oh, right. Your mission for this trial, survive until sunrise.

Speaker 4:
[70:01] If only someone had speak with dead.

Speaker 8:
[70:38] Maximum Fun, a workaround network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.